Be a Man

Billy walked into the house they had shared for two years. It seemed strangely empty without her there when he got home. The house was dark and cold, no one greeted him with a smile.

As he walked through the house he noticed how all her things were gone. She’d been planning on leaving for a while then if she had enough time to clear out. He slowly walked into the bedroom they had shared and laid down on what used to be her side of the bed.
He closed his eyes and tried to pretend he was asleep and that all this was a dream; tried to pretend that he never got that phone call from her that said she was not going to ever be there again; tried to pretend that she was still there.

He opened his eyes and turned on a light when he couldn’t pretend anymore. His eye caught the shine of the light bouncing off of something and he turned his head to the dresser to the left of the bed. On top stood the snow globe he had given her for Christmas one year. It had a ballerina inside that danced and played her favorite song to dance to when wound. He absentmindedly wound it and placed it back on the dresser and just watched it.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when the sudden sound of his cell phone ringing spread through the room. He pulled the tiny phone out of his pocket and looked at the caller ID. His heart pounded rapidly in his chest when he saw her name on the screen. He almost dropped it from trying to open it so fast as his hands shook.

“Hello?” he asked sounding a little out of breath.
“Billy I’m only calling to tell you that I’m having someone swing by tomorrow to pick up the painting I made. It’s in the basement. Do not touch it you hear me. I’m changing my number tomorrow so don’t call.” She said.
“Amber! Wait!” He desperately called. No answer came to him. She’d already hung up.

And so she dances in your crystal ball
The ballerina of the baby dolls
Under a spell you only call her name
Only her answer can undo your pain
Her swirling hand is like a magic wand
It's gonna hurt this time the fairy dust is gone

Billy walked back over to the bed and cried softly. Almost as soon as he hit the bed his phone rang again. He pulled it out of his pocket hoping it was her calling back. When he looked at the screen it wasn’t her name there but Benji’s. He was torn between two reactions; either throwing the phone against the wall in anger or answering it. He answered it even though he longed to see it shatter against the wall.

“Hello.” He answered in a monotonous tone.
“Hey man what’s up?” Benji asked.
“Nothing. I can’t talk right now alright.” Billy answered.
“Hey what’s wrong?” Benji asked sensing his friend’s depression.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Billy stated.
“Did something happen with Amber?” Benji asked knowing that the only thing that could really upset Billy was if something happened to Amber.
Billy hesitated and almost burst into sobs upon hearing Amber’s name. “…She’s gone Benji.”
“Gone?” He asked. “What do you mean gone?”
“She left and she’s never coming back. She cleared her shit out and called me to tell me she left.” Billy explained as new tears formed in his eyes and his voice became choked from the sudden tightening of his throat. “Can I go now?”
“Alright man, but don’t worry. You’ll be okay. Just be a man about it. It’ll be fine.” Benji assured him.

Billy hung up without responding.

Be a man
Don't let her do that to you
Be a man
Don't let her do that to you

Billy thought of the relationship he and Amber had shared. It was one that started off very strong, but by the end seemed to be winding down to nothing. He missed the first months they shared together. Always laughing, always going out, never apart. She’d gone with him to all the shows, she had never left him.

He thought about the last couple of months then and noticed the contrast. She was hardly ever there, they never went out, she was too busy to go with him to the shows, and she seemed to never be happy. She cried when she was around him and was never happy to see him. The only time she was ever happy at home was when one of her new friends called her, or when she was planning on going to a club with a few friends that night.

He thought it was odd how all her new friends were guys and how whenever she went to the club she never even so much as thought about asking Billy to go with her. He realized she was probably cheating on him. It would fit. What didn’t fit though, were his feelings. Even though now he was sure she was cheating on him, wouldn’t that make him less upset that she left? He thought it should. But it didn’t do anything but make him feel worse.

She's a bad girl gets to cry all day
The darkness is the only place that you play
The broken veins from all your wounds are raw
Your not the only boy that waits for her call

He cried for a while and just thought about what he could have done to make her leave him. When he came up with no logical reasons he sat up. He thought about what Benji had told him. “Be a man.” He said. Billy got up off the bed and walked towards the kitchen. “Be a man.” He thought over and over.

“Come on. Don’t let her do this to you.” He spoke out loud to himself. “Be a man.”

He reached the kitchen and made himself something to eat. When he sat down to eat it he realized he had to listen to Benji’s advice. It was the only thing he could do. She wasn’t going to come back. He had to move on.

Be a man
Don't let her do that to you
Be a man
Don't let her do that to you

Billy was a fast healer. By the time he’d finished making his meal he didn’t really care about how Amber left. If she didn’t love him anymore that was fine. If she wanted to go run off with some other guy that was fine too. He could find someone else in no time. Someone he could trust and who would love him as much as he loved her. He wasn’t going to let her get to him. He was being a man about it.

Oh well
She's on the dark side
She's on the dark side