My Way Home is Through You

MOLLY'S POV

I could feel my heart beating out of my chest as I curled myself into a ball one of the couches in the practice room. I heard each of the guys leaving a message, sounding more desperate than I had ever heard them, then I felt each of their gazes as they hung up. It was maddening. This was my fault. Frank was leaving My Chemical Romance and it was my fault. What if he and Gerard never spoke again? I'd never get another chance to prove myself to Frank. I'd never be able to call him 'Dad' or get a ride home from school or live with the only biological parent I had-

I felt sick to my stomach.

The band was going through a major crisis, and all I thought about was me. I shouldn't have been here in the first place. I vaguely heard Gerard as he left his message, his voice as if he were feet away. He almost sounded like he was going to cry.

“Frankie, I'm so sorry. I wouldn't have done this if I knew you would've reacted like this, but I really thought you would've been overjoyed to meet Molly. I really thought so. Please come back. We wont be My Chemical Romance without you.”

He hung up and we sat in silence. All of us. No one spoke, as if it meant we had to really face the reality of the situation. We must have sat there for at least twenty minutes. It felt like twenty hours. The room was so tense. I felt like I couldn't breathe. The air was so thick. I wanted to move. I wanted to go outside. I wanted to find Frank.

“I'm going to call him again,” Ray said, standing up and pulling his phone out of his pocket.

“No, I'll call him,” Gerard said, pulling out his own phone.

“I'm his fellow guitarist.”

“Well, I'm his best friend.”

“Seeing how he feels right now, I'm pretty sure he doesn't think you're his best friend. This is all your fault anyway, you dumb fuck!”

“Y'know what Ray? Why don't you shove your head up your-”

“Guys!”

My voice sounded almost like an explosion through their fighting. I found I was crying. I didn't want to be the sole reason the whole band was breaking up!

“This is my fault, I'll call him.”

Ray looked at me almost like I was gum on his shoe, but didn't put up a fight. Gerard dialed in Frank's number, then handed me the phone.

I was almost hoping that he wouldn't pick up. I kept telling myself that this was for the good of the band. I couldn't just let him wonder out there and blame Gerard for this. But I also wanted him to blame Gerard so I could pretend I was never here, and be shocked along with the rest of my friends when My Chem broke up. I knew I couldn't do that though. It would haunt me for the rest of my life.

“Listen, I don't care whatever the fuck you have to say. You went way over the line, and I'm not coming back. You hear me? This isn't fun-”

“I'm sorry, this is all my fault. Please come back, Frank.”

There was a moment of silence. I felt myself holding my breath. Please don't tell me he hung up.

“Who is this?”

“I'm Molly. The girl from the hospital.”

“The girl from the hospital.......”

“At least that's how Mikey put it.”'

There was a small laugh at the other end, but then it abruptly stopped. I could tell Frank just remembered he was supposed to be mad.

“Why are you on Gerard's phone?”

“I don't have your number, and if you didn't know the number you wouldn't have picked up anyway.”

There was a grunt of agreement.

“Look, I just wanted to talk to you and beg you to come back to the band.”

“Not going to happen.”

“Would you at least listen to my reasoning?”

Another pause, this time thoughtful. Finally there was a loud sigh. “Fine.”

My heart sped up. How was I going to explain this search to him? It was terrifying.

“Well, this all sort of started at the hospital. It's not like I never WONDERED about my birth parents before then, but after the hospital everything became extremely clear and focused.”

“What exactly happened at the hospital?” I could've laughed. He really didn't know, did he?

“That was the day I first saw you face to face. If you ever gave me more than a glancing look you would realize that we really do look alike. My friends are constantly telling me that, and until that day I just shrugged it off. We have the same smile, the same laugh.”

“A lot of people look like me. I'm not convinced.”

“Well then, how do you explain the birthday? Your Kayla and I have the exact same birthday. Or the fact that you were thirteen when I was conceived, and I'm thirteen years younger than you are?”

“Coincidence.”

“Have you ever asked the girl? I mean, since that day? All I had was the name of my mother, and the agency was convinced that it was a fake name. Jessica Bennett. That was all I had!”

There was silence. For some reason I felt like this was big, this silence. I had hit something. I had made him understand!

“I have to make a call.”

“Yeah, okay. I'll be on Gerard's cell if you want to talk again.” The soft click on the phone told me he hung up. No good bye. Something must really be eating at him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FRANK'S POV

Jessica Bennett. This girl– Molly? –mentioned Jess. No one really knew Jess's name. I never told Gerard her name.

I was scared. This wasn't happening. I needed to call her. To talk to her. I needed to hear her tell me this was a lie. My fingers were a flash across the keys as I pulled up Jess's number, updated only last week with her new number.

Pick up. Come on, pick up.

“Frank, what do you want? I'm in the middle of something.”

“Did Kayla really die?”

“What? Yes, she really died. Don't ask stupid questions.”

“You sure? Because I met this girl today who has Kayla's exact birthday, and your name is on her adoption agency's database.”

Silence. Oh God, please tell me that this is a lie. I had already been crying, I didn't want to start all over again.

“Frank, I never meant for you to find out about this.”

A dry sob choked me for a moment. There was a long period of silence. She apparently didn't know what to say. I was too lost in sadness to speak. Slowly the sadness gave way to anger. I was ticked. I was fucking pissed! Jess, the one person who I trusted with someone who was the largest part of my life, had lied to me!

“Why? Why did you give her up?”

“I- Frank- I was scared! Come on, I was sixteen! You were thirteen! I didn't know anything about raising a kid!”

“Neither did I, but that was the point! Raising her TOGETHER!”

There was a pause, then a murmur of an answer.

“What was that?”

“I never really wanted her in the first place...”

The anger swelled again. I couldn't believe this!

“Then you could've given her to me!”

“No I couldn't have! You would've dropped out of school!”

“At least she would've grown up with her biological father, and not some stranger!”

“Frank-”

I didn't want to hear anymore. I hung up on Jess. I hung up on the one person that I thought shared the same emptiness I had over the loss of Kayla.

Molly. That was her name now.

She would still always be my Kayla.

And I wouldn't leave her alone ever again.