No Place in My Heart for a Criminal Like You

I woke up with an unpleasant start. I was aggressively kicked out of bed and then a black dress was thrown at my face. It wouldn’t have been so bad if the dress didn’t have a zipper on it. Unfortunately it did and the zip clipped my lip and bust it open. Obviously you already know who did it. I didn’t even have to take the dress from off my face to see who it was. When he had noticed that my lip was bleeding he muttered an insincere apology almost giggling and then ordered me to get dressed. The dress wasn’t too bad. The bottom was slightly poufy and it had thin spaghetti straps. It ended just above the knees.

As I was dressing I wondered what The Joker had planned for me today. There wasn’t any point to it seeing as everything he did surprised me and I’d never be able to predict what he had in store.

“Harley!” I heard a loud shout echo down the hallway.

“What!?” I screamed back just as loud.

“Are you ready!?”

“No!”

“Hurry up and get down here!”

“Fine!” I hurriedly zipped the dress up and slipped on my black pumps. When I reached the top of the stairs, I saw The Joker at the bottom casually leaning against the banister awaiting my arrival. “So, what are we doing today, Mr J?” I asked and I couldn’t help but giggle when I noticed that it rhymed. I even noticed him smirk slightly, but then again his face always looks like that unless he’s angry.

While I was walking down the stairs, he reached out his leathered hand for me to take hold of. Just like a gentleman. Willingly, I placed my hand in his and he lead me down the rest of the stairs. “Today, my little harlequin, we’re going to be having some fun,” he replied with a grin.

“Not sure if I like the sound of that,” I stated truthfully. “What kind of fun?”

“Oh, you’ll see,” he answered. He proceeded to pulling me towards the front door of the mansion. As soon as he opened the door I gasped in bliss. This was the first time in awhile that I’d stepped foot into fresh air and it felt amazing. I had been trapped inside the stuffy bedroom for the majority of the time spent in the mansion and being able to breathe in clear oxygen felt like heaven. The fact that the weather was actually nice today improved the experience of feeling fresh air. The sun was out and hardly any clouds were insight. After the enjoyment of the air had faded, I realised that I was being taken around the back of the house, to do go knows what.

Without any words said he brought me to a very large oak tree. At first, I was confused to why he had brought me there. There was nothing special about the tree. That was until we got closer to the tree and I became even more confused. Strapped to the bottom of the tree was one of The Joker’s henchmen, gagged and with an apple on top of his head. He looked terrified and I couldn’t blame him. The Joker is a strange one. What exactly was he planning?

“What are you doing?” I asked a little panicked. I started tugging my hand away from him, but that just resulted in me getting jerked back and my arm almost being pulled out of the socket.

“So, this brave young man here offered to be today’s guinea-pig,” he explained as he waved a hand towards the poor bloke. This made the man squirm and protest incoherently as he tried to struggle away. The Joker shot him an evil glare making him instantly stop. When he had finished, The Joker reached into his pocket and brought out a gun. “Now what I want you to do,” he paused as he grabbed my hand and placed the gun in it, then continued, “is point this gun at that apple and shoot it, hmm? You go that?” He asked. “An apple a day keeps the doctor away,” he sang as he looked down at me. He then pinched my butt and brought his face closer to my ear then whispered, “But if the doctor’s cute, then screw the fruit.” I rolled my eyes at his silly joke.

“I can’t do this. I’ve never shot a gun in my life,” I admitted as I tried to hand the gun back to him. But he simply pushed my hand back to where it was previously.

“You know me, I’m not taking no as an answer. Now shoot that damn apple!”

“But I’m going to miss! I’m going to kill one of your men!”

“I don’t care. I can always get new men. Go!”

“Please, don’t make me do it,” I pleaded through watery eyes. I hated holding the gun let alone shooting it. The poor man was shaking with fear and I couldn’t bring myself to pull the trigger. The chances were that I was most likely going to kill him and I didn’t want to do that. I would never want to kill a person, no matter how much I loathed them. It’s just not right.

“Look Harley, it’s either you shoot that apple or you make me pull out my knife again and you know what happens after that. Now which one do you want, hmm?” I stared at him helplessly looking for sympathy, but he didn’t care. Then I stared back at the man, he was a good few metres away from me and I was certain that I was going to miss the target. I was probably going to blast his head off. “Oh, come on! Just think about the negative sides of this guy. This guy is an animal and you don’t wannna know what he’d do to you if he had you alone, would you?” I shook my head, still staring at the target.

I lifted my hand as I steadied the gun, attempting to aim it directly at the apple. My hands were shaking which didn’t help the matter. I let out quiet whimpers while I was trying to target the apple and I still couldn’t bring myself to shoot. By now, The Joker was losing his patience and I could tell he was rolling his eyes at my cowardliness and inexperience.

“Arggh,” he groaned as he walked over behind me. “Come here.” He pressed his torso against my back and placed his hands over mine which were gripping the gun tightly. “Relax a little.” I did as I was told and let him guide my hands to wherever I was supposed to aim. I felt him breathing down my neck, which oddly soothed me as I felt as if I wasn’t as likely to kill the guy anymore. But then again The Joker would have been happy for me to blast the guy’s head off. “Now shoot,” he whispered into my ear.

After a few moments of hesitation, I actually pulled the trigger and I closed my eyes shut tightly not wanting to see what I’d hit. I heard clapping coming from behind me and I dared to open my eyes. I squealed when I realised that I’d shot the apple and the man was now sighing with relief. I turned around still squealing and leaped at the clapping Joker, wrapping him into a big hug. I didn’t care how much he didn’t want to be hugged; I still did it with a smile on my face. “Hey, hey. It’s not over yet,” he informed me as he pushed me away.

“What?”

“Now, you’ve got to shoot on your own,” he said with a smug grin. My happiness plummeted to the ground and the smile faded from my lips, which made his grin widen. “Don’t give me that look. You’ve done it once, you can do it again.” He was about to walk off to tie another apple to the guy’s head, but turned back around to warn me, “Don’t think about running away.” Then continued on walking towards the tree.

I wasn’t thinking about it until he warned me. Now that he had mentioned it, it sure was tempting. There was a perfect escape route, but I knew that The Joker would have some henchmen and guard dogs somewhere ready to chase after me. Still, I desperately wanted to do a runner at that moment. It was probably the only chance I’d ever get. My contemplating of the idea was no longer when The Joker began to walk back to me. The chance was now gone.

“Now shoot.”

“But you were helping me before.”

“Just shoot.”

“I ca- ”

“Shoot.”

“Bu- ”

“Shoot!”

I panicked at his loud bellow and immediately pulled the trigger without another hesitation. I closed my eyes again and heard the shrieks of agony coming from the guy with the apple on his head. He obviously wasn’t dead since he was still screaming. I looked up hesitantly and a bloody red mark had started to spread on his shoulder. Meanwhile, I tried to ignore The Joker’s hysterical laughing coming from behind me as I apologised frantically to the man. Still gagged, he mumbled something not comprehensible, most likely some sort of profanity. However, I continued to apologise.

“Stop laughing!” I exclaimed irritably. The Joker ignored me and continued to laugh, almost keeling over in amusement. There was a lot of noise at that precise moment in time. I had The Joker crying with laughter behind me, a man screaming in pain and guard dogs were barking madly because of the noise. “Stop it!” His laughter ceased but not because I wanted him to.

“You’re a funny one, Harley. My sides are splitting. Not literally of course. But I could use that as some sort of gag next time I’m out. I’ll try that sometime,” he suggested to himself, thinking the situation over in his head. “Anyway, that’s a bit off topic. Nice shot, puddin’, but not too nice for him,” he praised pointing towards the injured man with a giggle. He placed a kiss on my cheek after the giggle in appreciation and it made me feel good to know that he was proud of me.

When The Joker took the gun from my hands, I mentally kicked myself. That’s when I realised that I actually had a chance to shoot him in the head. Why was I so stupid? But then again, I don’t think I could have brought myself to do it if I really tried. Like I said before, I’d never want to kill a person, even if that person was one of the most wanted men in Gotham.

“Let’s go test these shooting skills of yours, shall we?” He asked as he started off towards the front of the house.

God damn it. There was no stopping him. He had set his mind to something and now he wasn’t going to let it go. What that something was, I didn’t know, but I did know it wasn’t going to be pleasant. Seeing as there was no point in trying to fight away from him, I willingly let him pull me towards the white van that I was brought here in. Besides, I need a change of scene for awhile. I’ve been stuck in that manor for God knows how long and it’d be nice to see something different. Hopefully.

I was also thankful that The Joker was involving me with his business life, because I felt left out and lonely when he wasn’t around. All I wanted was to please him, just because I liked to hear his appraisal and appreciation. I didn’t receive a lot of appraisal when I worked at Arkham, so whenever I do, it makes me feel a lot better about myself. Strange that the only person who’s ever given me approval is from a psychopath.

Not even my parent ever gave me any sort of approval or any sign of gratitude. But why should I care about them? They don’t care about me. I hadn’t spoken to my parents for a few years now. Ever since I dropped out of the professional gymnastic classes, everything I did they disapproved of and always found some sort of error in it. I tried my best to please them, but they’d never be happy. I even got myself a job as a top psychiatrist in Arkham and they didn’t care. They thought I could have done better than Arkham. Even when I was involved with gymnastics they still weren’t that better. They still nagged and moaned at me and suggested how I should live my life. After I graduated from Gotham University and got a job in Arkham, I gradually lost contact with him. If they wanted to get in touch with me they could, but they hadn’t made the effort to call, so why should I? There’s another reason to why I live such a lonely life.