No Place in My Heart for a Criminal Like You

I woke up feeling a little less of a wreck. I had managed to regain my composure from that mess I had made. It was a new day and I was telling myself to forget about everything that had happened the previous night and continue with my life like usual.

It was early in the morning and I was walking into Arkham with my head held high, even though I was told not to come in, to recover fully from what had happened. I ignored their words, figuring that being alone would make matters worse not being able to stop thinking about the incident. Besides, a few things needed to be cleared up between me and The Joker, and today was another session with him so I didn’t want to give that up.

My office was now completely cleared up and tidy in contrast to what it was like earlier on. As I stepped foot into the office, someone grasped my shoulder. I turned around to face a concerned Jim Gordon.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were given the day off to recover?” He questioned.

“Staying at home alone wasn’t helping me at all. I need to continue my sessions with The Joker anyway.”

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea, Harleen.”

“Please. It isn’t fair that a patient should be refrained from any of his sessions, when he’s clearly in need of some serious help. If you leave him alone he’s just going to get worse, thinking of more and more ways to cause mayhem within Arkham,” I tried to reason with him.

“Can’t you see that he’s causing mayhem 24-7, whether he is alone or not? He can still have his damn sessions, but with another psychiatrist! He’s dangerous, Harleen, and I don’t see why you can’t see that!”

“I do see that, Gordon! I also don’t think it’s fair that he should have to start all of his progress over again by taking unnecessary precautions from having sessions with a new psychiatrist. It’s much easier for him to have someone he’s familiar with.”

Gordon sighed in defeat as he looked into my innocent eyes, almost begging him. “Fine, but safety measures will be put into action. Some cops from Gotham Police Department will take The Joker from his cell and place him in an interrogation room. You will make your way to the police department soon after he has been sedated and checked. Okay?”

“I still don’t think the sedation is necessary,” I complained.

“It’s still worth a try,” Gordon said as he pulled out a mobile phone from his pocket. He dialled a number and then put it to his ear. From what I could hear, it sounded as if he was ordering some of the cops to come down to Arkham to pick up The Joker. Once he had finished, he nodded his head in the direction to the cells summoning me to follow him. “We’re going to try and persuade him into leaving Arkham without a fight. Might be a tough task but he needs to aware that he’s going to leave his cell soon.” I felt butterflies fill my stomach as I approached his cell. Gordon ordered a guard to unlock the cell and he did so, looking slightly hesitant.

Once the door opened, I followed after Gordon and a couple of guards followed me. The Joker was in his straitjacket sitting in the corner of his room, legs spread across the floor, staring angrily at the wall. When he noticed people entering his cell, his head slowly turned to look at who the intruders were and I swear I saw a glimpse of gladness when he saw that one of the intruders was me.

“Gordon,” he mumbled while nodding his head at him. Gordon nodded back, and then The Joker turned his head to look at me. “Harley,” he said, elongating my name. I merely cracked an awkward smile and then turned my glance away from him.

“Joker…there’s going to be a few changes with your sessions with Dr Quinzel,” Gordon explained, fearful of his reaction, but maintaining his brave act.

“What…kind of changes?” he asked menacingly while he glared at Gordon.

“From now on your sessions will be held in Gotham City Police Department. There you will be placed in an interrogation room and your sessions will be under observation. And also you will need to be sedated before the sessions start.”

The Joker looked infuriated. I could almost see the red burning in his face past the white make-up. His head snapped towards me and I suddenly stopped breathing. “Did you approve of any of this?”

I shook my head rapidly.

“Harleen neither approved nor suggested anything. This is what’s best for the both of you for a less chance of anymore dangerous incidents to happen again.”

“I don’t wanna leave. I like it here,” he said sounding sincere.

“Unfortunately, you have no choice in the matter.”

“I’m not leaving.”

“…We’ll see.” As if on queue, Gordon’s phone rang in his pocket, indicating that the cops were outside.

“Harley, do something,” The Joker ordered as more guards entered his room ready to take him out.

“There’s nothing I can do. Please, don’t cause any trouble. I’m begging you to go out of here without a bother, okay. Please,” I begged.

He just glared at me angrily, as if I had let him down. Then I felt terrible for him and terrified for myself at the same time. It looked as if he wanted to kill me. I’m sure he would have if he wasn’t in the asylum in a straitjacket.

The guards attempted to take The Joker out of the cell once Gordon was finished on the phone. The Joker attempted to struggle out of their grip but it was a challenge since he was still stuck in his straitjacket. After a few seconds of wriggling, he stopped, finally obeying my orders by being directed out of the cell without a bother. For that I was thankful.

For some odd reason, seeing him being dragged to the cop car made me feel upset and sick. It was like he was being taken away from me and I didn’t like that. I wanted him desperately. Just for myself.

Gordon and I drove down Gotham’s gloomy streets, following closely behind the cop car with The Joker in it. I could only just make out the back of The Joker’s head and it looked as if he was talking to the cops in front of him, through the metal crosshatch, obviously taunting and teasing them like he always did.

Eventually, we reached the police department in the centre of Gotham. I noticed passers by whispering to one another shocked to see The Joker come out of the cop car. Some people simply gasped, while others stood frozen in their places in fright of him. He smiled knowing he had this effect on people as he walked into the police station with his hands now cuffed instead of being in a straitjacket.

I waited patiently outside of the interrogation room, waiting for The Joker to be sedated and tied to his chair securely with shackles. They treat him like he was some kind of ferocious beast, while in reality he was only human like everyone else and they wondered why he was the way he was.

“You can go in now, Dr Quinzel,” a police officer said as he came out of the interrogation room followed by another.

I simply nodded and walked into the room. It was way too bright for my liking and I much preferred the natural light which once shone into my little office in Arkham.

“Hi,” I said awkwardly as he glared at me from behind the table in the centre of the room. I made my way closer to him and then realised that he was pressing something against his arm. “What’s that?” I asked, pointing to his arm which was still in shackles. He took his hand away from his arm to show a blood stained cotton wool bud which had been covering a bloody mark on his arm where he had been injected.

“Oh, and your little friends also gave me this,” he said as he leaned forward for a bottle of pills which was just close enough for him to reach. “Ritalin. Yummy,” he said as he shook the bottle of pills.

“Can I have a look?” I asked as I reached my hands out for the bottle. He kindly placed the bottle in my hand and then I read the label. It was benzodiazepine. I sighed heavily knowing how strong the drug was. “Have you taken any?” I asked.

“A couple,” he replied, nonchalantly. This made me sigh even louder. Not only had he been injected, but he had also taken two of the strong pills. I was already aggravated with this new environment. I ran a hand through my hair to calm me down. “Stressed out, puddin’?”

“Don’t call me that. Don’t forget you are being watched now.”

His head slowly turned towards the mirror to his side and then turned his head back at me. “Let’s give them something to look at.”

“Let’s not,” I protested as I sat down in the chair across from him. “Let’s start this session.”

He then scoffed shortly after I had said that. “What? You expect me to answer any of your questions here? Toots, I’m not comfortable working with you in this kind of environment, now that we’re constantly being watched and all.”

“I’ve already told you that I can’t change that. I’m sorry. If it were up to me, we’d be in my office right now, but it’s not. Now, you’re going to have to answer my questions if these sessions are to continue.”

“I refuse.”

“Look, Joker! I had to fight for these sessions and I had to beg! I’m the only one in Arkham or even all of Gotham that thinks I’ll be able to change you. I’m the only one who cares enough about you to actually bother giving up the time to try and help you. I’m the only one crazy enough to see any glimpse of goodness in you, which may turn you into a sane man. You’re only making things worse for yourself if you don’t let me have these sessions with you! How are we supposed to progress if you don’t cooperate with me? I know you need my help, but you’re just too…stubborn to let me help you! Now, please, help me, help you.”

He sighed heavily and simply said, “I’ve already told you beautiful, I’m incurable.”

“I don’t believe you,” I breathed. He yawned openly, making me really irritated. “I know you can change. You just need to put some effort into it.”

“Who are you trying to kid?” he asked with another yawn. “You know…you can’t…change…” he said as his eyes slowly started to flicker closed.

“Hey! Joker!” I shouted, trying to get his attention, when his head began to droop. “Hey!” He attempted to bring his head back up, but just ended up closing his eyes again. I groaned when I heard him snore slightly. I stormed out of the interrogation room furious. “Why the hell is my patient sleeping?!” I screamed.

“We’re s-sorry, Dr Quinzel. Maybe the dose we gave his was too strong,” one of the police officers tried to explain.

“Maybe? Maybe?! He’s knocked out in a deep sleep and now you’re saying sorry!? This is valuable time we’re wasting because of your incompetence!”

“We’ll try and wake him up straight away, Dr Quinzel!”

“No! There isn’t any point! Just take him back to Arkham. The session’s as good as gone anyway,” I sighed annoyed. I turned my head through the window just to see The Joker slam his face into the table, since he was in such a deep sleep as he began to fall forwards. I wanted to laugh out loud, but I maintained my composure.

The officers unlocked his shackles and lifted The Joker up from the chair and carried him out of the room. It was kind of hysterical to see him being carried out like that, but I didn’t want to break my persona by laughing at the scene. This was the most peaceful I’ve ever seen him and it was kind of adorable to watch him sleep. I saw his eyes flicker open slightly to look at me, but then immediately closed them again, falling back into his deep slumber.

Later that night, after locking up my office I decided to check up on The Joker since I hadn’t seen him since he had fallen asleep. I quickly and quietly unlocked the cell door, before any guards searched the hallways. When I entered his cell, I noticed that he was still asleep. I grabbed the chair sitting in the corner of the room and sat down while quietly watching him sleep. His breathing was steady as his chest raised up and down smoothly. He twitched slightly and then licked his lips like he always did. I giggled, now knowing that he even licked his lips in his sleep. One of his eyes opened to look at what was making the noise. He looked directly at me and then opened both of his eyes.

“What are you giggling at?” he asked in raspy voice.

“Oh, nothing.”

“Why are you watching me sleep?”

“I was waiting for you to wake up. I wanted to talk to you privately,” I whispered to him.

“What happened?” he asked, quite confused.

“The drugs you were given were too strong. They knocked you out and you’ve been asleep ever since our session.”

“Ah, yes. I remember.”

A silence surrounded us, but it wasn’t awkward. It was quite comfortable.

“About yesterday, I know I should have done something to help you, but I didn’t know what to say without ruining my reputation in Arkham. What did they do to you? They didn’t hurt you too much, did they?” I questioned, sincerely worried for him.

“Nothing I can’t handle. And I believe whatever doesn’t kill you simply makes you…stranger.” I smiled at this. “Why don’t you tell them the truth?” He asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Tell them what really happened.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Everyone thinks that I was going to rape you. That isn’t how I roll. You know that you’re just as much to blame as I am, yet you still blame it all on me. I was actually kind enough to take the fall and you should be happy that I didn’t tell any of the guards that you were the first one to come onto me. Now, go tell all of the guards and nurses that beautiful, innocent, little, perfect you wanted it to happen. Tell. Them. The. Truth.”

“I-I can’t,” I stuttered.

“Why? You scared that they might fire you? Scared of losing your little bit of reputation that you have? Scared that they might actually think you’re just as crazy as me for falling in love with a psychopath? Do you not want to lose your insane little bunny? You never know this might just be the last time you see me.”

“I’m not in love with you.”

“I. Hate. Liars.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Get out,” he said quietly.

“Wh-”

“GET. OUT,” He growled at me, making me jump in fear. I let out a whimper as I turned and left. I quickly closed the door and locked it, letting little tears fall down my face. I don’t even know why I was crying. I’d never witnessed him lash out like that and it really scared me. I was also upset because he was too. He was sincerely saddened that I wouldn’t tell the truth and because I said I didn’t love him. I choked on my tears all the way home, feeling stupid for crying over someone like him.

I was confused by what he meant by his last statement. I might never see him again? What’s that supposed to mean? I didn’t like his tone at all.