Was I The Only One?

The first thing that hit me when I stepped inside the cool home was the music that was playing through the house’s sound system; Michael Buble’s new album was soothingly creating an atmosphere. Then I could smell the delicious scent of freshly baked chocolate chip muffins luring in the air from the kitchen, it invisibly snaked towards me and surrounded me in a delicious hug. Nick took my cardigan from me and hung it up inside the coat closet beside Frankie’s stuff, a coat fell from its hook but Nick just kicked in further into the closet and shut the door.

I raised my eye brow at him with a smirk, “Don’t tell my mom.”

Nick smiled at me with his crooked teeth and jerked his head towards the stairs. I followed him up the stairs, keeping as quiet as possible; if he was here there was no way I wanted him to know I was. Too complicated.

When Nick and I rounded the corridor to where his and Joe’s rooms were, Frankie stood with a Star Wars clone trooper outfit on, lightsaber included, in the middle of the corridor. Immediately my eyes widened. “Jul—”

As he began to shout my name I ran forward, picked him up and rushed him into Nick’s room.

“Frankie shhhhh!” I whispered harshly. I crouched down onto my knees and pulled off his mask, his face lit up and he launched his body onto mine tackling me to the floor.

I giggled as he rolled off me and grabbed my wrists, pulling me to my feet. “I’ve missed you! Why don’t you come around here anymore? Joe’s a plank, you should date me.” Frankie smiled with a wink.

I chuckled, “I’m only here to get Muffins.”

His face fell into a sad frown, “You’re taking Muffins?”

“He is my kitten, Frank.” I said with a smile. I placed my hands on my hips and glared down at him, “Have you been playing with my kitten?”

Frankie just nervously laughed and went to dash out the room, Nick grabbed the back of his costume. “Frankie, no telling Joe she’s here okay?”

“Okay.” He nodded, the two brothers bumped fists then Frankie sped from the room screaming ‘charge!’ with his lightsaber out in front of him.

I shook my head, “Insane child.”

Nick nodded in agreement. I watched as he wandered around his room, checking under his bed and in his walk in closet. “He’s not in here.”

“Let’s go look around… cautiously.” I sucked in a deep breath as Nick and I began to freely wander around the house and check for Muffins.

We searched the whole of the first floor and even the attic/secret lounge area before we came to the conclusion he must be downstairs. While we went downstairs we didn’t speak to each other, I hadn’t ran into any other Jonas apart from Frankie so far and I intended to keep it that way. I didn’t want to get back involved with their lives, but I knew Frankie would eventually spill the beans of my short trip here if I didn’t run into anyone else.

“I’m guess he’s in the basement with Elvis.” Nick sighed.

I stared at him, completely shocked. “Nick, of course he would be with Elvis, which would have been the best place to start.”

Nick just shrugged. I punched his arm and stormed off towards the basement, I peered down the stairs into the dark room, flicked the switch on and checked for anyone; thankfully no one was there. But my kitten was. Muffins was curled up on the sofa with Elvis looking very cute and much larger than I remember. I slowly climbed down the steps and headed over to the sofa, I smiled at the animals in slumber and went to regrettably wake up Muffins and take him home. I picked up Muffins and cradled him against me as he gradually woke up; kind of like a sleeping child.

“Julia!” Nick shout whispered, immediately I knew something was up. “Hide!”

I placed Muffins back down next to Elvis and rushed to hide behind the cupboard of DVDs. I crouched down and pulled my knees into my chest. My heart was racing against my chest so hard I bet you could even see it if you looked hard enough. I could hear his heavy footsteps coming down the wooden stairs, making them creak with each plod of his foot.

“You’re home, thanks for saying hi.” His voice made my stomach churn, in the most heart warming and head spinning way. “Is she… is she okay?”

Nick hesitated in answering, “Not really.” I covered my eyes and rubbed them, trying to stop the tears before they came. I could tell Nick wasn’t going to hold anything back just because I was in the room, “She’s lost quite a bit of weight, dark circles under the eyes, she’s just upset all the time.”

I wanted to shout at him, but I couldn’t. I could hardly even breathe.

Joe cleared his throat, “Did she say why she wasn’t answering any of my calls?” He asked quietly.

“Apparently she hasn’t been on the internet or turned on her phone.”

I was itching to peer over the cupboard and just capture one glance of him, I needed to know that he was okay and in one piece. I wasn’t used to not seeing him, I had the image of him broken in my head of the time I walked away from him and I wanted to get rid of it. I needed so desperately to see him smile. His smile was addictive and what calmed me.

While the two of them just stood not saying anything, I manoeuvred so I was on my knees and able to peer around the side of the cupboard to look at him.

The first thing that struck me was he had cut his hair off, just like he’d had it in the 2005 stage of Joe, but it wasn’t very neat at the moment; it was quite shaggy and greasy. He wore a creased grey v-neck that looked slept in and some black sweats, but I didn’t hover on his clothes or hair for long. His face and the emotions painted on it were what started a raging fire within my heart and a battle for breath in my throat and lungs.

He hadn’t shaved and had a major scruff going on all over his cheeks, chin and upper lip, he looked like a homeless man. Heavy bags weighed his eyes down which no longer held a glimmer of hope or happiness. His whole aurora held no life, he was just a body; he almost appeared soulless.

The hardest part of seeing him like this was knowing that I was the only thing that could make it all better. That maybe I held his soul.

Now I’d looked at him I couldn’t take my eyes off of him, there was no way I was going back to being completely hidden. I watched him sit down on the staircase and put his face into his hands, Nick took a seat next to him and put an arm around his shoulder. Nick glanced over to where he knew I was hiding and his eyes widened as he saw me, I diverted my gaze to the floor then looked back up hoping he wasn’t looking at me anymore; luckily he wasn’t.

Just as I thought I was as low as possible, Emma came down the stairs kicking me further down underground. She stood at the bottom of the staircase facing them.

“Joseph, you’ve got to pull yourself together.” Emma sighed, folding her arms over her stomach.

Joe shook his head, “How can I pull myself together when she’s half of me? She’s all I know Emma.”

“Then you shouldn’t be such a prick and throw her away like you did then should you?” Emma snapped. I actually did smile, she hadn’t changed one single bit. “You know what, I’m tired of every single Jonas being sad because of her, you guys, I know you all love her and so do I but seriously; this is insane.”

“Urm…” Nick chuckled nervously, oh no, he hadn’t told her. “I actually took her shopping today…”

“What!” Emma screeched, “Oh hell no. She’ll go out with you but won’t even answer the door to me?”

Nick smiled cautiously, “I went in while she was asleep and forced her, don’t stress it, she didn’t consent.”

Emma laughed, “That sentence sounded like you raped her.”

I could see Joe getting agitated about Emma’s attitude, his fists were clenched and his right foot was tapping against the wood; all the signs of Joe’s stress were there.

I almost gasped as he stood up sharply and sped up the stairs out of the way of Nick and Emma. I returned back to my foetal position and let a few tears stray down my cheeks at the new raw emotions I was feeling at the sight of him.