You've Got to Hide Your Love Away

Ava waited backstage for the doors to open the next night. She'd had a weird day, all in all. First she couldn't find her lighter, and going one morning without a cigarette definitely threw off the rest of the day's events; she couldn't get her hair right, one of her guitar strings snapped... Ava took her phone out of her pocket and checked the screen...no missed calls. She hadn't seen or heard from Billie Joe. That in itself was strange.

“Hey, kid,” Tre greeted, coming to stand beside her.

“Hey,” She grinned, happy for the company and maybe something normal for the first time all day. She'd even let him slide on calling her kid. Just the once.

“Billie didn't make it back to the bus 'til close to 4 last night. You know anything about that?” She should have known he'd start right in on it. It wasn't in Tre's nature to beat around the bush. He didn't care about shooting the shit, and hell, being blunt just came natural to him.

“Yeah, I heard it's supposed to rain tomorrow too. That's too bad, I was really enjoying the heat.” She didn't miss a beat.

“A-va,” He reprimanded half heartedly.

“Can't we talk about something else?” She pleaded.

He laughed outright at the look on her face. “Like what, kid, the weather?”

“I don't know. I'm getting a little tired of all the judgments.”

“I'm not judging anyone.” He put his hands up, trying to show her that he was staying neutral.

She scoffed. “Yeah, that's why you keep coming down on me so fucking hard.”

“Hey, I'm just trying to look out for you.”

“I told you, I can take care of myself, and fuck you for trying to help.”

“Jesus, Ava, Billie's not in his right mind now. He's a million different places and somehow, I think you might have something to do with that. I don't want you to get hurt.” He shrugged.

And then, out of nowhere, Ava kissed him. Maybe it was just some weird raging hormone, or maybe it was because he actually gave a shit about her. Or it could have been just to get back at Billie Joe. Come to think of it, the most likely explanation was that she just wanted him to shut the fuck up and stop trying to go all wise and parental on her. Any way, it proved to be disastrous.

The kiss itself was weird. Tre was a little freaked, but still kissed her back. Hey, he was just a guy, after all. Their teeth scraped and their mouths moved off target and out of sync. They both gasped for breath and Tre kept his eyes wide open, wondering what the hell was going on. Ava clamped hers shut, trying to pretend none of this was happening.

Cut her some slack, it was a fucking weird day.

Then, she felt a pair of strong arms grab her around the waist and pull her back, making her heart race out of her chest.

“What the FUCK are you doing?” Billie Joe. He was angry. Ava was scared shitless to turn around and look him in the eye. Tre stood immobile and watched her with wide eyes as she struggled against his grasp.

“Let go of me, asshole!” She yelled, trying to elbow him in the gut. She flailed against him, but Billie gripped her arms and held her in place. His face was too frozen with anger to show how much he was struggling to keep her still. Hell, she put up a good fight.

“Asshole? Me? Fucking hell, Ava!” He was seeing spots of hectic red infiltrate his vision. Ava could feel his arms shaking against her in anger. He stopped and looked up at Tre expectantly. “Fuck, man, really?”

“Bill, I-” Tre was starting to lift his hands up, showing his flat palms as an offering of peace. He figured that was better than any explanation he could give.

“Tre, just get the fuck out.” His breath seethed through his teeth, set in a defined clench. Billie Joe's eyes were stony and dark. Tre shook his head and left. What else could he do, really? He needed some space to piece all of this shit together.

When they were alone, Billie dropped Ava's arms and pushed her to the ground. She fell onto the hard floor with a dull thud and cursed. Ouch. She tried to hoist herself up with her palms, pulling herself to her knees. She pointedly caressed the spot on her arm where his grasp had left angry red marks and mumbled something incoherent. His ears were nearly ringing with anger as he scoffed. He hadn't grabbed her THAT hard.

“Get up.” His voice was clipped and clear.

“Don't tell me what to do-”

“I said, get up.” He wasn't in the mood to play her games. Not now.

Ava stood up on her feet, taking the time to be extra slow for effect. She turned around tentatively and waited. He was fuming; inhaling deep breaths in through his nose like a bull and arms crossing over his chest. Ava flinched and made sure to stand a good four feet away.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He asked, trying to hold onto his careful control. His hand was burning to strike her. She had never seen him so angry. In fact, she couldn't remember a time when he'd be angry with her at all, and this, well, try as she might to hide it, was a little scary.

Okay, it was fucking terrifying.

“Me? I can't believe you have the nerve to be angry with me,” She was proud of the way her voice held while she was nearly shaking.

“Ava, I just saw you practically trying to devour my best friend. How the fuck do you want me to take that?”

“This isn't exactly a closed relationship, is it?” She challenged, tilting her head. He balled his hands into clinched fists so that he wouldn't grab her and shake the hell out of her right then and there. “How can you possibly be angry with me, when you've been fucking married behind my back the entire time?”

“That isn't stopping you now, is it?” There was a nervous tick in his jaw. He was about to actually smack her this time.

“How dare you make me the bad guy in this situation,” She warned, appalled.

“You're not? Well what the hell are you? The victim? Poor Ava, deer in the fucking headlights? Everyone's just always trying to get one over on you, huh?”

“Who the hell do you think you are? You can't tell me what to do anymore than I can tell you. What right do you have to tell me who to kiss?”

“Fuck, Ava, it's different!” He shouted in defense. He tried to muster up reasons to be angry, reasons that he was justified and she wasn't. He came up blank.

She gave a loud, hard laugh. “Oh yeah? How fucking so?”

“Because-”

“Oh, right, because you're fucking married!” The words left her mouth and felt like sawdust in her throat, making her mouth dry and tears build up in her eyes until she wasn't even afraid anymore, just sad. That was certainly going to drive a wedge between them.

“Ava-” He warned, righteous thunder in his voice. How did she always come out on top of every spat?

“An eye for an eye, Billie,” She chocked out. Amidst his rage, Billie saw just how upset she was. He tried to ignore her glossy eyes and trembling lip, but as always, it got the best of him. He could feel the anger diffusing and melting away. Slowly.

“Ava,” He finally spoke when he'd managed to take a normal breath and sort his head out. His voice was soft, “Baby, come here.” He reached out an arm to touch her and she jerked back, turning away from him. Deny it as he may, that tugged on his heart. “Aves,” He pleaded as his hand touched the small of her back. Her shoulders were hunched over in agony. She shook her head. “I just, fuck, baby, when I saw you kissing Tre, I lost it.”

She laughed and the raw sound chilled his bones. “How do you think I fucking feel?” He really should have seen that one coming.

He sighed. Why did everything always lead back to this? “Why'd you do it?”

“I don't know,” She sighed, finally facing him but refusing to look him in the eye. “Because he was there and I could have him, if I wanted, no strings attached.”

“Do you want him?” He staggered back, affronted.

“Tre? No-” Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion and maybe repulsion. She didn't. And that thought wasn't just some Freudian reaction formation mechanism. Tre was a good looking guy and all, but Ava just wasn't interested. End of story.

“Then why?”

“Because, fuck, I just,” She laughed and shook her head, gesturing between their bodies. “I just needed to feel like I wasn't a piece of property, like I'm still me and nothing can take that away.”

That hurt. Had he treated her like that? He didn't let himself think too hard, afraid of the inevitable conclusion. “Is that how I make you feel?”

“No, that's how I make myself feel.” She stopped to look away. At the urging of his silence, she continued. “It's like...you have a hold over me. And even when I need to leave, I just can't.”

“I don't want you to feel like that, like I'm some asshole control freak.”

She smiled sadly, and it was as close to the truth as he was going to get. “I know, baby. And I know that you love me, I just sorta freaked.” She looked up at him at the end of the statement, scratching her head. He thought fleetingly about how fast her mind changed lanes : angry, afraid sad...and now, which one was this? Her eyes were apologetic, but she looked hurt, too. And vulnerable.

He kissed her, wiping out all of the doubt and the hurt. She gave herself over to the kiss, happy just for him to hold her again and glad that his anger had abated. He just couldn't stand to see her like that, and to know that he was the cause of her suffering, because try as he might to pin the blame on her, he knew that this was his fault. Billie Joe had never thought he'd fall in love with Ava, at first she was just a nuisance, then an escape, and now.... well, he didn't really know what the hell was going on now. He pulled away.

“I want you, Ava,” He framed her face roughly with his hands brushing back her stray hair. “This,” He shook her once for good measure, “This is what I want. This is why I love you. Not just because of who you could be or what you do or even because you do that thing with your-” She blushed bright red and smacked his arm. He chuckled, then turned serious, his voice soft. “But because I like you just the way you are, freak show and all.” He stuck out his tongue at her and she laughed, covering his hands with hers.

“You have me.” She said, and a whole new sense of vulnerability came over her. The weird part of it all was that she liked the way it felt.

Well, that was certainly going to come back to bite her in the ass.

***********************************************************************************

Tre burst into Mike's dressing room nearly freeing the door from its hinges. He locked it and turned, breathless.

“Knock much?” Mike asked, eyes concentrated on doing up the buttons on his shirt.

“Billie's probably stashing Ava's body by now, and I'm next in line.”

“Really? What'd you do this time?” He reached for a shoe, ignoring Tre's frantic outburst.

“Me? I didn't do shit! Fucking crazy ass girl stirring up another shit storm!”

“Crazy like clinically insane needs to be institutionalized crazy, or crazy like fatal attraction ass over tea kettle for Billie Joe crazy?”

“Hell if I know, probably both. Girl's got issues. Fucking kissed me out of nowhere!”

“Ava kissed you?” He had Mike's attention now.

“Yeah!” He paced, then stopped, raising a hand. “And I gotta say, it was not how I had imagined it. A little disappointing.” He added, reflective.

“You've thought about hooking up with her?” Mike arched an eyebrow.

“You didn't?” Tre countered, equally incredulous. “And when I say thought about it, I mean like thought about her body, not actually her. I can't handle those drama queen prima donna singers. Cramp my style, ya dig?” Mike gave him a blank stare. “That's beside the point. Crazy bitch just laid one on me, BAM!” He smacked the flattened palm of his hand against the table. Mike blinked at the sound.
“Outta fucking nowhere.”

“...Why?”

“I guess she just couldn't resist all of my charm. You know how the ladies are, always getting their hands all over me. I've got to beat 'em off with sticks. That doesn't even get rid of the really crazy ones.” He tried his best to look distressed.

“Oh, the agony,” Mike rolled his eyes and reached for a bottle of water. “What a difficult life you lead.”

“You don't know the half of it,” Tre grabbed the open bottle from Mike's hand and drank more than half before holding back out to him. “I mean, I know I'm gorgeous, but do they always have to be so grabby?”

Mike shot him a look and set the nearly empty bottle back on the counter top. “We'll deal with the grabby girl issues later. Right now, we have a bigger problem.” Mike sat on the counter top, looking at Tre expectantly.

Tre gave him a blank stare.

“Billie? And Ava? And the fact that Adrienne's going to be here in a week?”

“And that pertains to me because...?”

“Because he's your friend. And more importantly, we're friends with Adrienne too, and this shitstorm is spiraling out of control.”

“Mike, there's nothing we can do. He's fucking lost it for Ava and anything we say to Adrienne will kill their marriage.”

Mike was about to protest, then stopped and looked thoughtful. “So we just sit around and hope he straightens up and flies right?”

“Guess so.” Tre shrugged.

“We're fucked.”

“Yep.”