Was I The Only One?

I was trying to concentrate on my shoot the night before, I washed my hair and pampered my skin but all the time I was thinking about what my mom and Denise had said to me and it frustrated me. It frustrated me because they’d achieved what they wanted too, they had me reviewing my options in life and what would be proper and right to do. I had more important things to worry about but I was thinking of Joe all the time.

When my alarm went off at 4am it took me a few seconds to get out of bed, I was pumped and ready to get going to the shoot. They wanted me for just the morning and wanted sunrise shots.

I was in my car and on my way by 4.30am so I wouldn’t be late. Once I arrived I was whisked to hair and make up…

Success.

The shoot went amazing, they got numerous shots they wanted to use. But, at one point it didn’t look like we were going to get them until one person came up with an idea; topless.

I was a bit awkward about it at first but it did look amazing, I covered myself with my arms and being topless gave the shot so much more edge; plus it showcased the jeans perfectly. I was nervous as to what my mom was going to say or what the Jonas family would think once it was in magazines and maybe on a billboard but I was excited about it. I finally felt like my life had a purpose, like I had something to do, which was true. I’d been following the boys around for so many years I never got to live out my dreams or do anything for myself because I was always helping them live out their dreams and making sure everything was going okay for them. Now I was doing something for me and something that I really enjoyed doing.

With my new found happiness I decided that a trip to meet Miley at pinkberry for some deliciousness on Sunset. Parking was quite simple apart from the paparazzi that were hovering around obviously with the knowledge that Miley would be here. They snapped away furiously at the sight of me.

“Are you and Miley friends again?” One pap shouted.

I laughed shaking my head. “You guys are funny.”

“What’s happening with you and Joe Jonas?” The same one asked, he had a video camera and not a still camera which explained the questions.

“Nothing is happening with me and Joe Jonas.” I answered, “Excuse me.” I pushed through the paparazzi and stepped inside.

It was pretty empty and I could smell the fruit and vanilla in the air making my taste buds tingle with anticipation, I resisted the urge to text Miley and simply waited it out. As soon as I heard the loud shouts and clicking of cameras I knew that Miley was on her way.

She pushed the door open with a heave and let out a ‘phew’ loudly. “They’re wild today, Julia!” She shouted.

I grinned and walked to hug her, the few people in the small place turned to look at her. “Now, I’m dying for this.”

“Me too.” Miley agreed.

We ordered out fruit and yoghurt filled delights then sat down opposite each other, “Mmm.”

“So, what did you do today?” She asked then placed a heap of food into her mouth.

I smiled, “Well, I did a photo shoot.” Her eye brows raised in surprise, “For Donna Karen…”

“Seriously?” She squeaked, “That’s amazing!”

“But, here’s the thing. I was doing the shoot and the frames were good, but they just weren’t amazing. Mike, the photographer, told me to just play around so I did. And I did this thing where I like pulled up my shirt and then he decided that was it and told me to take my shirt of.”

Miley grinned excitedly, “So you did a topless shoot?”

“Yeah, but they weren’t bouncing about freely, like I covered myself. But now I’m nervous because it could end up being a billboard if the execs like it.” I whispered, “My mom doesn’t know that I did it either.”

“The photo shoot or the strip tease?” Miley smirked.

I slapped her arm playfully. “Shut up.”

Miley and I finished our small get together then went our separate ways, my mom had called me wanting me to come home so I could tell her about the shoot. Miley had made me quite nervous to tell my mom that I’d done the shoot, that I’d hired an agent etc. She might react well or she might react badly. I spent the drive home pondering how to tell her, should I ease it into conversation? Should I just come right out and tell her?

My rational thoughts soon left my mind as I grew closer to my home to see Joe’s obnoxious Mercedes jeep parked on the curb. I had a strong urge to drive my car into the back of his, then into the side… then get out and smash his windows, key his car body, slash his tires…

I parked my car in its spot of our driveway, locked it and made my way inside of my own home. I shut the door loudly, letting my mother know I was home and I was pissed off.

“Julia, you’re home early.” I heard my mom’s shaking voice call from the kitchen.

I headed straight there to find exactly what I thought would be there. My mom, Denise and Joe all sat around the kitchen table. Once I’d glanced over the people in my home I tried to keep my eyes away from Joe, I strolled to the fridge and opened it hoping I could buy myself some time.

“How was the photo shoot?” The sound of Joe’s voice shocked me and made my heart flutter.

“None of your business.” I mumbled, reaching inside the cold box and pulling out a diet coke.

“Julia, don’t be rude.” My mom snapped, from behind me.

I shut the door and spun around on my heels to face her, “I thought I told you two to give up.” I snapped, sending a glare their way.

“Joseph is here to help me out actually, and don’t be so cheeky young lady.” My mom retorted back like a snapping turtle.

Without thinking, my eyes shot to look at Joe as his chair scraped across the floor. Though I kept up my hard exterior, looking at him made me want to cry and wrap my arms around him. He wore a grey shirt of which he pushed the sleeves up into the bend of his arm and a pair of dark wash jeans. Joe had let his scruff grow out some more and it suited him, a lot. It made me melt and flustered. The way his vulnerable eyes looked into mine and the way that they seemed to get more distant as my look never softened hurt my heart, but he’d hurt me more.

“I should… go.” Joe said.

“Yeah, you should.” I agreed with spite.

“Joseph, you don’t have to go anywhere. Would you please give me a minute with my daughter?”

I watched as Denise guided her son by the shoulders out of the room then closed the door quietly. “Something is wrong with you, you’re siding with the boy who cheated on your daughter.”

“It’s called forgiveness, you should try it instead of being so harsh about life.” My mother snapped, she didn’t shout either, just used her calm yet patronising tone that was worse than shouting. “Now, the Jonas’ are having a family meal tonight at The Palm to celebrate Nick’s album and we’re going.”

“I’m not.” I said simply, folding my arms over my chest.

“You’re going to support Nicholas if nothing else.” She was adamant.

“I’ve just come back off tour with him, I think I’ve showed my support!” I screeched, “You’re unbelievable.” I advanced towards the door, I pulled the door open then turned to her, “My shoot went great by the way, oh yeah, and I’ve hired and agent and I went topless for the shoot. I’ll see you at dinner.”

I slammed the kitchen door shut in rage. Without a second thought I sped outside to my car, I needed to get away from the house and from my mother. I felt like no one was on my side, I’d lost my two best friends, Nick had given up, my mom wasn’t on my side, everything in my life seemed so hectic and out of my control. I’d always feared not being in control of my own destiny and my own life, I needed to clear my thoughts.

So in order to do that, I got inside my car and drove.