Princess

“I don’t see the problem.”

I stared at Owen, half in shock and half in disbelief. What did he say? How could he be so blasé after hearing that I was supposed to meet Sean Fuller this very Saturday.

“You could always get out of it,” he continued, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. I supposed it had been once, when I had lived in the same world as Owen Harrison but now, the right thing to do was no longer clear. “It’s not as though you’re obliged to meet Sean Fuller just because you’re going out with his son.”

I didn’t bother to explain to Owen that it was like that, simply because I didn’t know how to say ‘no’ to Dylan anymore. I remember that I used to be excellent at it, feeling little if any emotion when rejecting him because I had been under the impression that if he wanted to be stubborn, he could get hurt in the process. But now, I knew that I had been wrong.

Changing the topic slightly, I asked, “What happens if I do end up meeting Sean Fuller then? I mean, it’s not entirely impossible that I’d end up meeting him by accident.”

Owen’s eyes narrowed slightly but otherwise, there were no signs that he knew what exactly I was thinking. “I’d suggest that you get out of that room ASAP and get back here or to headquarters as fast as possible. Is there something I should know about?”

“You sound like my father.” I rolled my eyes and said this, in a joking matter.

Muttering something under his breath about how staying with me was starting to seriously age him, Owen turned away from me back to his calculus homework while I contemplated my next move.

To what extent was I willing to indulge Dylan? Was I actually going to risk my life just so he didn’t get disappointed? It’d been something foolish and the exact opposite of what I had been taught to do and I might’ve rebelled lately, forgetting what I was supposed to do with Dylan-gathering info-but had I really changed that much, to the point where I would completely forget everything I’d learnt about?

I didn’t think so.

If I wasn’t going to go to the Fullers’ house and if I truly wanted my freedom, there was only one way out for me.

But I didn’t want to choose that, though it didn’t matter anymore. It was not as if I had any choice to begin with. This few weeks had only been a beautiful illusion of what it could’ve been if I was a normal girl who had fallen for an extraordinary boy named Dylan Fuller.

It’d beyond time for this girl to wake up.
***
I saw Dylan at the spot where I’d said that I would meet him.

Mustering up my resolve and blinking back my unshed tears, I walked towards him. Pecking him lightly on the cheek, I pretended that everything was as it had been. “How was class?”

Dylan eyed me a little strangely, as though he had sensed that something was different about my kiss today. But it couldn’t be, I had practised so hard to try to seem as though I was perfectly fine. “Class was ok… Kellogg was boring as usual.”

I smiled then blinked and frowned, like I had suddenly remembered something. “Crap, I don’t think I can go meet your dad this weekend.”

“Why, Princess?” Was it just me or did Dylan sound a little suspicious?

My heart’s beat spiked but I gave away none of my anxiety, choosing to keep my eyes downcast and my expression apologetic. “I forgot that I had extra class with Mrs Pepper this weekend because I’d totally bombed the last Bio class.”

This had been true, I had failed my last test and Mrs Pepper had expressed her concern but she had not offered me an extra lesson. Dylan didn’t know the last part however but he had not looked as worried as I thought he would’ve been. Instead, he merely smiled slightly.

I blinked, heart rate slowing. He bought it?

“If you’re worried about the visit, it’s okay for you not to go.” He pulled me closer to him. “There’s no extra lesson because I know Mrs Pepper is leaving SITT this Friday. You don’t have to go this Saturday.”

I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes, feeling choked up.

Dylan didn’t know what was coming for him, what I was going to do to him and all the same, I was still going to do it to him no matter how much I felt for him. Because I couldn’t take it anymore, I really did not want to be part of the Agency and that meant that I had to give up something else instead.

And I chose to give Dylan Fuller up.

But why did it have to be so hard?

A few tears escaped from my eyes and for now, I allowed myself to continue to be vulnerable, to show Dylan Fuller one last time what I really felt for him before I had to give everything up.
***
“Who first broke your heart?” asked Dylan, toying with strands of my hair. I didn’t understand it but he loved playing with my hair though personally, I hated the short dark strands.

Surprised, I didn’t know what to say at first. I clarified, “Do you mean in the romantic sense or what?”
“Anything, it doesn’t matter.”
“Jeanne Ingrid.”
His fingers stilled for a second. But then he continued. “I would’ve thought that it would have been Owen Harrison.”

It was strange but I thought so at first as well but then I realised that it really was more Jeanne Ingrid that anyone else. I had been young and open to people before her and now, though I was still a teenager, I was no longer as innocent. “She was my first friend but then I found out that she...she wasn’t really a friend. She was just using me.”

“How do you know that?”

Dylan was only supposed to ask one question but I allowed him this one, because I needed to say it aloud. I never had. “There was stuff she could get to only through our friendship and after she got what she wanted, she left.”

“She could’ve regretted it, you know.”

I shrugged. I’d thought about it before, that even if Jeanne Ingrid had regretted it and wanted to make amends, she couldn’t have because I was still in the Agency and technically, untraceable. But then, I doubted that she ever thought about me. “It doesn’t matter if she had. All that matters is that she even did it in the first place.”

He went quiet and I realised what I had said. How ironic that I would condemn Jeanne Ingrid for doing what she needed to survive, to betray my trust in her, when I was about to do the same thing to Dylan Fuller.

But I hoped that he would be more forgiving.
***