You've Got to Hide Your Love Away

Back in her dressing room, Ava paced.

She needed air.

And definitely a cigarette.

She scrambled through her purse slung over the back of a folding chair. The leather was so worn it looked like it might disintegrate with the slightest touch, but that didn't stop her from manhandling the old fabric. She found the cardboard pack of Marlboro's, and it felt light in the death clutch she held it in. She opened it, one lone cigarette stared back at her. She cursed under her breath as she pulled it out and held it between her lips, throwing the empty box behind her to join the melee of clutter. Lighter out of back pocket, cigarette lit, mission accomplished. She was finishing up a long drag when the door burst open.

Billie Joe, shirt wrinkled and hair disheveled.

This should be good.

She raised her eyebrow, holding the burning cigarette in between the two fingers of her right hand, the other on her hip, watching him in quiet amusement.

He stared at her expectantly, then rolled his eyes when she arched her eyebrows further. “What's going on?”

“I don't wanna talk about it,” She took another drag, then tapped the ashes from the tip of her cigarette onto the counter top, each shake of her hand precise and refined.

“Goddammit, Ava-” He started to warn and she could hear that familiar thunder growing in his voice.

“I said,” She cut in, words clipped and deliberate, “I don't want to talk about it,” She managed to stay level headed and indifferent, and she was proud of herself for the small victory. There was so much she wanted to say, but she knew none of it would help the situation.

He sighed and the anger had abated momentarily. “What are we going to do about-”

“We?” She laughed and the sound was so raw he visibly cringed. “There is no 'we' here, Billie. This is a you kind of thing.” She took another drag and looked up to practice her smoke ring's form. Not too shabby, she thought fleetingly before she felt Billie's strong arms push her against the wall. The shock of the collision between the back of her skull and the drywall made her snap out of it and stare into his open face- his stormy green eyes, flaring nostrils, lips set in a scowl. Ava had dropped the cigarette to the ground when he pinned her arms at her sides, but kept her form aside from that misstep. She cocked her head to the side, challenging his next move.

“What the hell do you think you're playing at?” And the anger was back in full force. She could feel his breath on her face, smell the familiar scent of his last cigarette barely concealed by an altoid.

“Me?” She scoffed. “What kind of fucking game are you playing? A thank you for playing happy families with you two just now would be nice.”

“A thank you? That was some of the weirdest shit I've ever seen!” His voice was a rough and rushed whisper to keep him from shoving her and screaming in her face. “Why don't the two of you just go on a fucking shopping spree with my damn credit card and have a nice chat about me over lunch? You can both bitch and laugh about all my annoying habits and quirks, it'll be a nice bonding experience.” He spat out.

“Fuck you. It's not my fault she came over and started up a conversation. What'd you want me to do, tell her to fuck off? I did you a favor.”

“That's what you call a favor? Then I'd love to know just what exactly that song was.”

Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, Billie Joe had gotten so fired up he'd dropped her hands to stop himself from squeezing the shit out of her arms. Bad move. She reached up and slapped him so quick he never even saw it coming.

“Fuck!” He staggered back, and brought his hands to the side of her face. She hit hard. She raised her hand to wind up for round two, but he caught her wrist mid swing and held it down. “What the hell was that for?”

“You're a prick,” She seethed, teeth clenched together.

“Oh yeah?” He pushed her back against the wall, using most of his weight to hold her back. She squirmed against him, refusing to look him in the eye. “What am I supposed to think after all the weird shit that just went down?”

Ava stopped squirming suddenly and looked him dead in the eye. “Are you angry at me because I had a fake as fuck conversation with your wife, or are you angry because I wrote that song?”

His eyes held hers, smoldering with anger before he stopped dead in his tracks. He dropped her arms and staggered back, but she didn't slap him this time. He ran a hand over his weary face and sighed. “Aves, I'm not angry at you.”

“You sure about that?” She asked cautiously, watching him with her back still pressed against the wall.

He took a deep breath, “Yeah, I'm sure. I just needed to talk to you.”

She stared back at him, biting her bottom lip to keep it from shaking. “If you came here to break up with me, you should just get it over with.”

His eyes shot up to her face and he stared at her for one beat, then shook his head in disbelief. “Is that why you think I came back here?”

“It's pretty obvious, Billie. Your wife's here, and she's fucking perfect. And this has been real run and all, but now it's over?” She hated the way her voice quivered on the last words, but couldn't stop it.

“Ava, I don't want to-”

“But you're going to.” Her strength had managed a momentary rebound. “You're going to have to choose, we both know it. But why would it be me?” There it was, the fear that she'd felt out in the open. If the truth was supposed to bring people closer together, then why had she never felt further from him than now? They'd both danced around the idea for weeks, but he'd never let it really plant a seed in his mind before.

“Baby,” He reached out to brush her shoulder, but she didn't respond to his touch. “I don't know what I'm going to choose.” She turned her head to stare at him, look him in the eye and see if he really meant it. She saw no reason to doubt him. And that was the closest to the truth that he could give her. “C'mere,” He motioned with the tilt of his head, holding his arms open.

Ava stepped into the circle of his arm tentatively, letting him hold her. She buried her face in his neck and breathed in his scent as he rubbed her back. She felt his breath in her ear just before he spoke.

“The song was good.” He said. “Fuck, it was brilliant, actually.”

“...But?” She prompted, pulling her face back to look at him. She had the funny feeling that wasn't all he had to say on the matter.

“But I don't want to see you hurting like that.” He answered, pushing that stubborn piece of stray hair back behind her ear. “I wish I didn't make you hurt like that. And I do love you, baby. You know that, right?” He gave her a quick shake to make his point.

“Yes,” She answered, eyes casting downward in thought, then back up to meet his when she was ready. “She liked it, Billie, how fucked up is that?”

And then, despite of the whole situation and all the tension, they both burst in laughter. It started out as a soft chuckle, then escalated to maniacal laughter that had both of them keeled over holding their middles. If you asked them now, neither one of them would have been able to pinpoint the piece of comedy in the whole shitstorm, but right then, the shared laughter said more than words ever could.

“Billie? Are you in here?” Ava jumped when the door opened, revealing Mike's head peaking around the corner. At his knowing glance, the pair managed to right themselves and Billie cleared his throat once for good measure. “Thought so,” He shrugged as he slipped through the door and locked it behind him, staring the the pair. He gave Ava a quick nod before turning his attention to Billie. “Come on, man, we're on soon.” He glanced between the two of them and raised his eyebrows. “What the hell were you guys even smoking back here? I could you assclowns all the way down the hall.”

“We're just talking, Mike.” He cut off quickly and shrugged off Mike's lingering glance. “Just go, I'll catch up with you in a minute.” He said, giving Mike another look that said more than the entire conversation.

After the door swung to a close, he watched Ava nervously.

“I've gotta go,” He said, breaking the silence.

She nodded, “Yeah, I gathered that much.”

He turned to leave, but came to a halt as his fingers circled around the door knob. He turned back to face her. “Hey,” He started, pursing his lips and knitting his eyebrows together. “Just, don't cross me off yet, okay? I mean it, I really don't know. We'll take later, yeah?”

“Yeah,” She smiled and nodded. He leaned forward to give her a quick kiss on the lips, and then he was gone.

Ava decided she'd skip out on Green Day's show tonight, seeing as she wasn't in the mood to watch side by side with Adrienne.

Adrienne. Perfect, beautiful, Adrienne.

She shook her head and told herself to snap out of it. Billie said not to cross him off yet, and she was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.
d.
She had to, what other choice did she have?

Just when she'd settled in with a bowl of good 'ole Orville and a one of the many Lifetime movies she'd snuck from Dylan's stash, there was a knock on the door.

“What the fuck,” She cursed under her breath, picking up the remote to pause the movie. She looked over to the microwave clock, 11:05. There was no way the show was over already, and her whole band had decided to stay behind to watch.

Intrigued, Ava stood up and went to answer the door. When she pulled it open, she gaped open mouthed at her visitor.

Standing at the bottom of the stairs was Adrienne, looking uncertain.

“Can I come in?”