Break Down These Walls

I bit my bottom lip as I scanned over my things. I’d checked both buses and The Maine’s van for any lost items. Now everything was packed into my suitcase and duffel bag. It was already to go back home.

I’d talked to Chris and asked him to cover all my acoustic sets for the rest of the tour. He agreed, though he wished I wouldn’t leave. I said goodbye to Ember and Audree, and Nat and Sean. I talked to Jonathan, about going back to Texas.

He was my commonsense that finally pushed me toward my decision. My mother was ecstatic to have me come home, and the boys were excited about it too. I was trying to be brave and not cry as I told everyone goodbye. Everyone except Alex.

I hadn’t been able to bring myself to tell him just yet, but with my things all packed and my freshly printed boarding pass on the table, I couldn’t put it off any longer. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair before turning and leaving Forever The Sickest Kids bus.

Kennedy was waiting for me outside, a small smile on his face. He wrapped his arm around my waist as we started to walk in silence. He guided me toward the stage All Time Low was playing on and then he stood by my side dutifully as we waited for the set to end.

I smiled faintly as I watched Alex walk around the stage and say stupid stuff with Jack. My heart throbbed. I was going to miss this, all of it. Even though I hated the drama that came with tour, I would miss being around all these boys all the time. I loved how they all made me laugh, and there was never a boring adventure with them.

I leaned my head on Kennedy’s shoulder and let him support most of my weight as they finished up their set. I still felt immensely weak out in this heat. Kennedy kisses the top of my head and squeezed my hip.

“This isn’t going to be the same without you, Daisy.”

“I know.” I frowned and tilted my head back some. “You better call me every day, and send tons of pictures so I can keep up with you guys.”

He laughed. “Pat’ll probably write you a three page email every day.”

“True.” I smiled and turned my attention back to the boys on stage. They were waving and walking toward our direction slowly. “I think I’m going to be sick.” I mumbled as my stomach flipped. Alex’s brown eyes brightened as he spotted me and he hurriedly pushed past Zack and Jack.

Kennedy rubbed my back soothingly. “You’re strong, Dais. You’ll be fine.”

He walked away a little as Alex approached, giving us space to talk. Alex grinned as he came over, not even noticing Kennedy, and wrapped me up in a hug. I giggled a little as I slid my arms around his neck and hugged his sweaty body.

“What are you doing here, Delly? You’re supposed to be resting on the buses. No sun for you, remember?” He tried being stern but he couldn’t get the smile to go away, therefore his tone turned mocking.

I swallowed hard. “I have something to tell you.”

“Yeah?” He furrowed his eyebrows together and looked around. That was when he noticed that everyone had grouped together about twenty feet away. It made him nervous. “What is it?” He asked cautiously as he brought his eyes back to mine. They were filled with concern and fear now.

“Well,” I stumbled for words. “M-my mom called the other day, when we left the hospital you know.” Discharging from the hospital felt like forever ago now.

“Mmhmm.” He bit his bottom lip and stared at me. I fidgeted and then sighed.

“She suggested that I go home, to recharge and all.” I blinked several times, wishing the tears would go away.

“Go to Texas?”

I nodded.

It was a long time before he spoke again. “When are you going?” He cleared his throat and when I glanced up I saw the façade he was putting up. He was trying to be strong and brave, just like I was.

“How’d you know I said yes?”

“It just kind of adds up.” He shrugged. “The news, the awkward glances everyone’s been giving me, the sad look on your face. It all makes sense.”

“I’m sorry.” I blurted, though I wasn’t completely sure what the apology was for. Apparently, neither did Alex.

He gave me a funny look and then smiled a little. “So when are you leaving?” I winced and dropped my gaze to our shoes again.

“Kennedy’s driving me to the airport after,” my throat swelled. “After I say goodbye.”

“Wow.” Alex ran his hands through his hair and sighed loudly. “That’s soon.” He tried to laugh, but it was absent of any actual humor. I kicked at the ground a little with my shoe until he lifted my chin up and made our eyes connect again. “I’ll miss you.”

My smile was melancholy. “I’ll miss you too.”

We stared at each other, stuck in that small moment. But it had to end because I had to leave. I shook my head to physically shake off the daze I was in. His hand dropped back to his side. “I think this is going to be a great opportunity to get that time—,” I was cut off by his lips pressing against mine.

My heart stuttered and started beating erratically. It had been too long since we’d been like this. His hands gently cradled my neck as mine rested on his chest. Our mouths moved together perfectly while the things around us just disappeared.

This was what I had been fighting for all along.

He pulled back first, resting his forehead on mine. We were both breathing heavy with our eyes still closed. “I love you, Adele.” My heart shattered.

I raised one hand to place it on top of his. “I love you too.” I buried my face in his neck and wrapped my arms around his middle, holding him tightly like I never wanted to let go. “I’ll come back to you, I promise.”

“When?”

We broke apart and he squeezed my hand. I was tearing up again and I had to walk away before I completely lost control. I stopped a few feet away and glanced over my shoulder at him. His hands were in his pockets and there was so much sorrow in his eyes and on his face. I raised my hand, palm outward, and smiled very slowly.

I turned around and went to Kennedy. I gave last minute hugs to all the guys and then we were on our way. I couldn’t hold it in once we got into the car though.

I left tour along with my friends and the love of my life.