No Place in My Heart for a Criminal Like You

A whole month had passed since my little run-in with Batman and the cops. Me and The Joker was currently preparing for yet again another mob bank heist. Simple enough. Just a quick in and out job.

I was sat in the front of the white van while I waited for The Joker and his goons to load it up with bags and weapons. Like usual, the goons climbed into the back while The Joker sat in the driver’s seat. Soon after, we set off to the heart of Gotham. The Sun was setting nicely and it turned the sky a light shade of red. As we approached closer to the main part of Gotham, many of Gotham’s inhabitants were hurrying home after a long days work and kids were happily walking home with a skip in their step in anticipation to get away from school. It made me realise how much I missed my freedom and I envied them for being able to go about their lives without a care in the world. As for me, I was wary of my every move. The Joker never allowed me to go out without him around and even when I was out, I was still cautious of being caught by the cops. For that I envied their freedom.

However, I did pity their lifestyle. I was thankful that I didn’t have the boring minimum wage, 9 to 5 job, doing the same thing day in day out for a living. No, I much more preferred my life, where every turn is a surprise to me. No day was ever the same and no day was ever boring.

“Everyone know what they’re doing?” The Joker asked as he turned the engine off. Everyone let out a groan in response and then placed a clown mask over their face. The Joker and I didn’t since there wasn’t any point to it. People would have known who we are anyway. “Harley, you’ve just gotta grab the bags and take the money from the vault, okay?” I nodded my head confidently. “Good girl. Now let’s go.” I climbed over the seat and into the back to grab the bags before exiting through the back door. One of The Joker’s goons took over the driver’s seat so that we could drive away from here as soon as possible.

Struggling slightly, I managed to run into the bank following The Joker as I juggled three big duffel bags.

“Everyone on the ground now!” The Joker bellowed as soon as he entered the bank with a shot gun in hand. His men came piling after me also carrying various guns. As I darted off towards the vault along with a goon who could open it, The Joker continued to bark orders at all of the civilians who obeyed, fearfully aware that they’d die if they didn’t.

Patiently, I waited for the goon to open up the vault who seemed to be taking his precious time in doing so. I sighed heavily just to show how impatient I was getting waiting for him to finish.

“Are you finished yet?” I asked irritated after five more minutes of fiddling around.

“Wait. This takes time, you know?”

“Well…hurry it up a bit.”

“Do you want to try it!? You’re just making me take longer by talking to me!” He exclaimed annoyed. “Stupid bitch,” I heard him mutter under his breath. If The Joker was here, he wouldn’t have put up with that. But unfortunately, he wasn’t and I had no-one to fend for me. In response to his snide remark, I scoffed loudly and leaned against the wall.

Eventually the vault finally opened and the goon stood up from off his knees and turned to me. “There you go, your majesty,” he said sarcastically as he took a bow opening the door.

“Thank you, sweetie!” I exclaimed happily, stroking his shoulder as I passed him. He merely shook his head and ran off back into the direction where The Joker was, leaving me to shove all the money into the bag by myself.

As I was packing all of the bags, The Joker’s shouting came to a halt when it was interrupted by a loud crash and then a groan came from The Joker. Gun shots began echoing throughout the hallway. Curious about what all the commotion was and fearing the worst, I fled the vault and ran towards the lobby of the bank.

When I entered I saw The Joker get kicked in the stomach by Batman sending him to the floor. I smiled when I noticed that Batman had now entered the building, but nevertheless I quickly ran over to The Joker for his aid. As soon as everyone realised I had entered, the shooting instantly came to a stop and then all eyes were on me.

“There you are,” Batman stated gruffly as I leaned down slightly to help The Joker up.

“Did you miss me, Bats?” I asked teasingly. “Time for round two, huh?”

“Stop with the act, Harley.”

“Act?”

“Yes. This isn’t you. You’re only doing this to please him and he‘s making you believe that he actually cares about you.”

I felt The Joker’s arm drape around me, pulling me closer to him before whispering huskily into my ear. “Don’t listen to him, puddin’. It’s all lies. I wouldn’t lie to you, would I, hmm? He’s just a liar who likes to dress up as a bat and flies around Gotham preaching on people. And, ah, that much spandex can’t be healthy can it?” This made me erupt into a fit of giggles, partially for the little comment and also because his hair was tickling my neck. Upon hearing my laughter, The Joker began chuckling too as he placed his lips to my neck. I turned my head so that he could kiss me on the lips. He did so willingly, before turning back to face Batman. “You see, Batman? She loves me and she’s never going to believe you over me now.”

“You’re sick,” Batman stated bluntly, making The Joker burst into a fit of laughter.

“Just figured that out?” The conversation was interrupted when the sound of police sirens could be heard close to the bank. “Love to stay, Bats, but I’ve gotta run.” The Joker clicked his fingers and in an instant one of his men butted him in the head with butt of his gun. It managed to knock Batman to the ground but it wouldn’t last long. Though it was long enough for us to be able to escape. As quickly as possible, we ran back to the van and entered through the back door and immediately after the van sped away from the bank.

Helplessly, I was being flung from side to side of the van as it swerved corners sharply. Fortunately, The Joker managed to sit down and he dragged me down onto his lap with him.

“Well that was fun,” The Joker said as he fixed the lapels of his coat.

“Mmhmm,” I agreed as I shifted a strand of hair away from his face that was matted to the grease paint. I pulled him into another kiss, except deeper this time. He smiled smugly once he broke away from me and then his eyes wandered around the van and at all of his men. Then he focus began to look as if he was searching for something. “Uh, where’re the bags?” He asked still scanning the van for them.

Oops.