No Place in My Heart for a Criminal Like You

As soon as I had escaped the awkward silence between me and Gordon in the car ride to my lonely home, I ran into my house as fast as I could since it was pouring down. I think the reason why I’m so lonely is because I’m awkward. I never say the right things. I end up regretting everything I do. I’m the person who kills every conversation and makes everything more awkward than it should be. People find it hard to have a conversation with me, but at least some people try. Like Gordon. He’s the only person who attempts to talk to me.

After taking off my shoes and wet coat I immediately pulled out my laptop and thought I’d undergo some research on The Joker. Strictly because it was my job to do so, obviously. Do you assume that I’m doing this because I’m obsessed with him?

I’ve got no place in my heart, for a criminal like him.

Surprise, surprise. I wasn’t stunned to see all of the ghastly crimes he had committed over the years. Some of which involved the ever so famous Batman, who was also involved in The Joker’s latest and hopefully final transgression. The Joker didn’t succeed in getting away in this endeavour to torment the Batman and was found hanging upside-down from a building which was in the middle of construction. Maybe this Batman helped provoke The Joker to do what he does.

I attempted to think of questions for the next session, but gave up when I realised that I was most likely not to get an answer from any of the questions. I’d say The Joker was stubborn, but I don’t think that’s the case. He’s obviously insane, but he’s a clever son of a bitch.

Now, I currently sit in my office chair, patiently awaiting The Joker. I kept repeating in my head, don’t let him get to you, don’t let him get to you, don’t let him get to you, trying to fool myself into thinking I was confident enough to be the one in control. I sighed knowing it was pointless. He was just too strong for me, probably both physically and mentally.

As soon as he entered I noticed that his painted face which had once started to fade had now been re-painted. At first I wondered, how he managed it, but then I realised this was The Joker I’m thinking about. He most likely threatened, one of the nurses or guards to give him his face paint.

“I’d be cautious around him today, Miss Quinzel. He’s being slightly cantankerous at the moment,” one of the three nurses explained. Great. That’s all I need. It’s not as if I don’t have problems with him already as it is.

I simply nodded and smiled, hiding my true emotions. This time I made sure he was cuffed before I let the nurses leave. Once they had left, I turned my attention to The Joker. When I looked him directly in the eyes, he glared at me in irritation and let out an annoyed sigh.

“Why so serious?” I asked, trying to break the ice by cracking a joke. There was no answer. He didn’t even move a muscle. “How did you get to re-paint your face?” Still no answer. He was being a moody little bitch this session. I sat up from my chair and walked in front of my desk so that I was leaning back on it. “Why don’t you ever answer any of my questions? I just want to help you. I’m not doing this because I’m being forced to do this job, it’s because I actually want to get you through your problems. You’re making this a lot harder than it needs to be.”

He smirked at me and asked, “Are you saying you care about me?”

“All I’m saying is that I want to cure you. But I’m not going to be able to do that if you don’t co-operate with me,” I explained to him. He stared at me blankly in return. “Now, are you going to answer any of my questions?”

The Joker kept that smirk on his face while he let out a little chuckle and then turned his head to the side. I sighed and then started towards the door. The Joker’s head shot towards me in confusion.

“Where are you going?” He asked puzzled as he stood up from his seat. I flinched slightly as I was walking, but I regained my composure instantly.

“If you’re not going to say anything then there’s no point in this session, is there?” I reached for the door handle but I stopped when The Joker’s hand came slamming down on the door stopping me from opening it. I jumped back in fright and let out a quiet whimper. I looked up at The Joker’s face, grinning evilly at me.

“Doesn’t look like you’re going anywhere now does it, puddin’?” he asked cynically as he walked towards me slowly. Before I could take a step back away from him he quickly grabbed my face aggressively with his handcuffed hands. “This is beginning to be quite fun,” he breathed in my face as he winked.

“Why do you always do this?” I whispered, which almost came out as a whimper. “Please, let go of me.”

“I do this because this is what I do best. I take your little sessions and turn them on themselves. How fun would it be to have the question and answer based sessions?” I turned my head away from him, trying to hide that I was actually enjoyed the sessions with him because they were different. “What’s wrong? Do I scare you? Look at me,” he ordered. I slowly brought my head back up to look at him, obeying him so he didn’t get mad. “Do you think I’m stupid?” He asked. At first I thought it was a rhetorical question, but after the long pause I figured he actually wanted me to answer.

“No. Not at all. In fact I think you’re one of the most intelligent human beings I’ve ever met. You amaze me. I’m fascinated by everything that you are and everything you do. I’m obsessed.”

“I know,” he said plainly as if I had already told him. I couldn’t believe that I had just confessed my obsession for him and I couldn’t believe that he wasn’t bothered by it. How did he already know? Am I so predictable? “As you said, I’m one of the most intelligent human beings. And with you, you are an open book to me. So easy to read. I’ve noticed the little hints of desire in your eyes when I’m around, yet you try to hide your feelings.”

“It is extremely unprofessional to share any sort of relationship between a patient and a doctor.”

“Dr Quinzel, introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order and everything becomes chaos.” He smiled at me and started leaning in towards me as he pulled my face closer to his. Our lips met in an aggressive kiss, but he pulled away soon after. He continued to grin evilly as he glared at me and I stared up at him in awe. “You’ve got something on your face.”

I pulled away from his grip and quickly wiped away the make-up from around my lips. I was ashamed at what had just happened. I felt so dirty. I didn’t like it. But I couldn’t help but want more.

“Speaking of which, a guard was kind enough to let me have this make-up…after a lot of threatening and manipulating. It wasn’t easy. And that is the reason behind my…stubborn, if you will, behaviour. But after being in the presence of someone so beautiful, like you, I feel a lot better.”

I was happy that he had begun to answer my questions. I took this as a chance to ask an important question before he decided to go back to his original mode and not answer the questions I asked. “So now that you’re answering questions, I’d like to ask you one more. What do you want from Batman?”

He let out a loud, piercing laugh, making an echo throughout the office and the corridor. “Batman?! I don’t want anything from him. What does he have that I’d want? The question is, what does he want from me?”

“Well that’s a tough question,” I said sarcastically. “Possibly, he wants to stop you from killing or injuring innocent people, blowing up buildings, robbing banks, playing your cruel and twisted torturing games and basically just stop causing havoc in Gotham.”

“There’s that. But Gotham would be boring without me. I hadn’t done anything to affect Batman, but he still gets involved with everything that I do. He can never let me be. I do mean things. But everything I do, I do for a reason.”

“I thought you were a guy who didn’t have a plan.”

“Never said I had a plan.”

“But it sounds to me like you’ve got a lot of things planned out.”

“I’m an organized, revengeful man. I didn’t say I had plans.” I nodded, agreeing to disagree. I looked at my watch and decided that it was time we wrapped this session up. “Finished already? Feels like we’ve only just started.”

“I’ve got paperwork to do…Joker,” I said, unsure on what to call him. “Is there anything else I can call you other than The Joker?”

“The Joker’s fine,” he answered, monotonously. I nodded and headed for the door. I called for the nurses and they did their usual routine. They tied him into his straitjacket and took him to his cell. The usual wink before he disappeared into the little room, to do nothing but wait until the next session.