No Place in My Heart for a Criminal Like You

“Harley?”

“Hmm?” I muttered as I turned to face him, attempting to act dumbfounded.

“I asked you a question,” The Joker stated firmly. “Where are the bags?”

I turned my face away and removed myself from The Joker’s lap and sat beside him. “Umm…Well, I…uh.”

“Please, please don’t tell me that you left them in the bank.”

I continued to look away from him, feeling somewhat ashamed of what I had done. I felt clumsy for forgetting such a thing, but I was distracted and wasn’t thinking straight. I knew The Joker wasn’t going to take this lightly and I could only prepare for whatever lecture or punishment he had in store for me. It was wishful thinking if I thought otherwise.

“Well?” The Joker asked impatiently as I still refused to answer his question. “Harley, look at me.” Obediently, I slowly turned my face to look at him and I wasn’t surprised to find that he didn’t look happy at all. “Where did you put the bags?” He asked again as he placed a gloved hand on the back of my neck.

“I’m sorry,” was all I managed to breathe out in reply.

The grip on the back of my neck tightened slightly as he pulled me in closer with a sardonic grin on his face. He began chuckling cynically, but still clearly irritated. “Oh, Harley. Harley, Harley, Harley,” he started with a lick of his painted lips as he slapped my cheek gently. “I thought I told you specifically to load the bags. Now we‘re going to be the laughing stock of Gotham.” I wanted to point out the irony in what he had just said, but thought it was best not to.

“Yeah, but-”

“Stop! I don’t want to hear any, I wanted to help you stories! It was your job to get the money and that was it. I didn’t tell you to come to my rescue when you feel like it because I can handle myself. How many times do I have to keep telling you that I don’t need your help. I can do just fine by myself. Why do you still continue to ignore every single thing I tell you, hmm? I’ve told you once and I’m gonna tell you again; Listen to me. One simple task I gave you and you couldn’t even do that. You’re so incompetent and for some, obscure, unknown reason you’re absolutely infatuated with me. It’s for that reason that you fail every task I give you.”

“But, J-”

“Ah tah tah tah tah. Don’t interrupt me when I’m talking, Harley. As I was saying… Lately I think I’ve been a bit too soft on you and I’ve been letting you get away with murder…in some cases, quite literally. But that’s not the point. The point is, is that things are going to change. I’ve had it with your incompetence. You’ll never achieve anything in your life because you lack the morale. Stop being such a hopeless romantic and focus more on the set task.”

I attempted to pull away from his grip but he kept a strong hand on my neck continuing to pull me close. “Understand?!”

“Yes,” I groaned moodily as I tried to push him away. “Just stop touching me.”

He was about to let go, but pulled me back in closer and more aggressive after what I had said. “Stop with this attitude, Harley!” He bellowed at me, obviously infuriated. “You don’t tell me what to do! You’re becoming a real nuisance lately and I can’t be bothered with this anymore. I just feel as if I wanna-” he paused as his grip on tightened around my throat for a moment, but loosened not long after. “…forget it. But if you don’t change your ways, I’m going to have to do something about you. Because frankly I’m getting sick of you.” And with that said he shoved my face away from him viciously.

It wasn’t until then, did I notice that The Joker’s men were also in the back of the van with us. All of their eyes were fixated on us as we argued profusely. I felt somewhat embarrassed after being yelled at by The Joker in front of them as it was usually them that he was shouting at; not me.

“What?!” The Joker roared at his men when he noticed their staring. Immediately their eyes retreated away from us.

I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t expecting one of The Joker’s rants anytime soon. There was only so much he could take and lately I’ve noticed how he’s been trying his best not to explode. Every now and then he’d look as if he was about to shout at me for something I’d done, but he managed to restrain himself from doing so. He seemed to like to criticise everything I did, but had been able to calm himself down.

Now was the first time in awhile that he’d roared at me and I felt pathetic for snivelling about it. But the words hurt. I felt useless and as if he didn’t want me around. I was scared that he was losing interest in me and I didn’t want to know what the consequences of not wanting me around were. Some silent, uncontrollable tears began to fall down my cheeks pitiably. I felt The Joker’s eyes on me burning a hole through me as the tears showed no sign in stopping.

“Stop crying,” he muttered huskily with no sympathy in his voice at all. “I hardly even raised my voice.”

I removed the glove from one of my hands and began rubbing the tears away along with some of the make-up. Once I was certain that there were no more tears about to fall, I slipped the glove back on.

“I’m sorry,” I sniffled. “I really didn’t mean to forget. I don’t mean to be so incompetent. I got distracted and I had to know if you were alright. I’m sorry.”

The Joker merely rolled his eyes with a ‘tut’ in return and murmured a, “Okay.” And that was the end of that. The rest of the ride back to the manor was in complete silence; all except the calm humming of the van engine. I had a feeling that The Joker had not yet finished his lecture with me and more was to come later on, which I wasn’t looking forward to. I could still clearly tell that he was fuming from the past argument and I wanted to say something that would break the awkward silence or something that would calm him down to stop him from doing whatever it was he was planning to do. But I felt as if whatever I did say was only going to result in a simple irritated groan or grumble. So, I didn’t bother saying anything at all and instead watched The Joker’s leg bounce impatiently.