Was I The Only One?

I’d managed to pull myself together and get dressed for the evening I was being forced to go to. I wore some pale blue skinny jeans with a grey sweater that had a spray paint style heart with an arrow through on it. I got some extra height from my black heels and wore a cute ring that was gold plated and in the shape of a piece of chocolate that had been bitten into. I shoved different things into my low hanging over the shoulder bag and set to doing my hair and make up. I wasn’t incredibly bothered about the way I looked so I just tied my hair back in a high ponytail and clipped my hair out the way of my face. I kept my make up minimal; just foundation, mascara and a streak of liquid eyeliner across my top eye lid.

“Julia, lets go.” My mom shouted from downstairs.

I rolled my eyes, grabbed my bag and went down the stairs. I ignored my mother, continuing my ‘I’m pissed with you’ streak, as I walked past. She just sighed and followed me out the house into the car that had been sent to take us to the restaurant. We sat in silence apart from when the driver would make small talk with my mom but other than that I made sure to make her as awkward as possible for forcing me to come out.

I frowned even more when we pulled up to flashing light bulbs that blinded me and fans waiting outside the restaurant. Big Rob was waiting at the doors and came out to open the door for us; I hopped out and offered a small smile for the cameras but walked straight inside, I saw spots for a few seconds so I stopped still and waited for my mom and Big Rob.

I followed Big Rob through the restaurant to a reserved section at the very back, I could see that the whole Jonas family were there making it extremely awkward to walk in on. Luckily for me I had been saved a seat between Danielle and Nick.

“Hey everyone.” I greeted courteously as I walked in.

As I approached my seat I placed my hand on the back, Nick stood up quickly to pull out my chair but out the corner of my eye I saw Joe half pushed up from the table to his feet. I sneakily watched him as he dropped back down into his seat looking slightly annoyed that Nick had gotten to my chair first. Nick pulled out my chair for me and I smiled thankfully.

“Thanks for coming.” Nick said to me with a smile, “So, how was your shoot?”

I grinned and began to rattle off all the things I had done and the comments I had been given about my photos. Nick listened to me intently, nodding his head and giving the occasional ‘yeah’ or ‘uh huh’ then once I was finished began to tell me about how he’d spent the day performing random acoustic sets around Los Angeles to whoever showed up. I was happy to get to chat to Nick, the whole situation had brought us together. I was itching to ask him what terms he was on with Joe but once we’d turned our conversation over to involve everyone else I quickly realised that Nick and Joe were on talking terms but still not in the best zone.

Joe was watching me when I ate, when I talked, when I moved. It was slightly nerve wracking and slightly annoying too. I hated when people watched me eat and he knew that yet he still did it. I distanced myself from the collective conversation only chipping in when they asked me a direct question but once they sense my hesitation they soon just left me to myself.

“Julia, we’re all going bowling after this. Coming?” Paul suggested.

I became panicky as everyone turned to look at me, feeling the pressure I nodded my head, “Sure.”

As soon as I had said I was coming I knew there was no way I was going to be able to get out of it. In order to avoid more conversation I pulled out my blackberry and loaded up twitter.

Juliharrr Out for dinner with the family. Steak = delicious.

Eventually we managed to get everything paid for and get prepared to head to bowling, the adults left the restaurant with Frankie then we would follow in another car with Big Rob. Danielle and Kevin would go first followed by Joe, Nick and then me.

We stood at the door behind Big Rob who peered around the door, “Do me a favour guys,” his deep voice bellowed, “do what I tell you to do.”

I smirked at Big Rob’s humor and followed the line as they began to walk into the flashing lights, a few fans were waiting but there were a lot of paparazzi so the boys just walked through. I felt guilty just walking past them so against the knowledge of the people in front of me I stopped and smiled at the group of girls who looked very disappointed.

“Hey guys, they can’t stop.” I told them sadly.

“Oh, that’s okay. Can we get a picture with you?” One girl asked.

I nodded and began to take pictures with them, I could feel the paparazzi surrounding me and it soon dawned on me that the boys were in the car and I wasn’t.

Before I left them I whispered to one girl in front of me, “We’re going bowling, if you go there you’ll get to meet them but don’t tell anyone who wasn’t waiting here.” I whispered, then I quickly scribbled down the location on the piece of paper in front of me.

“Oh my god, thank you so much!” She squeaked.

I turned from the fans towards the cameras and looked down immediately, the flashes were beginning to hurt my eyes. I started to walk forward blind in the hope I would get to the car.

I felt a familiar male hand grasp my own, I gripped onto it and looked up to see Joe’s back to me and his arm leading to the hand that was holding onto mine. My heart skipped a beat as he pulled me through the paparazzi with the help of Big Rob. I saw the black car with the door open. Joe let go of my hand and stood to the side as I climbed into the car and sat down on the front row of seats in the back behind the driver’s seat. Joe followed suit and sat down behind the passenger’s seat, much closer to me than I’d wished after such an awkward situation.

“You alright?” Nick asked from behind me.

“Yeah, fine.” I answered shakily, I wasn’t shaky from the paparazzi but from the feeling Joe’s skin against mine had given me.

I could still feel my nerves tingling against my palm, I clenched my fist and dug my nails into my palm to try and get rid of the sensation he had left behind. It frustrated me that he could still make that happen to me and that he had made me realise that no matter what I would always want him with me. The feeling he gave me was like no other and I craved it.

Nick, Kevin and Danielle were all having a conversation behind Joe and me. It felt appropriate for me to say something to Joe.

“Joe…” I whispered turning my head to look at him, he turned to look at me. I was momentarily dazed by his clean shaven face, I could see all the angles, curves and dips in his beautiful face and those glasses he’d recently started wearing were perched on his nose. I pulled myself together and cleared my throat, “Thank you, for helping me.”

Joe smiled back at me and nodded his head, “No problem.” His voice sent shivers through my spine.

I turned away from him and pulled out my blackberry in an attempt to distract myself for the rest of the journey. My mind was swirling with all sorts of things, so when we got to the bowling alley I just sat down and took my turn when it came around. It was fun to watch the boys have fun but I was too confused to bother to try and win. I never won anyway, bowling wasn’t my forte.

We were nearing the end of the first game and because of the long list of players there was a long wait between your bowls, so once I’d bowled my turn I grabbed my purse and headed to get a drink from small dining area. I bought some diet coke then wandered over towards the arcade games. I spotted a grabber and slotted some money into the machine, I moved the claw backwards and forwards, side to side. My eyes were focused on the shining metal as it swung above a stuffed animal, I hit the ‘DROP’ button and watched it lower down and clasp.

I didn’t win.

“Hey.”

I jumped with a sharp intake of breath, “Joe.” I breathed out, placing my hand on my chest, “You scared me.”

He smirked, “I noticed. Can we talk?” Joe questioned nervously scratching the back of his neck.

I nodded and grabbed my drink, I followed Joe to a small table. We sat down opposite each other, I folded my arms over my chest and sat slightly hunched as always. Joe laced his fingers together and leaned onto the table.

“What do you have to say then?” I sighed, waiting for him to talk.

“You have to believe me when I say I’m sorry. I know that I can’t take back what I did but, I want you back.” He admitted looking me dead in the eyes.

I narrowed my eyes, “You know, you’re beginning to sound like a song on repeat.”

“A good song?” He questioned playfully. I glared jokingly at him, “I remember, on the Burnin’ Up tour you told me that you over play songs to yourself then hear them again after a while and fall back in love with them.”

“Don’t turn my metaphor into a compliment, Joe.”

“Why won’t you give me another chance?” He asked with frustration.

“Because you haven’t shown me you deserve one.” I told him simply.

Joe stared at me in bewilderment as I grabbed my drink and walked back over to the group that were still bowling.