My Heart Is Yours

Wednesday’s pov

So Max has been off in Japan for the last week. He called me the other night, pretty much telling me everything about how they were about to get on the plane to go to Australia. To be honest, I was missing him like mad. But for some reason, me missing him completely got thrown out the window with wedding preparations.

I mean, Max was over in other countries playing music and having fun. I was stuck in Vegas with my best friend and our daughters and trying to figure out every last detail for the wedding. Granted, it was only the first week of February and everything, but oh well. I still wanted to have as much done as I possibly could before it really got down to the wire and everything.

Max and I’s wedding was going to be pretty small, to be honest. Which was good, because we were just going to be getting married in Craig and Gab’s back yard. Oh, yeah, that’s also something that has changed in the months that I’ve been living in Vegas. Gab and Craig moved back up here. Which is fucking awesome, because it just makes everything easier…

The reason for us getting married in our best friends’ back yard? Mainly because of the fact that it was cheap, easy, and it wasn’t that big of a deal as renting a huge venue when we weren’t going to have a whole lot of people show up to begin with.

Our current guest list included Alex and every other boy from Mayday Parade and their dates. I guess Alex got himself a new girlfriend since I’ve been away from him. Which is reassuring to me… It’s good to know that he’s not completely alone while I’m here having the time of my life and really forming up my definite family. My dad and his new wife are coming, same with my mom and her boyfriend. Which should be interesting, but I guess my parents have always been fairly civil to one another… Max’s mom was going to be coming, and so were the boys of Escape the Fate and everything, of course. And then Tim and Craig’s friends, who had also become my friends through knowing Craig and Gab and visiting them and everything like that, from Arizona were coming up. Which would be cool…

So, honestly, it was a pretty small wedding with only twenty-eight people going to be there including Max and I. But I didn’t really care. I had my closest friends with me and then my family and that’s all I cared about. Fuck having people there that are “family friends” or who I haven’t talked to in ages.

And while Max was having his groomsmen be the rest of Escape the Fate and his brother Todd, I had Gab, Leila, and Lily in my half of the wedding party. And Robert’s girlfriend, Jessica, of course. Still, I kind of felt a little lame for not having more friends. Oh well. I was never the one to have a whole lot of friends or anything like that, so it worked out pretty damn perfectly, I guess…

Currently, I was with my mother, Gab, Jessica, Leila, Lily, and Max’s mom in a bridal gown store looking for, you guessed it, dresses.

And I was getting shoved into dress after dress to try and find which one would be the “one.” Who knew that dress shopping would be so damn difficult? Certainly not me…

“Alright, how do you feel about dress number six?” Yes, that’s right. I’ve been shoved in and out of six fucking dresses. If you couldn’t tell, I was getting a little annoyed at this point. And tired of shopping for a damn dress. I stared at myself in the mirror in front of me while the attendant that was working with me fussed around to make sure that everything was laying perfectly on the dress itself. I chewed on my lower lip, thinking about it for a bit before I nodded. This was actually definitely a dress that I liked. Unlike some of the others that Gab and the consultant had pulled out for me to try on…

The dress wasn’t bulky or heavy like any of the others that I’d tried on. And it was the first one that had a sleek a-line cut. Which worked well for me, apparently. The others I’d tried on had either been ball gowns or those mermaid-like dresses. Neither of which really looked good on me. The former made me look and feel like I was drowning in fabric and the latter was too complicated for me to walk and move around well in. That and I didn’t quite like how the latter looked on me, honestly.

As for the a-line cut? I was definitely totally loving it right now.

It was white, like pretty much every other wedding dress out there, and it had dark brown flowers embroidered around the bottom of the skirt and around the corset top. It hugged at my slender body in all the right places and it was just…well, amazing. For the first time since beginning this shopping trip, I was feeling like an actual bride. Which is what you’re supposed to feel, right?

The consultant pulled the ties on the corset tighter, causing me to straighten my back a little more as she finished it off with a small bow near the base of my spine. I looked at myself in the mirror, pursing my lips as I thought more about how the dress was…well, almost perfect. The consultant then moved around to fix the train, pulling it straight and splaying it around on the floor behind me.

I tilted my head a bit, smiling as my freshly-cut hair fell off my shoulder.

“Ready to show everyone?” she asked me, standing up and pulling me out of my thought process. I nodded, grinning at her and then feeling my heart race in my chest as I turned around, moving in the dress and across the fitting room to the door that she was holding open for me. I thanked her quietly, again, and began walking towards the area that my family and friends were sitting in.

I could feel myself flush with color already as I stepped onto the podium and faced my waiting audience.

“Oh yay!” Gab jeered, clapping her hands together and grinning at me as she leaned forward. I felt myself blush deeper as I saw my mom’s blue eyes start to water up.

“Mama, you look like a princess!” Lily observed, grinning from her position in between Mom and Leila, who were nodding in agreement.

I grinned, giggling slightly and looking down at what I could see of the dress currently. I felt really pretty in this dress, but I wouldn’t have gone as far as to say that I looked like a princess. Then again, I wasn’t a five year old, so I guess that kind of stopped with the princess thought process…

So it was then that the decision was made to get the dress and just stop looking at dresses that did absolutely nothing for me in any sense of the phrase. Lily and Leila then ran around looking for flower girl dresses for them. And yes, I was having two flower girls. I have a five year old and my best friend has a six year old that I can’t help but to include in everything. Can you blame me?

They confirmed on a pair of pretty white dresses that had a lace bordering on the different layers of fabric and a purple ribbon sash. Gab and I would need to get them shoes, but that wouldn’t be that big of a deal. The whole idea for today was to outfit my half of the wedding party with dresses. Shoes could be bothered with later.

As for Gab and Jessica, they went with a simple purple gown that was pretty basic, honestly. It was pretty, but pretty basic all the same. Loose fabric with a bunched up top separated from the skirt with a thick purple ribbon and then purple ribbon straps that made a halter-top for the dress.

Overall, it was a very successful shopping trip. Now to just finish everything figured out and I could relax for a while…maybe.

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One month later

Holy shit. Is it seriously March right now? Oh god… Shit. I’m getting married in three weeks! Fuckin’ crazy!

Honestly, I couldn’t have been more excited about it. I was glad that I’d finished all of the preparations for the wedding and everything like that by the end of the first week of March, before Max left again for Los Angeles to work on recording more of their album.

Another two weeks and he’d be home with me. And another three weeks and we’d be married and, officially, a family.

I had started becoming really anxious and restless in the times that Max wasn’t home with me. It wasn’t that I was paranoid or something that anything would happen that would end up fucking us up and splitting us for good, but I just…I don’t know. I just couldn’t sleep. In fact, that thought of him doing something to end our engagement and our life together hadn’t crossed my mind until now…

Ah shit…

Okay. Away from those thoughts!

I’ve got my dress all fitted and everything and it, along with the rest of the dresses for my bridesmaids and flower girls, are all living at Gabby’s house so that Max doesn’t find them and see them before the big day. Which is pretty damn important…

Other than that, life has been pretty damn uneventful…

Sort of.

The only real problem is the fact that I’ve been sick…and I don’t think I’m going to be getting better…