Was I The Only One?

I waited in Joe’s living room while he went and put some clothes on. Sitting on the sofa reminded me of when I stayed over, the memory brought a smile to my face without me even realising it. I shook my head, he was getting to me and he knew he was.

I thought that watching some TV would help. But I came across a show about a man who had suffered a severe case of memory loss. I watched as his daughter asked him a question and as he answered it, he’d already forgotten then question. The only person he remembered was his wife and every time he saw her, he thought it was the first time that he’d seen her in years.

A tear slid down my cheek. I couldn’t imagine how hard it must have be, to be stranded on a scrap of time for the whole of your life with no knowledge of any life before you, no concept of anything but now.

“What are you crying at?”

Joe’s voice made me gasp, I looked up at him; he was now dressed in a white v-neck shirt with a black cross on it and a pair of black jeans. “Oh, urm, just a sad thing on TV. He can’t remember anything that’s ever happened to him apart from his wife.”

Joe sat down next to me on the sofa and watched a little bit of the show to grasp what I was talking about. I watched carefully as his featured softened into pity and sadness while he watched the sad show unfold. The atmosphere began to become gloomy so I grabbed the remote and turned the TV off.

A long breath pushed through his plump lips. “Wow. Imagine not being able to hold onto the past long enough to even imagine a future.”

“I know.” I mumbled.

We sat in silence but I didn’t notice it. My mind was swamped with his words. I was lucky enough to be able to remember my past but I wasn’t imagining my future. I wasn’t bothering to live my life to the full. I was too busy dwelling in the past. And all of a sudden, the past didn’t seem like a wonderful place to be anymore.

I heard Joe wince and snapped from my thoughts, “What’s wrong?” I asked him.

“I’ve had bad stomach pains.” He told me.

Okay, my protective mode kicked in.

“How long for?” I questioned.

“Like, yesterday morning?”

I stood up, “Get your coat, we’re going to the doctors.”

Joe wasn’t too thrilled with the idea, especially when we had to wait for 30 minutes when we got there because we didn’t call up before hand. We sat next to each other awkwardly as people looked at us with staring eyes.

It felt like an eternity had passed by the time Doctor Adam poked his head into the waiting room and said, “Joseph Jonas.”

Joe stood up, “Coming?” He questioned, noticing I stayed seated. I grinned at him and he smiled and rolled his eyes, he only invited me because he knew I wanted to come.

I followed Joe, who followed the doctor into his small clean looking room. The doctor motioned for Joe to sit down on the long chair, it squeaked as he shuffled around making me want to laugh.

“So, Joseph, what appears to be them problem?” The doctor asked, clicking his pen and tearing a page of paper from his clipboard.

“Well, I’ve been having pains in my stomach for about a day and a bit now.” He explained.

“And where is the pain?”

Joe pulled up his t-shirt and ran his fingers around in a circle where the pain was, “Just around here.”

“Ah, and have you had any nausea or a fever?”

I watched as Joe rolled his shirt back down, “A bit of both.”

The doctor stood from his chair and hovered over Joe, I frowned; he’d blocked my view. From what I could tell the doctor was adding a slight bit of pressure to the area Joe had told him about and Joe was cringing in pain. I was worried now, Joe hadn’t told me that he’d been sick and felt feverish either.

“Okay, and you have some pain in your right hip correct?” Joe didn’t answer so I assumed he had nodded.

The doctor moved away from Joe bringing him back into my sight again. He dropped his head to the side and gave me a smile and a wink. I chuckled and shook my head.

“So, what appears to be the problem?” Joe asked, swivelling his legs so he was sat on the side sideways.

“Well, I fear you may have appendicitis.” I stared at Joe with wide eyes, “I’m going to call an ambulance to take you to the hospital where you’ll have a CT scan then if that comes out positive, which I’m quite sure it will, you’ll have to go into surgery and under go a laparoscopic procedure. This could become a serious surgery if we don’t act quickly so that’s why I’m getting an ambulance. Now, excuse me while I arrange paper work and co-ordinate with the Cedar Sinai medical center.”

I locked eyes with Joe across the room, my heart was pounding in my chest. He beckoned me over with a finger and a sensitive smile. I stood from my chair and walked over to him then sat down beside him. Joe wrapped an arm around my shoulders, I leaned gently onto him as I didn’t know whether it would hurt him or not. I felt him press his lips to my head, for a moment I closed my eyes and just felt his warmth.

“I’ll be fine.” He whispered.

“Joe, if your appendix bursts you could die.” I licked my lips and tried to resist the tears that burned my eyes, “I can’t lose you too.”

“Hey.” He said sharply, he tilted my head up and wiped the tears from my cheeks. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise you.”

“You can’t promise that.” I told him quietly. “You can’t.”

“God isn’t ready for me yet.” Joe smiled, carelessly. “I have too much left to live for.” He brushed some hair from my face, “Like my family, my music, my fans… you. I have to see you do lots of things, I have to watch you strut down a runway.” I chuckled, “I have to see you get married, have babies… I’m not ready and that’s how I know God won’t take me.”

“Mr Jonas, the ambulance is waiting outside. Would your…”

“Friend.” I filled in.

He smiled, “Like to follow behind in her car?”

“Yes, thank you.” I smiled back at him.

I walked with Joe outside to the ambulance, he climbed in the back with a male paramedic who talked to him nicely. “Call my mom?”

I nodded, “I’ll be following!” I called just as the doors shut.

In a blind panic I ran to my car, jumped inside and started the engine. I plugged my cell phone into my hands free set and put up my roof so Denise would be able to hear me. I dialled in Denise’s number and set off following the ambulance.

“Hello?”

“Hey Denise, it’s me. So I went to see Joe today and he told me he’s been having stomach pains for a while so I took him to the doctors being the paranoid person I am and the doctor says he thinks Joe has appendicitis.” I heard her gasp but continued, “He’s on his way to Cedar Sinai medical center now and I’m following them. He’s going to have a CT scan to confirm it is then he’ll go into surgery.”

“Oh my, okay, well, thanks for calling us sweetie we’re on our way.”

I ended the call and focused on following the ambulance, it weaved in and out of traffic easily but it wasn’t so easy to follow it without being abused by the other drivers. I couldn’t care less though, I was too worried about Joe. His parents would be at least 20 minutes coming from Toluca Lake and I was scared for him. It kind of comforted me because of how chilled out he was about it, but he acted like he knew what God’s plan was for him when he doesn’t, no one does.

I hurried to find a parking spot and then ran over to where the ambulance was. I feared that they’d take him in without me and I wouldn’t be with him, I needed to make sure that he was going to be okay. But when I reached the ambulance he was sat on the foot step up waiting for me.

He stood up, “We can go now.”

I walked over to him and he threw his arm over my shoulders. I felt bad because he was comforting me when he was the one who could possibly die if his appendix actually bursts. We were led through the halls, into lifts and finally Joe was taken for his CT scan while I sat outside and waited.

It wasn’t long. He wasn’t there for long. But it felt like an eternity that I was sat outside before a nurse came out to speak to me.

“Hello there Julia, it turns out he does indeed have appendicitis and we are preparing him for an emergency operation to remove the appendix. Joe told me you have told his family?” I nodded, “Okay, would you like to see him?”

“Yes, please.” I replied, standing from my seat I followed her into the room Joe was in.

I put on a smile when I saw him lying on a surgical bed with a hospital gown on. But he was still smiling for me. I walked over to him and without thinking pushed my fingers through his and squeezed his hand. He looked at our hands together with joy.

“You better not die, loser.” I joked holding back my tears.

He laughed too, “There like a 0.1 percent chance it’ll go wrong.”

I frowned, “Someone has to be that 0.1 percent though.”

“Stop being such a worry.”

I sighed. “I know, I over react.” I shrugged.

Joe looked at me with such hope that I couldn’t help but trust him. With my heart pounding and the blood rushing to my face I bent forward, I gently placed my hand on his face and smiled at how it fit perfectly. Then, I swept his hair back against his head and pressed my lips to his forehead, I could feel them tingling as I moved from his forehead to his nose. I grazed my lips down his nose to his left cheek then back over his nose to his other cheek. I pulled back from his cheek and look at his eyes as he looked at mine, I could feel the passion we felt for each other so strongly.

And without a hint of regret or shame, I dipped my head and pressed my lips against his in the sweetest more amazing kiss that gave me the biggest thrill rush and more power than anything else in the world ever could.

There was no one alive luckier than us.