No Place in My Heart for a Criminal Like You

When we had reached the manor after our little day out, it was pretty dark. I wasn’t quite sure what time exactly. I hadn’t been sure of it for awhile, having no time telling devices at all. Not that it mattered now as I had no need for it. Besides, The Joker seemed to be my alarm clock in the morning now.

The Joker had managed to persuade me into having dinner with him downstairs, or forced me into it, for the use of better words. I wouldn’t have been so hard to sway if it wasn’t for the fact that his men would be there too and the whole fact of eating anything near them made me feel sick. I tried not to think about what catastrophe they’d cook up if they were actually the ones making dinner. I prayed that they weren’t.

Like the gentleman he was, The Joker led me to my seat in the dining room. I hadn’t entered the room ever since the camera recording incident and that wasn’t really a pleasant one. Although I couldn’t see this one being much of an improvement. Holding my hand in his gloved one he sat me down in the oversized, king like chair, tucking it in before I sat down.

As he was about to release my hand to turn and leave, I quickly clasped it tight again. I pulled him down so that his ear was level with my mouth.

“Don’t you dare leave me alone with these men,” I whispered harshly into his ear as they all piled into the room holding their plates with food on it.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be back before you know it, puddin’.” He disappeared into the kitchen soon after, leaving me to bask in the awkward silence with the strange men. I had noticed that the men had sat themselves on either side of me, leaving only one chair available which was at the opposite end of table from me, meaning that The Joker was going to be the furthest away possible from me. This was only slightly unnerving, to say the least. However, I was almost certain that The Joker had ordered his men not to make any sort of contact with me seeing as none of them paid any attention to me whatsoever, just simply devoured their food. I recognised one of the men sitting at the table. I had recognised him from my time in Arkham. No, he wasn’t a patient. He was the weedy looking orderly that Commissioner Gordon had knocked over awhile back now. Now I realise that he wasn’t an orderly and I should have been suspicious of him working for The Joker that day. He must have told him that I hadn’t confessed to Gordon. I was surprised. Not at the fact that I had recognised him, but surprised that The Joker hadn’t killed him off yet.

Eventually, The Joker returned with two plates in hand. He placed one in front of me and then made his way over to his seat at the far end of the table.

“So, did you make this?” I asked jokingly, with a smirk.

“Of course. I put it in the microwave for ten minutes, didn’t I?” I figured as much. I merely rolled my eyes at his response. Mindlessly I pushed the food around on the plate with my fork, considering whether or not I should eat it. I was frightened I might get food poisoning or salmonella. It was some kind of meat substance and a variety of vegetables surrounding it. It didn’t look appetising at all.

I looked up from my plate when I heard The Joker clear his throat. “I’d just like to say how proud of you I am, Harley. You did a good job,” he started. Glancing up and down the table at his men, he asked, “Didn’t she do a good job guys...hmm?” They nodded and mumbled a ‘yes’ in reply. As if they didn’t already hate me already, The Joker had now just boost the hate vastly. He was openly showing his gratitude towards me and that’s more than I’d seen him express towards his men. I was almost certain that he wanted me to be killed by them. I shook my head in annoyance at his little toast that he was now conducting. “She’s more reliable than you’ll ever be,” The Joker spat cruelly. Even though the men expressed no emotion, I could clearly tell that they weren’t happy about that. Even I wasn’t happy about it. There was no need for harsh remarks like that and I could tell it hurt them emotionally. Even more irritated now, I stabbed the meat in the centre of the plate with the fork and began carving it aggressively, wanting to express my anger before taking a bite. The Joker noticed this little action and smirked smugly, noting that I was annoyed. “I don’t get women. They just can’t take a compliment.”

He grabbed the glass beside him and threw the contents out over his shoulder before taking a sip of the now empty glass. Even though I rolled my eyes at the act, I couldn’t suppress the giggle. He was a strange one, but I had to love it.

Bored and irritated that The Joker hadn’t taken his eyes off me since he’d sat down I began, drumming my hand against the table. For no reason in particular, simply out of boredom. There was no rhythm to it whatsoever. To be honest, I hadn’t even noticed that I’d been doing it until The Joker bellowed irritably, “Harley! How would you like it if I banged you against the table!?” At first I was startled by his sudden outburst, but I couldn’t stifle the laughter once I had realised what he’d asked. Even his men were trying their best not to crack, in fear that he wouldn’t take nicely to being laughed at, but unwillingly they choked out a snigger. The Joker’s eyes were widened slightly, finally aware of what he had just asked. A mock grin was plastered across his face and he attempted to glower at all his men for laughing, but his intimidation was overshadowed by the tinge of embarrassment. “That’s enough,” The Joker hushed calmly. When the laughter failed to cease he raised his voice not being able to hide his annoyance any longer, “I said that’s enough!” Instantly the room became quiet and everyone continued eating again.

The chair legs squeaked against the wooden floor as he stood up from his chair abruptly. “Harley, can you come upstairs with me, please? I have something I want to show you,” he informed as he made his way towards the dining room entrance. I stopped eating immediately and stood up from my chair also, abandoning the majority of the food that was there to begin with. I glanced over at The Joker’s plate and realised that he hadn’t even touched his knife and fork let alone his food. It made me wonder where he got all of his energy, considering he didn’t eat nor sleep.

I was worried that I was in trouble for laughing at him earlier, however, the invitation didn’t sound as if he was aiming to intimidate. So, I was confused at what he was actually planning for me.

“What is it, J?” I asked once we had both entered the bedroom.

“I told you. I have something for you,” he replied as he walked over to his dresser.

“Oh, great. Do I really want this?” I asked warily.

“Well, I was hoping you’d like it.” He began pulling out a variety of clothing from the dresser and placing them on the bed behind him.

Walking over to the bed to take a closer look, I asked, “What’s this?” There was an outfit laid out on the bed, consisting of, black fish nets accompanied with a short red netted tutu. Above that lay a black bustier corset with red lace and a chunky black belt to go around it. To finish off the outfit there were a pair of black leather fingerless gloves and a pair of odd coloured converse, one being red and the other being black.

“From now on, whenever you go out with me, you will wear this outfit, you understand? Seeing as my men wear a uniform, you will have to wear one too, if you wanna work with me that is, hmm? Do you wanna make me happy, puddin’?”

“Anything for you, Mr J,” I replied innocently as I stood on my tip toes and placed a quick kiss on lips. The Joker didn’t seem fazed by the action at all and his expression didn’t falter. He just simply continued to stare down at me. Not feeling satisfied with the kiss whatsoever, I pulled him down by the neck into a deeper, longer kiss. Yet, he didn’t kiss back. Confused at what joke he was trying to pull, I broke away. His expression had now changed to a bemused one.

“What are you doing?” He asked, making me feel somewhat embarrassed. “Aren’t you going to try these clothes on?” I pouted slightly upset, hurt that he was showing no interest in me. It only made me try harder to seduce him. I lay back on the bed and lift my leg up to The Joker.

“Can you help me, please?” I asked, smiling up at him sweetly. He took hold of my calf and began undoing the strap on the shoe, followed by the other shoe. Once he had finished, I stood up from the bed and slid the straps of the dress off my shoulder and then stepped out of it. Seeing as I had to put the corset on, I would have to take my bra off. Trying to act nonchalant and oblivious to what I was doing, I undid the bra and removed it, exposing myself to him. He continued to display no sign of any interest or desire. “Can you tie this corset for me?” He picked up the corset and placed it on my front, making me hold it while he fastened the back. He grabbed the red lace and began tying it a little too hard, if I may add. I wasn’t sure if he was doing it deliberately to hurt me or if he was naturally heavy handed. Every time he’d fasten it through one of the loops, I’d let out a gasp in pain and clench my teeth closed. “J,” I sighed as he did another loop. “I think you’re tying it too tight. You’re hurting.”

“You said you wanted me to tie it, so I’m tying it for you, puddin’.” I heard him let a chuckle as he tied another, making me a gasp again. I figured I was going to have to put up with the pain, but it became unbearable when he reached the chest area.

“J, please. You’re crushing my breasts,” I whined almost breathlessly. I didn’t know any other words to use to make him stop. After one more tight pull, he began to slacken the lacing. After the corset was fastened, I pulled on the other items of clothing trying to be as appealing and graceful as possible, hopefully attracting The Joker’s attention.

Once I was fully clothed in the new outfit, I posed and asked, “What do you think, Mr J?” I sauntered over to him, swaying my hips in the process.

When my body was pressed against his, he merely looked down at me, indifferently. “Hmm...it’d look better if you had more, uh, make-up on,” he suggested ignoring the fact that I was now obviously trying to flirt with him. I frowned at this, but I immediately wiped it off and placed my lips on his neck. It proved to be incredibly difficult since I was a lot shorter than him and he made no effort in leaning down for me. I grabbed the back if his neck and forced him down towards me placing kisses along his neck up to his ear. When I began nibbling on his ear, he placed his hands on my hips and I immediately thought I was finally getting somewhere, until he pushed me away from him. “Go to bed, Harley,” he ordered huskily, before starting towards the bedroom door, leaving me puzzled.

I was basically throwing myself at him and he didn’t do anything at all. I couldn’t help but feel a little rejected and it hurt. I didn’t even know what I had done to deserve the cold treatment. I felt like a little puppy, being scolded for the first time for doing something wrong, except I hadn’t done anything wrong. Or at least I thought I didn’t. As far as I’m concerned, I had done nothing to rub him the wrong way. I sat on the bed wallowing in my self-pity, trying to figure out what it was I had done.