You and Me

A full year had passed so far. For the past year, I've been working and saving up for college when the next semester starts—which is very soon. I'm excited to go to college, finally. The only thing that I don’t like is that I’ll have to leave Frank here until I can come back home. However, I've been thinking about actually buying my own house somewhere between a college that I've already been accepted to and home, not that the college was very far. I haven’t come to that decision yet, mostly because money will be a horrid factor to face.

I got maybe ten hours of community service in over last summer—I didn’t do anything else after the first try. Instead, I spent my summer with Frank and working. I got a job, for the first time in my life, and wasted my first paycheck on music and magazines and a few energy drinks here and there, making my mom yell at me. Since, she's been giving me an allowance with my own money, but I can't blame her; I would’ve done that to myself, but I have little self control.

Frank has acted like such a leech, but in the best way. I swear I can't get enough of him. If I'm not trying to hang around him, he's trying to beg his mom to let me go over there, or let him come over to my house. I think it’s cute, especially when he hugs his mom and doesn’t let go until she says yes, but she almost always does anyway. I never used that tactic when I was younger, and now I wish that I thought of it. If it works on Frank’s mom, it definitely would’ve worked on mine.

Today, Frank was coming over for a few hours. According to his mom, he's taken an interest in love movies and noticed that the two people in love usually live together and he wants to live with me now. Honestly, that made my fucking day. Frank saying that he wanted to live with me was just utter bliss. So now, I'm definitely considering that house. Of course, I would need some financial help, and if it was too expensive to actually go to college, then I could do it online; the college that accepted me had online courses as well, so it wouldn’t be too much of a problem.

“Gerard, Frank's at the door,” my mom hollered from her room. I jogged to the door to answer it and saw Frank there with a big smile on his face. Linda was in her car on one side of the driveway, waving at me. I waved at her and she drove away.

“Hi,” I said brightly, kissing Frank's cheek. He giggled and came into the house when I moved away.

“Hi Gerard,” Frank said.

Every time he comes over, he won't do anything without me doing it first. If I tell him to sit on the couch, he waits for me to first. He seems a bit apprehensive when he's over here, but I don’t mind at all. I just wish that he got a little more comfortable in my house. However, he's definitely come out of his shell since his first visit.

Mikey came down the stairs after finally getting dressed; I didn’t want him to walk around in his dirty boxers while Frank was here. My mom and I see enough of that—there's no sense in making Frank suffer as well.

“Hey Frank,” Mikey smiled. He walked to Frank and hugged him quickly and gently.

“H-Hi Mikey,” Frank said, hugging Mikey quickly too.

Another thing I'm proud of; Mikey. Since our little conversation at Frank's house, he's become a better person … slightly. He still makes fun of the physically disabled at times, and old people, and sometimes people’s appearances, but he doesn’t talk bad about Frank and he's not mean to him anymore. He actually played video games with him for nearly six hours when I had to go into work the day that Frank came over. I was surprised to learn that. Frank's no longer afraid of him either—except for when Frank beats him at a game and then Mikey screams and curses at the TV. The first time that happened, Frank ran away to my mom, nearly in tears. He thought Mikey was yelling at him.

“So you're spending the night this time, right?” I asked him.

“My mom said I could,” he said shyly. It was then that I noticed his bag. Mikey walked away with a mysterious smile on his face and got something from the kitchen. I ignored him. I took Frank's bag from him and walked upstairs, motioning him to follow me. He did, and I locked us in my room.

“How-How are you?” Frank asked me. He was still nervous.

“You don’t need to be nervous about anything Frank, and I've been great, thank you. How’ve you been?” I asked.

Frank blushed and dropped his head with a small smile on his perfect lips. I couldn’t help but lean over and kiss him for the second time today. He giggled some more and opened his mouth to speak.

“I'm good,” he said almost inaudibly. “My mom, she told me something yesterday.”

“What’d she tell you?” I asked, making myself more comfortable next to him on my bed.

“She told me about sex,” he whispered. He looked so embarrassed. I was shocked; his mom is only talking to him about sex now?

“Is this the first time that she's told you about sex?” I asked him.

“N-No. Last night, she told me a-about sex with two boys, not a girl and boy,” he said slowly. “She said that I should know about it soon.”

I didn’t say anything. What did she think we were going to do tonight? I can't honestly say that I've never thought about that in the past year, but I never actually considered it until recently. What if Linda could like, read minds or something? Maybe that’s why she explained to him what went down in a gay relationship.

“Oh, well, um-um … how do you feel about that?” I asked stupidly.

Honestly? How do you feel about that? Am I his fucking shrink now? God, I'm so damn stupid.

“I kind of…”

Frank didn’t say anything. He looked down in his lap and didn’t say another word for nearly five minutes. I waited patiently for an answer, but decided that he wasn’t going to give me one any time soon, apparently.

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” I said. The silence was too much. It was so awkward and I didn’t want to carry on something that he felt uncomfortable with—if he even felt uncomfortable, that is.

“But … I want to,” he mumbled.

“Then tell me,” I said calmly. I rubbed his back, trying to be as gentle with him as possible. This was such a touchy subject.

“I just told you,” Frank said. He sounded frustrated, but he was trying not to show it if he was.

“Wait a minute, you want to … have sex?” I asked.

I swear to god my mind better not be playing tricks on me. If I say the wrong thing, Frank won't walk to me for a while. One time, I said that he was crazy and he didn’t talk to me for five days. I became a nervous wreck within those five days until my mom slapped me on the cheek, told me to get my stinky ass in the shower, and then call Frank and apologize. I have bad body odor, so I can see why she suggested that I showered first, especially for not doing so after five days. I called Frank and told him that I wasn’t thinking straight when I said it and he forgave me, thankfully.

“I-I think so,” he said.

My mind went into spastic fucking meltdown. What was I supposed to say? What was I supposed to do?

“Um, Frank, what exactly did your mom tell you?” I asked him nervously.

“She told me what happened and-and that it hurts for a while,” he said.

The only thing that crossed my mind was if Frank knew that I'm a virgin. I'm positive that he didn’t.

“Well yeah, if you're on the bottom, then it’s probably going to hurt pretty badly,” I told him honestly. I've never experienced it before, clearly, but I've heard stories. Some of those stories were damn descriptive too…

“Can we?” Frank asked me innocently.

“Frank,” I sighed heavily. “I don’t know. It’s a big step.”

“I love you,” Frank said out of nowhere, taking me by complete surprise.

“You love me?” I choked. He nodded, playing with his fingers. He refused to look at me. “Frank, are you all right?” I asked him.

He shook his head.

“What's wrong?” I asked.

Again, he shook his head.

“Frankie, I … I love you too,” I said in a small voice.

I might not have been bold when I said it, but god was it true. The truth is, is that I've technically been in love with Frank for the past month. He's the greatest thing I have right now, and I don’t want to lose him. I've been with him for a year, and I've apparently been good for him, according to Linda. I'm twenty now, so I’d like to believe that I'm mature enough to know what love feels like. I suppose there’s no real definition of love though; love is what you make it to be. I know this because I foolishly Googled what it was like to be in love and I didn’t really feel those things; my feelings were much stronger than their description.

“You do?” he asked. His eyes were wide and glossy. He looked like he was about to cry, which broke my heart.

“Of course I love you,” I said.

I took him into my arms and cradled him for god knows how long. He rested his head on my chest and I put my chin on the top of his head, holding his hand. The cat’s out of the bag now. I plan to tell Mikey that we can ‘officially’ be as lovey-dovey as we want since we’ve confessed to that now.

We stayed in our position for at least two hours. We’d occasionally talk, but it was mostly quiet, and I wasn’t complaining a bit.

“I-I like it when you hold me,” he said quietly.

“I like holding you,” I said, moving a bit to kiss his head.

Later on, Frank and I were called down for dinner. Unfortunately, we couldn’t miss out on dinner, so we went and ate and then came right back upstairs. My mom went to her room for an early night in and Mikey stayed downstairs with his video games. I suggested he was going to pull an all-nighter again.

Frank and I moved back to my bed, though this time he kind of took the lead for the first time in … ever. He was pulling me on top of him, giggling the whole time because I made these weird grunting noises due to the shock.

After a while, I asked him the final question before continuing.

“Are you sure?” I breathed against his lips.

“I think so,” he said.

“I need you to say yes, Frankie,” I mumbled before kissing him again.

“Yes.”

*****

I woke up feeling completely disorientated. I could feel the sheets tangled around my legs. I felt sweaty too, but I wasn’t. I looked over, nearest the wall, and saw Frank nestled up against it, hogging the pillows and blanket. His bare back was exposed to me. I pulled up the blanket a little to cover him up, not like he needed it after last night.

I never thought I’d be the one that made Frank cry so much. I felt like killing myself, to be honest. However, he was able to pull through and (I hope) enjoy his first love-making experience. I know I did, and I wouldn’t have done it with anyone else.

Carefully, I climbed out of bed and put some boxers and a shirt on and then went downstairs for something to drink. As expected, Mikey was still sitting on the floor with a controller in his hands. There were at least a dozen soda cans around him as well as all of the bags of chips we had in the house.

“Why don’t you sleep in the summer?” I asked, running a hand through my sex hair—I can proudly call it that now. My mom can’t say it’s a rat’s nest now.

“Why don’t you learn how to be quiet while you lose your virginity?” he retorted. He made sure to pause his game and then turned to look at me, pushing his glasses back up his nose.

“You heard me?” I whispered, making a face at him.

“Mom heard you. And you know she sleeps with earplugs in when I'm up all night. That’s really sad Gerard,” he said. He was smirking at me. “She tried to go up there to make sure that you weren’t having a nightmare or something, but I stopped her just in time and told her that that was not what was going down.”

“Shut up,” I groaned, rubbing my eyes roughly. I regretted that; it stung after I did it.

“You should’ve taken your own advice last night, but don’t worry; I won't hold you against it,” he smiled. Without another word, he turned his attention back to the screen, completely ignoring me.

I got two glasses of apple juice and some pain relief medicine for Frank and went back upstairs. When I got there, Frank was just starting to wake up.

“Good morning,” I said, sitting next to him on the bed.

“Hi,” he mumbled, sitting up with little comfort. He yawned, stretching his arms out. He nearly slapped me in the face, but I ducked in time.

“You can take pills, right?” I asked.

He nodded and rubbed his eyes. I gave him the two pills and the juice and he took them one at a time. He didn’t swallow straight away; he held the pill and juice in his mouth for nearly a minute each and then forced himself to swallow each of them.

“Do you not like pills?” I asked him once he was done.

“I get scared be-because I think they're gonna get stuck,” he said.

“Oh,” I said, nodding my head understandingly. “I was like that too once. I'm sure you'll get over one day though. I did,” I smiled at him. He smiled at me and I took his glass, setting it on the table next to my bed. Carefully, he lied back down and I did the same.

“One day Frank, I'm going to buy a house,” I said.

“You are?” he gasped.

“Yep. And do you wanna know who’s going to live in it?” I asked.

“Who?” he asked, looking at me.

I looked longingly into his beautiful eyes, noticing the different shades. I kissed his cheek and then gave him an answer.

“You and me,” I said.