Unrequited: A Series of Heartbreaks


“Hey Tre,” Kate opened the door and eyed me with a look I knew all too well. I held up a six-pack and grinned. This was the sign language of parties- grins, smirks, eyes and eyebrows, hands on shoulders…

I love being eighteen. Kate, the hostess and resident hottie, draped an arm around my neck and led me onto the dance floor with Billie Joe behind me, looking around for someone to dance with. Of course, he and his dance partner would end up dancing closer and closer as the night moved on and they’d end up making out somewhere. I can’t say my routine was much different from his.

The song changed to a slow ballad and Kate drew me close. She has the nicest perfume. It smells amazing. My hands moved down to the curves of her waist and our lips came closer when a group of her giggling friends decided that it was a prime moment to interrupt. I couldn’t hold back a sigh.

I ran into Billie Joe by the punch table. He’d found himself a dance partner but they hadn’t exactly been dancing, he told me. We toasted to a ‘lucky night’ before splitting again to find our girls. Kate was nowhere to be seen, but Lizzie offered me a dance. And hey, I’m not one to turn down a dance with a girl like Lizzie. All that soft, dark hair was begging to be in my hands.

Three songs and a heavenly lip locking session later, I spotted Billie Joe and his date giggling and kissing their way into one of the back rooms. Interesting things happened in the back rooms of Kate’s house. To be fair, she tried to keep random people from having sex in her house but it wasn’t a whole lot of use. Her parties were really kind of hard to control.

They always started with some kick-ass music and dancing. The refreshment table would be packed with pizza, chips, home made junk that people brought over, soda, and of course beer. But two or three hours later, the dancing turned into frenching, which either went on for the rest of the night with an occasional snack and dance or it ended up in the back rooms. Just like Billie Joe and that cute girl he’d snagged.

Lizzie was contentedly playing with my hair as we rested on a sofa before another dance when my curiosity peaked. I really wanted to check out what Billie Joe was doing with that girl. I excused myself with a kiss and went in search of the lover boy and his lover girl.

I finally found them in a room with a graffitied wooden door that was open just enough for me to peek. Billie Joe and his girl were attached to each other. I heard him moan. He used to moan like that for me. I heard him say some thing.

“Oh…” he said softly, “Mm…Nat…” I didn’t want to hear anymore. Somewhere deep down, I wanted him to say my name. It used to roll off his tongue in a sweet purr that started somewhere in his chest. It was just…my God, it was the most arousing thing ever and arouse me it did. I took one last peek at them before I knew I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I crept off to another room to, uh, conduct my business.

The room was hot; it was a fucking oven. Sweating, I took off my shirt and let myself collapse onto the floor. I’d barely undone my zipper when Kate walked on.

“Hey,” she smirked, looking down at my pants as she sat next to me. “Any chance I could help you with that?” I grinned. Who would refuse a chance like this? She didn’t sound drunk; what was the worst that could happen?

I slid my hands up her blouse as her mouth moved to my neck. Her legs pinned me down and she purred when my thumb found its way to a soft spot. Kate unbuttoned my jeans and let her fingers roam just above my stomach. I couldn’t bite back a moan. Encouraged, she threw off her blouse, allowing her tongue to dance with mine. This right here, this was release. There is a God.

Just as her hand slid down to where I wanted it to be, I made a mistake. I moaned. Well, duh, she did too. It was soft and sexy and-- God, it just made me want more. She bit down on her lip before her hand inched down just a bit more.

“God,” I breathed. “Oh, God…Billie Joe…” I froze, biting my tongue a second too late. I couldn’t help it. He—he was on my mind, not Kate. I knew it was stupid and very selfish, but…okay, I have no excuse. And Kate didn’t need one to do what she did next.

She pushed me off. Kate pushed me off and put her shirt back on before slapping me harder than I’d ever been slapped. “You stupid, sick freak!” she all but screamed. “This is what I’ve been waiting for? For the last one month, I have been following you around like a lovesick puppy and it turns out you’re just some low-class queer!” She was screaming now. I don’t blame her one bit. “You selfish, disgusting bastard!” Kate slapped me again before storming out.

Now, I had nothing. I was still horny, still rejected and my face had two red handprints on either side. Damn, Kate has a mean slap. But I knew I could suck it up, because I knew what I had to do next.

Billie Joe and this Nat girl were probably, you know, ‘finished’ by now. I could tell him. It was probably a bad night to tell him, but I would. I decided to march right up to him and tell him I still wanted to be with him and that would be that.

It didn’t happen.

I went to the room where I last saw them. It was quiet now. I looked inside through the crack in the door and saw them cuddling on a chair. Billie Joe was kissing her temple and Nat was quietly running her hands through Billie Joe’s satin-soft hair. It should have been me. I continued to watch silently.

“Billie Joe?” Nat asked, eyes wide with innocence and an infatuation I was all too familiar with.

“Yeah Natalie?” he kissed her temple again. I never thought anyone would break the heartbreaker’s heart, yet here I was, wishing I could die. It took me this long to realize it. I had to see Billie Joe with someone else to realize…I am such a fucking idiot.

“You’ll call me tomorrow, right Billie?” she snuggled against his chest. He toyed with the bottom of her skirt.

“Of course, baby. You want to get back to the party?” I’d seen enough. No matter what I said or needed or felt or wanted, it just didn’t matter.

Because Billie Joe didn’t.