No Place in My Heart for a Criminal Like You

Once the sound of screams began to echo out within the police station, Batman stood up from his chair instantly and ran towards the interrogation room door. As he had left the door open, I decided to follow. Giddy with a skip in my step, I hurried after Batman. I was happily skipping along the corridor, knowing that The Joker was at the entrance, until Batman came to an abrupt stop and turned around.

“Harley?! Go back to the interrogation room!” He growled at me.

“Oh, hell no. I’m not going anywhere, now that my puddin’ is just in the other room,” I taunted before sticking my tongue out at him. I then continued to skip ahead of Batman, until he grabbed my arm roughly. “Hey, get off me, you stupid bat!”

“Go back, Harley.”

“No. Now let go of me!” He still refused to let go of my arm and instead just stared down at me angrily. “I swear, if you don’t let go of me right now, I’ll scream as loud as I can. Then J will hear me and he’ll come in here and kick your ass again. He’s not gonna be happy, B-man!”

“I’m not scared of him,” he stated relentlessly. With that said I let out the loudest, most annoying high-pitched scream I had ever done. An octave higher and I think all the glass in the station would have smashed.

Irritated, Batman clasped his hand around my neck and slammed me against the wall. I immediately stopped screaming, because my throat was being crushed. I wanted to laugh, but I couldn’t do that either.

“Oh, Batsy. You wouldn’t hit a girl would you?” I heard an oh-so familiar voice ask. I rolled my eyes slightly at the hypocrisy of the question, but I was happy nevertheless. Batman’s grip on me loosened and I was now able to turn my head to see The Joker standing in the corridor along with a couple of his henchmen. One of them was sliding a metal bar through the handles of the double doors that they had just came through, so that no-one else could get in.

“J!” I squealed in excitement as I tore away from Batman’s grip and began sprinting towards The Joker. Without a second thought, I jumped up and wrapped my arms and legs around his body. He caught me easily and grasped both of my thighs to hold me up. I planted many butterfly kisses all over his face in excitement. “I knew you’d come for me. They’ve been horrible to me, J!” I whined, exaggerating slightly. I only wanted to make The Joker more angry so that he’d take it all out on the police station.

“Oh, puddin’. Have they been making you cry?” The Joker asked as he placed me on my two feet steadily and then began rubbing his thumb along my cheek where tear stains had ran through my make-up. I nodded with a pout plastered on my face. “I can’t have anyone upsetting my little harlequin, can I Harley?” He asked me, but stared at Batman as he asked, anger and intimidation evident in his expression.

“He was saying mean things. And he was saying you didn’t love me. And that you were only using me. He was saying horrible things about you. If I were you, I wouldn’t put up with it, J. I’d take the bat down. Whatcha say, J?” Without a reply, he let his hands drop to his side and then reached into his trench coat pocket and pulled out a sharp knife.

“So, Batsy. Heard you’ve been tormenting my girl,” The Joker stated as he pointed his blade at Batman patronisingly. The Joker began taking long slow strides towards him as he stood in the exact same place that he was standing in when I escaped his grip. He didn’t move a muscle and continued to show no expression of fear or anger or any emotion for that matter. “I don’t like that. Not. One. Bit. So, I’m gonna have to do something drastic.”

“What can you do, Joker?” Batman asked, sounding more annoyed than scared.

The Joker cleared his throat, turned around to look at his men, clicked his fingers and then pointed at Batman. In a flash, his henchmen were stampeding down the corridor towards him and Batman. The two henchmen attempted to grapple him to the floor, The Joker helping also. It was a struggle at first, but as soon as The Joker kicked him in the stomach he keeled backwards in pain. Once he was down, I ran along the corridor to join them. The henchmen were pinning each of his arms down, while The Joker hovered above him. I cart wheeled over Batman’s body and looked down at him with a little giggle.

“This seems familiar, hmm Bats?”

“Too bad you’re going to fail again, Joker.”

“Let’s see.” The Joker then continued to bring his blade closer to Batman’s face. Once Batman realised what he was trying to do, he struggled to get out of everyone’s grip. His face shook from side to side so that The Joker couldn’t slice him up. Even when The Joker grabbed his face to keep still, he still couldn’t get him to stay still. The Joker growled in irritation. Sensing that he was now really annoyed, I decided to help him by grabbing Batman’s ear horn things and then pinning his head down to the floor. The Joker looked up from Batman for a second to glance at me and said lovingly, “Thank you, puddin’.”

“Anything for you,” I retorted, sickeningly sweet. Both of us had wide grins plastered across our faces as The Joker resumed what he was previously doing. He held the blade to Batman’s face and left it there. Waiting for him to slice his face was painfully slow. The tension building up in the room was unbearable and without a second thought, I exclaimed, “Come on, J. I can’t take it any longer.”

“Patience is a virtue, Harley.”

I was so focused on The Joker blade to Batman’s face that I didn’t realise a cop sneaking up behind The Joker. Obliviously, the cop kicked The Joker in the back so that he dived forwards, pushing me backwards and landing on top of me with a thud.

“Don’t move!” The officer shouted as he aimed a gun at The Joker’s back. The henchmen attempted to lunge at the officer, but was stopped by Batman who had now recovered and was taking both of the henchmen on.

“You got me, officer,” The Joker admitted with a snicker. He then stared at me directly in the eyes and then quickly down to his coat. His eyes darted back and forwards. At first I was confused at what he was trying to do, but I realised soon after that he was trying to get me to search his coat. When I secretly began searching the inside of pockets of his coat, he smiled to let me know that I was doing the right thing.

“Get off her, Joker,” the officer warned. He ignored him and let me continue my search for a gun. It seemed impossible, I just couldn’t find anything. There were too many pockets. “Remove yourself from her now!” He warned again and straight after I found the handle of the small handgun.

“If you say so,” The Joker said smarmily and then rolled off of me. The officer was so focused on The Joker that he didn’t even realise me holding the gun at all. As soon as The Joker was off me, I aimed the gun and quickly pulled the trigger before he even realised what was happening. The bullet went straight through his head and so he collapsed to the ground obviously dead.

Batman was still wrestling with the goons and all I wanted to do now, was leave this awful place. As fast as I could, I sprinted down the corridor towards Batman and did a forwards flip kicking him in the head in the process. He fell to the ground unconscious. The Joker was following me casually, close behind. As he reached the unconscious body of Batman he jumped up in the air and landed on his body along with a high-pitched, manic laughter. He began jumping around on his body continuing his crazy, yet loveable laugh.

“Come on, J. I want to get out of here now, before someone else comes.”

“Since when do you give the orders?” The Joker asked as he jumped off Batman’s body. “Hmm, little miss Quinn?”

“Since you don’t have any intention on getting back home. Now, hurry.” I grabbed his gloved hand in mind and began to tug him towards the door he had came through. I’d never held his hand before and even though we were both wearing gloves I could feel the heat radiating of his. His grip was solid and firm, just like I imagined them to be. They made mine feel so small and fragile. He could easily just tighten his grip and crush every bone in my hand, but he didn’t even try to. Surprisingly, he didn’t even try pulling away or hurting me for showing such acts of affection. Instead he just walked along with me holding his hand, not caring that his men were watching. He did, however, take over and was now pulling me along to show that he was the one in control which I didn’t mind. I liked him looking after me and showing me what to do. I felt so secure and protected. This just proved to me that he must love me, considering he did rescue me in the end.