I know Heroes and Thieves; but who's who?

“This is where you will be residing during your semesters here.” I entered a dorm room and in desperation of easiness, quickly dropped the loads of luggage that I had right next to the door.

“Unfortunately you have no roommate due to the lack of acceptations here but I hope you don’t mind residing alone” The schools’ Matron continued speaking very piously. She was a very tall and slim lady who possessed a very intimidating aura all around her that could easily cause anyone to immediately fear her but I ignored that as I nodded to show that I didn’t mind staying alone.

That’s what I was any ways... Very alone

“Well then, well done for getting into Christian Collins Academy and I hope you realise how lucky you are young lady, many young artists would kill for this opportunity to be here so don’t waste it...” I repeated my action from before and nodded. She seemed satisfied as she shrugged her shoulders and then walked to the door, turning around as she was about to exit

“Oh, you must come to the Welcoming assembly this evening Miss Cain. You will be introduced to you’re teachers and made familiar with what you will be doing for the next two years”

“Thank you Miss...” I said, speaking for the first time to her. She looked so surprised and shocked that I almost smiled but... I just couldn’t.

“Okay then. Make sure you do not be late or not present”

She left before I could even answer, leaving me to an empty dormitory room. I walked around taking in all my surroundings and looking at every detail of the room. It was an acceptably big room with clean cream white walls and one window just across the room, probably with a view of the quiet street where this prestigious school is located. The room itself was very big for just me alone. There were two single beds separated by a study table and chair. It was quite cosy and cute but it had no feeling of home.

No place I had ever been ever had a feeling of home so I wasn’t taken back by this empty feeling this room gave me. I was very familiar with this

I looked for a space, a personal space where I would found peace to paint. That was just the way I was. I just needed a comfort zone where I would shut myself way from the world that had no appeal to me whatsoever – except for the beauty of nature of-course
I searched for a space with a comfortable aura, I just could find it. I searched the room through but nothing.

Every place was just as cold and unwelcoming as the other.

I finally gave up and fell back on the closest bed. I landed with soft thud on the bed and I closed my eyes and thought of all I had been through. I didn’t want to but I couldn’t help it. It always caught up with me and repeated in my head again and again like a bad television movie.

I didn’t want to know that I had been disowned but my name always reminded me. It reminded me of the person I was, and the person that I was being forced to be. I didn’t like both those people, they were weak, spineless and had nor faith in themselves and I didn’t want to remember that of myself. I didn’t want to remember that I had been cast out of my own home but my broken heart screamed it too loudly to ignore.

But even through that pain, there was a small comforting light of being in a content state of mind. I had been disowned by my own father, my flesh and my blood... But it really didn’t feel as bad as one would imagine.

Frankly, I had never felt this much sense of recovery and liberation. I almost felt... happy. I wasn’t there yet, but I was getting closer with each independent decision I made.
Right now, I was lying alone in a dorm room that I was grateful not to be sharing with anyone because of the bad company that I am. I was all on my own but I didn’t feel as lonely as I usually felt around crowds of people.

I was glad that I had taken this chance. I still couldn’t quite believe that I had stood up to my father and demanded my own freedom of choice. I could still hear the whole conversation clearly even though it had happened 2 weeks ago..,
________________
“Dad, I need to talk to you” I said, standing nervously in the middle of his office door. Marcus Cain, my father, looked up from the laptop that was on his study desk. And then sighed impatiently and took of his glasses to look at me

“What can I do for you, my little Kelli?” This man really had no idea that I was not little anymore, did he? To him I was still flipping five years old!

I walked into the office to sit opposite him.

“Dad, I know that you said that I was going to oxford and everything but...”

He then cut me off saying “Honey, there is no but in this situation. In two weeks you will be starting first year in Oxford University and basically it’s as simple as that”

“No dad! It’s not as simple as that!” I was losing it now but I had been keeping it in for years and now I had had just about enough of this

“I don’t want to go to Oxford dad! I want to go to Art Academy. I want to be an artist and I was good enough to be accepted at the most prestigious Artistry school in the whole country dad” I saw my dad stand up fill with a strange and unfamiliar rage.

“What are you talking about Kelsi?I don’t know anything about no stupid art school! Are you crazy child? Art is not practical, you can’t live on art you hear me? What mone will you make by doing ‘art’ eh”

Dad, It’s not about money! I want to do something I love; I don’t want to do something because of what it pays me.

“Not about money? NOT ABOUT MONEY? That’s just plain insanity”

“No dad isn’t, and I’m not crazy. I’m just not cut out for being a lawyer or a CEO or anything like that. That’s not me dad and if you spent more that an hour with me, you would know that!” I was so close to tears right now.

Both my angry father and I were on our feet at this point and that’s where things started to go wrong!

“Kelsinne, you will not use that tone of voice with me! Where is your respect?! I am your father and you will not talk to me that way!” He took in a deep breath and then calmly said “You are just going through a bad stage, I understand that, but in two weeks time, you are going to Oxford and you will have to leave this childish art nonsense alone! You have no future in painting Kelsinne and even you must be smart enough to understand that. Now,
you can be excused to your room”

Okay now I was upset. If I thought I was upset before, now I was feeling ten times worse

“No, no , no! I don’t want to be excused father” I said, my voice filled with venom and anger that almost matched his earlier “I want to be free to choose what I want, not to have my whole life planned for me and then to just receive the instructions and manual! I want to choose who I become friends with dad; I want to choose what studies I will take, for heavens sake I want to choose who to date! Not you dad... Me! Its my life, why wont you let me live it?”
“Shut up Kelsi! Keep shut right now, young lady!”

“No dad. Not this time. I have been keeping shut for my whole damn life and now I’m TIRED! I just want my freedom dad. I want to be like every other teenager. I want to choose what I wear for myself, I want to choose what I eat for myself... I just want my freedom of choice dad. You can dictate Damon and Kyshia all you want. They seem to like that but I don’t dad! I hate being told what to do everyday of my life and then being shoved with stupid material luxurious in an attempt to make me ‘happy!’ Well, I’m not happy dad! I’m not... But you probably don’t care do you? As long as you’re content in life you expect everyone else to be, don’t you dad?”

My dad suddenly furiously banged his hand on his desk. He was breathing so hard and loudly that I just knew I had pushed it. I had gone over the ‘Marcus Cain’ border of boundaries.

“You want freedom Kelsi? Is that what you want?” He sounded so bitter that I was even afraid to answer but I still managed to give a small nod “Well you have that freedom now! Go pack your things and get out of my house! You ungrateful, unrespectable little devil child! Get away from my face. I never want to see your ungrateful face again!”

I couldn’t move. I was just so dumbstruck, I just couldn’t do anything rather than staring at the man I had known as my father with a blank look on my face and tears in my eyes.
“Go! You’re the one who wants their freedom, do you? Well go then! You’ve got that damned freedom now, let’s see how you like it. ”

I swallowed forcefully and told my feet to move. They very much ignored me until I tried again and then turned to walk away.
“And never come back here again you ungrateful child! Never come back!” I heard even as I walked slowly up the stairs.

I saw the maids scrambling around quickly as I was walking by, which meant they had heard everything. I didn’t even care...

I was now disowned, unwanted by my one and only parent and source of survival.
But then again, I was now free...

I was free to do whatever I want to, free to go wherever I chose, free to go to the school of my choice!

I had done what had seemed like an impossibility just a few days go.
I had gotten my freedom...
___________

I quickly snapped my eyes open. There was no time to think of the past now, it was over and done with and I had no intentions to rake it up again.
Even with a name that had been taken away from was painful but soon I would learn to live with it.

I looked around the open room. It was so simple. I had to add some taste to it. Maybe add a bit of me... But I mustn’t become too committed. I must remember that I have no home, this place cannot be my home.

I stood up to look at my designer suitcases. It had been chosen and bought for me by Lindsay, my fashion stylist- who was employed by my father to control everything I wear- and my sister who had been out shopping, like always, and then had suddenly gotten the urge to just buy me flipping suitcases!..

There was a huge one that had most of the clothes I had managed to quickly pack and all my random shoes. The second biggest was the most valuable because it contained all my paintings, sketches and art stationeries. I had gotten most art material from my sister Kyshia, who was the only one in my family who seemed to even be remotely interested in what another person, beside her, likes.

She wasn’t the most independent person.

I even think she was glad that father dictated her because she thinks she wouldn’t be able to do anything for herself. But that’s just the influence of the devil I call my father.

He had practically tried to brainwash my sister, brother and me into believing that we were all nothing without him and that he only does what is best for us, when he and I most definitely know that this is not the case. Unfortunately my sister and brother were too ignorant to realise that too.

I walked to my suitcases that had been dropped by the door when I had arrived in the room with the matron, whose name was apparently Miss Quinn if I had read her school-pass correctly.

I bent down to where all my suite cases were. I opened the suitcase with my paintings and drawings. They were all in a plastic case for protection but some pieces that were on A3 paper were now a bit crumpled because of how long they had been in there. I took them out one by one and studied all of them carefully, seeing my mistakes and my good points. I still couldn’t believe I had been good enough to get in this school.

Being here was all I had ever wanted to do ever since I heard about it. It had been a normally boring Thursday morning and like always, I had my home tutor Mr Lockhart who was incidentally late that morning because he had had to go to some offices in California to get application for his daughter who wanted to go to art school.

In the middle of the lesson, he dropped a brochure and like fate, I found it after he had left. That was the moment that I will never forget. Somehow, from just reading that brochure, I instantly became obsessed with knowing everything about this very perfect school.
I did a bit of research on it and fell in love with all it stood for. It was a breaking ground. It produced art in all its forms, from Performing arts to Musical arts, from graphic designing to fashion designing and from Painting to Writing literature.

It was for every type of artists.., and that deeply intrigued me. I wanted to be a part of that. I wanted to be part of the community and culture. I felt drawn to this place even from miles away.
But I knew that I was to be either a lawyer or marry some rich business man who my father saw suitable.

I basically didn’t have a chance to even be here. I didn’t even have a choice.
Still, that didn’t stop me from calling Mr Lockhart and asking him to please give me a form for there. He was the one who had always said I should peruse my art because I was talented so it wasn’t hard convincing him that my dad was okay with it and had allowed me to go there.
The very next day, he brought me the forms, telling me that he was sure I would get accepted and maybe his and I daughter could become friends.

How I envied his daughter. She had the freedom and unconditional love from her dad to be anything she wanted to be. She had the full support. Why couldn’t I have that?
When all my classes were over, I went to my room, locked my door and stared at the form that was on my bed. I paced back and forth, up and down, and all over the place.

I wanted to fill it in but I was afraid of the consequences. What if I got accepted? What would happen then? Or what if I was rejected? How would I feel then?

I was slowly loosing my mind with every pace I paced and every thought I thought.
After hours and hours of arguing with myself, I had made up my mind. I was gonna do this. I would forget about the consequences for now, I would just do it.
And I actually did.

I did...

And boy was I insane

But that was all history now. I was here at Christian Collins Academy and I was here to stay. I would learn to become a great artist and I’d get my dreams.
This was where I was gonna find myself. This was where I was gonna stop being Kelsi Cain and become who my mother named me to be:

Kelsinne Liberty Cain.

***
If there’s tomorrow then there’s hope
Get ready and prepare for your freedom