You've Got to Hide Your Love Away

As Billie Joe walked up to Blackbird's bus, he was mentally preparing himself for the possible situations he could encounter. He had planned about ten different ways to say what he thought he wanted to say to Ava, even though he knew she'd probably throw him a curve ball so far-fetched that all of his plays would become worthless.

He knocked on the door, loud. He was getting a little heating at this point, to be honest.

“It's fucking open!” Came the answer. That didn't exactly sound like Ava.

He opened the door and walked up the stairway, found himself facing Danielle and Andy. The two were camped out on the floor in front of their TV, cheese curls, yo-yos, Heinekens, and twinkies littering the floor. The two were working their Atari controls with such concentration he was a little afraid to interrupt them.

“Hey, have you guys seen-”

“Billie Joe?” Danielle paused the game and set down the controller. She looked a bit more amused than confused by his presence. Andy was mirroring her look and raising his eyebrow. How much did they know?

“Yeah, hi. Have you guys seen Ava? I uh, need to ask her some questions about your set and-”

“Oh, I might know the answer.” Andy interjected, the smirk on Danielle's lips grew more profound.

“Well, you might, but she was also gonna give me this demo she'd been telling me about. It has some local California bands.” It was a weak cover, but it might work.

“That's what she was going to give you? I was under the impression that it was something else.” Danielle seemed quite proud of herself for that one.

“What demo? I can go get it for you, if you want.” Andy shrugged, having trouble keeping the grin from his face.

“Oh, I don't think she said the name. But she'll know what I'm talking about.”

“Well, we only have about... 25. I could look through them for you now, if you want..”

“Jesus Christ, Andy, can you just fucking tell me where she is?” The farce was over, there was no point in pretending anymore.

“Yeah, sure, man. She's up on the roof. I think the ladder's still down, in the back room.” The two blondes grinned.

“Thanks.” He nearly spat, making his way down the aisle. He grabbed the make-shift ladder they'd managed to create and hoisted himself up with a little more determination than necessary. Peaking up through the sunroof, he saw Ava, laying back on the hot metal exterior, aviators shielding her eyes. He pulled himself up and onto the roof, but she still didn't make any move to indicate she knew he was here.

Billie walked up next to her, stopping to sit and look out at the nearly setting sun.

“Have you ever wondered, Billie, why a raven is like a writing desk?”

“No, Alice.” He rolled his eyes out of habit, knowing that she wouldn't be able to see and probably wouldn't care if she could.

“Me either.” She grinned, finally turning towards him. She pushed herself up to a sitting position, shaking her hair and hitting him with the strands. “What are you wondering?”

“I'm wondering what exactly you think is going on here.”

“What exactly? Does there need to be an exactly?”

“What have you been smoking up here? You're turning all philosophical and shit.”

She ignored him, not even scowling in his direction. “I've found that most things in my life don't conform to predetermined labels. This is one of them. Can't you just ride it out?” At face value she sounded like a freak, but when he thought about it, maybe she was right.

“What, like its some crazed experiment?”

“I guess you could think of it like that, but it puts a bit of a negative spin on it. We're not Sid and Nancy, you know.”

“Is this how you treat all of your relationships?”

Ava scoffed. “Relationships? Please, do I look like 'serious relationship' girl to you?” She pulled the sunglasses down and looked him in the eye, like that might make him see who she really was or something, before pushing them back up and looking out into the sunset. “Besides,” She continued, a little softer and with less confidence than he'd heard her speak before.“I've had like, one relationship totally backfire on me, and the rest were all just 'some guy' that I never really gave a shit about. I watched my parents grow further apart until they couldn't stand to be in the house at the same time. I'm really not even 'relationship' girl at this point.”

He was quiet, considering, bringing his knees up towards his chest to rest his hands on. “But you want some sort of relationship with me.” He stated finally.

“Well, there's a reason for that; one I've never really had before.” She trailed off.

“And why's that?” She could hear the sarcasm dripping from his voice, harsh around the edges. He'd pretty much decided that she was about to confess to playing him from day one for some type of selfish reasoning.

She tried to turn the situation around, making her voice playful for a second, but there was an undertone of doubt under it. “Can you keep a secret, Armstrong?”

“What is it, Ava?” He sighed. Damn her and her games.

“Well, you see, the thing is,” She turned towards him, “I have a crush on you.” She smiled, bold, then looked into the distance again. “And as weird as the whole fucking thing seems, and as much as my gut tells me I should, I can't fucking stop.”

He watched her like she was some foreign creature, an extraordinary but terrifying site. He forgot the anger that had been building just moments before. He wasn't about to admit it, but her confession was a huge ego boost.

“You think I'm psycho, don't you?” She was being serious.

“What? Ava, no.” He laughed, but Ava wasn't finding the situation too funny. “Well, not for that at least.”

She smiled, hitting his arm playfully.

“Hey!” He exclaimed in mock outrage, ruined by his grin. He grabbed her arm roughly at first, then took her hand in his and looked at her.

“Can you keep a secret, Ava?”

She pushed her sunglasses on top of her head, pulling the hair out of her face and giving him an unimpeded view of her eyes. They were serious, and maybe a little nervous, but none the less breath taking and vibrant.

“I'm glad you feel that way,” She watched him without any change in her emotion. “Cause I'd hate to be the only one.” She grinned then, and for the first time, he leaned down and kissed her, all of the speeches and reasons he'd rehearsed on the walk over totally forgotten.

Ava's eyes fluttered closed as she kissed him back, opening her mouth for him. He ignored her, kissing her bottom lip gently, then moving to the top. His hands subtly took hold of her waist, pulling her onto his lap, one knee on each side on his legs. His tongue flicked her top lip, tasting her briefly before entering her mouth finally. She brought her hands around his neck, running one through his stiff, gelled hair as he deepened the kiss, pulling her even closer with a slight force that drove her half mad. She wanted him to grab her and push her up against a wall but at the same time loved his gentle, teasing lips; denial was half of the pleasure, after all.

Billie was surprised to find that he wasn't filled with guilt, as he should be while he kissed Ava. Yeah, there might be just a tinge now and a whole lot more later, but the need for her overpowered any other emotion he could have been feeling.

Ava forgot all of her doubts about the situation and gave herself over to one more kiss that never should have happened. For the first time in her life, she was blissfully unaware, and wanted to keep things that way.

Billie finally broke the kiss, pulling away and touching his forehead to hers. He kept his eyes half closed and down, catching his breath as Ava continued to run one hand through his hair, then brought the other to his cheek. He took his hand from her waist and placed it on top of hers so that he could touch her while she touched him.

“What happens now?”

He raised his head slowly, meeting her eyes as he pecked her lips one more time.

“Now,” He kissed her again, “We just 'ride it out'. Isn't that what you wanted?” She looked a little unsure, and it was setting him on edge.

“Just see where our 'crazed experiment' takes us?”

“Unless you have a better idea, I mean its not-”

“It's not like we're going to date or anything. It'd be weird with the tour and stuff.”

“Yeah,” He agreed distantly, not bringing any other reasons it would be weird to her attention. “Hey, do Andy and Danielle...know about this?” He tried to ask without sounding too worried or eager.

“Kind of. They just see through me like a damn wet t-shirt. Sometimes I'd like a little bit of space, you know?”

“Like now?”

She pulled away a little bit, and at first he was worried that he'd offended her. But then he saw that the look on her face was thoughtful, not angry.

“Yeah, I think I'd like that.” She answered. “I mean, I don't need the drama of the crew and tour, and I really don't need to be the next Avril, no offense.”

He grinned, putting his hands up in surrender. “None taken. Not that comparing me to that pussy Deryck isn't a huge insult.”

She smirked and he took her hand again, entwining their fingers. Ava looked down at their hands, not really sure what to think of them together, then back at his face, the uncertainty visible. “So, we're just gonna keep this quiet?” She chewed on her bottom lip.

“Whatever this is,” She smiled, but looked down. “If you want, that is,” He tried to play it off. “You can just be my little secret. That's hot.” She laughed, kissing him quick.

“Yeah, it is.”

God, she had no idea.