Carry On Home, I'll Be Waiting Miles & Miles Away

FOUR YEARS LATER

I stepped out of the airport in to the familiar Baltimore air. I looked around toting my navy luggage, I quickly tucked a loose strand of my cropped hair behind my ear and scanned the crowds for my two best friends, finally I spotted a woman with long cascading dark red hair wearing a black dress and flats holding hands with a guy with gelled up black hair, wearing a loose t-shirt and skinny jeans, he had an earring glistening in one ear and bright red, yellow and blue dunks on his feet. Both were smiling cutely and looking like a couple leaning against an obnoxious yellow Lexus I would recognize anywhere. I smiled and attempted to blend in walking towards them.

"Ah! Leia freaking Roderick!" Raine called out excitedly running up and hugging me. I suppose I was taller than usual with black pumps on my feet, with skinny jeans, a leather jacked and a loose striped shirt she scanned me up and down. "You look like something out a fashion magazine!" I blushed lightly and she pressed my cheeks.

"You are so pale! Have you been living in a cave?" she asked beginning to berate me with questions, I escaped her grasp and ran into Jack's arms who hugged me tightly, rubbing my back.

"You look good, you know for a woman who isn't my future wife," he smiled over my shoulder to see a giddy Raine holding out her left hand with a moderately sized diamond ring.

"Oh, Raine! It's gorgeous!" I gushed, she shrugged agreeing but I could tell from her eyes that she loved it.

"Well, we'll be living in a small, dinky apartment for the next couple of years because of it, but at least we'll look rich," she laughed. I was surprised by the success of All Time Low's latest record that they didn't have more money. Girls threw their bras on stage and they were selling out shows, but still Jack and Raine lived in an apartment building behind a shopping center, they never complained though.

"I'm excited!" I jumped up and down with Raine as she cried out 'I'm getting married tomorrow!'. She had sent me my bride's maid dress. I waited for the last possible moment to come back home. I hadn't been here since I left in 2006, I had recently gotten an internship with MTV and now was interviewing random bands. I avoided All Time Low, and made another intern switch with me when I was assigned to them. Alex looked happened, unchanged still immaturely joking with Jack on stage writing songs about girls. I could never tell if he wrote one about me, they were de-personalized. Mostly I tried to keep him out of my mind.

Raine and I didn't see each other half as much as I wanted to, she went to an art school in Baltimore, and had opened up a photography business, even traveled with them to Warped Tour, photographing them. I laughed as she shuffled me into the car and we drove to my house. I felt bad but I hadn't been home, but my parents stopped by when I was still in Chicago every so often. Raine kissed my cheek before I climbed out of the car and retrieved my bags from the trunk.

The air was beginning to cool for autumn's arrival. I waved and yelled Thanks before hiking up my enormous driveway. I rang the doorbell and a rush of kids came bubbling to the door.

"Auntie Lee!" a pack of red-headed children, the oldest four progressively younger to the one-year-old holding on to my brother's wife.

"Hey guys!" I said bringing my bags inside. I kissed the three that could walk on the head before hugging Linda, my sister-in-law, "Hey, how are you doing?!"

"Good, everyone's excited to see you, come on guys," She rounded up the three hyperactive. All three of them ran into the kitchen and tackled the couch. I laughed following her in. George stood up, he had aged so much I guess having four kids in four years will do that to you. I hugged him and teased him about his beard.

"Arg, Captain Redbush!" I played with his ginger scruff matching his now graying hair. I set my bag on the counter and hugged my mother and father who scorned me for not coming home last Christmas. Holden was holding on to his fiancee's hand and waved at me. He had grown his hair out, which I assume he would have to cut since he was in law school.

"Brent is still down in Austin," my mother explained when I didn't see my younger brother. The house was busy and full. He was sophomore at the University of Texas.

"Holden, carry your sister's bags up to her room," my father ordered, enveloping me in his arms and kissing my head. "Glad you're home sweetheart."
I climbed up the stairs to my room, looking at how it was exactly as I left it. I smiled as Holden grunted lowering my suitcase down.

"You should try traveling light sometime," He laughed hugging me.

"Why when I have strapping me who can carry everything around for me?" I smiled and he laughed leaving the room. Suddenly I felt exhausted, maybe it was flight or maybe it was being home, but I crashed.

"Ready, set, ATTACK!" I heard someone yell, I opened my eyes to see Hayden, Hayley and Harry racing towards me, I groaned laughing when they all started tickling my sides.

"Wake up Autie Lee! Wake up!" they cried I nodded and slowly sat up simply to make them stop.

"You are such a doodie-face," I laughed making my insult kid appropriate, Raine was grinning and already dressed in button-down shirt and jean shorts.

"You are such a grandma! Still!" She called out before the kids ran out the room after being called by their dad, ",but not none of that matters, because that's about you and today's about me!" She danced around. I laughed, nodded she pushed me into my bathroom and after a quick shower I came out dressed in a button-down plaid shirt and skinny jeans, opened my bag and grabbed my maid of honor dress. We raced down the stairs like kids again and ran out to her car, not saying goodbye to anyone.

I jumped in the car and saw a brunette I had never met before and Josephine and old friend from high school. I hugged Josephine from the front seat and stuck my hand out to the brunette.

"Hi, I'm Leia," I said smiling graciously. I had no makeup on, wet hair and an old ratty shirt but I was still excited to meet her.

"Yeah, I've heard a lot about you, I'm Kara, Rian's girlfriend," She said shaking my hand. I worried about what she had heard, but then realized she meant from Raine.

"Well, pleasure," I said happily, the ride to the church was short. I laughed as we passed the cafe, Raine and I used to work at. We pulled in and I laughed, Kara was hilarious and had a spot on Sarah Silverman impression.

"So, I almost died when I saw your interview with Demi Lovato!" Josephine cracked up, she was petite so she had to struggle to keep her dress from dragging on the ground. Her curly blonde hair was already pinned up elegantly with makeup that made her light blue eyes seem glowing. I looked to Kara who had straightened her hair and already had makeup on as well.

"Oh, well I'm glad, my producer scolded me for like five minutes afterward," I said laughing.

"No, the look on you face when she pulled out her phone in the interview, I swear I almost peed my pants. Ugh, what did you say?" Josephine laughed trying to remember as we entered the church.

"Well, I'm glad the youth today who look up to you can go blind from staring at their phones and then Santa Clause can finally give them good old fashioned presents without them whining about Hannah Montana, a new laptop and giving out blow jobs at the age of twelve" Josephine recanted with Kara while they were cracking up. I sense Raine was getting slightly annoyed so I caught with her and hooked arms.

"You're getting married," I chanted. We made our way to the room designated for the bridal party to get ready in. A very, very gay man came in to our hair and makeup, but Raine's mother was busy bossing everyone around to dote on her daughter. We all changed into our dressed. I slid into the lacy, sea green dress with lace accents. The other bridesmaids had plain dresses without the color but we all had gray shoes. Raine had a perfect, lacy mermaid fit dress that fit her curves perfectly. Underneath however, she wore studded black heels, I laughed and she defended herself,

"What I gotta keep something myself," she smiled. I nodded and chuckled lightly as her mother came in very frantically calling us to come down. We lined up behind big wooden doors where Raine's slightly sunburned father. Waited for us, he seemed anxious that things would go okay, reminding her of how to step, the wedding coordinator handed us white bouquets and Raine a large pink one. I laughed as she asked if they could just start. Finally the music began and Kara and Jack's little cousin (the flower girl) started out, creeping through the door, Josephine counted to four and then did the same, I quickly kissed Raine on the cheek and then counted to four before crossing the threshold, I heard a soft murmur through the pews filled with people who waved at me. I smiled at my family, and kept my composure when I saw Alex standing by Jack's side. There was of course, Rian and Zack who smiled at me. I mouthed 'hi' and they waved, I finally reached the aisle and then the music changed to the wedding song. Both doors flew open and Raine walked through with her father, a veil lightly shading her face. Jack's eyes softened with love and he smiled eagerly to start his life with her.

Her father kissed her cheek and shook Jack's hand and he lead her up to the top where a preacher was waiting she handed me her bouquet and smiled eagerly at me biting her tongue. I laughed softly and the preacher began.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join two young people in holy matrimony. Love is not something found easily today, but when it is you must clutch on to it with all your strength not releasing it until your grip be taken by death," he had a wonderful preaching voice. He continued on, but I lost concentration when I felt Alex's eyes on me, but I kept looking at them, smiling.

"So, Jack Barakat, do you take Stella Williams, to be your lawfully wedded wife until death do you part?" He asked. Jack nodded happily and said,

"I do," with an amazing confidence.

"Stella Williams, do you take Jack Barakat to be your lawfully wedded husband until death do you part?" He asked again, she chuckled lightly and said "I Do," like a middle school girl saying yes to an invite to the dance.

"Then I now pronounce you husband and wife," She grinned and jumped excitedly, "you may now kiss the bride." Jack lifted up her veil and kissed her, before dipping her and kissing her deeper. I laughed and the crowd seemed like football game wooping and cheering along. I laughed as they walked out, Alex and I linked arms and made our way out.

"Hi," he muttered to me, I ignored him and smiled at all the crowd throwing rice, I felt something hit my eye and began tearing up.

"Uh, shit!" I let go wiping my eye as we climbed into the limo to the reception. Jack popped the champagne and poured us all drinks, when we got out everyone stumbled out and I felt someone grab me by my elbow, I saw the beautiful patio with white christmas lights lacing the walls around a dining area and lights covering the dance floor. I didn't have to look up, I knew who it was.

"Leia, I never stopped thinking about you," Alex said gushed out quickly I grabbed my elbow back and looked up into his eyes.

"I stopped thinking of you," I lied and crossed my arms and looked at guests who began coming, Alex pulled me around the corner.

"Leia, I love you, everything the preacher said, you know its true. I love you, and I won't let you go," Alex said pulling me into an embrace. I remained silent listening to his heart beat through his chest, his soft breaths of hair calming down blowing my hair gently. I pulled away from him softly and looked him square in the eye.

"Alex, this would only be relevant if I loved you, which I don't. I forgot about you and Baltimore," I lied, keeping my voice steady and low. I saw his heart break in his eyes. I'd lost my faith in love and Alex Gaskarth. As much as my lips yearned for his and I wanted to be able to trust him, love him and marry him some day. I brushed past him and joined the beginnings of the festivities. Everything I am today, a cynical girl who decided on a career and settled on someone I didn't love, was someone Alex Gaskarth created every time he hurt me. This was just what was coming back around for him.

Ain't karma a bitch.