You've Got to Hide Your Love Away

“And the Grammy Award for Rock Record of the Year goes to...Blackbird!”

Billie Joe's head popped up at the announcement and he felt Adrienne grow stiff next to him. He didn't need to look at her to notice the subtle change that took place under everyone else's radar. When you're with someone that long, you just know.

As the applause broke out around them, Billie Joe awkwardly brought his hands up to clap half heartedly while he discretely searched the auditorium for Ava. Adrienne followed suit. He caught Danielle's shocking blonde hair bouncing as she shoved Dylan in some kind of celebratory gesture and Andy pushed them both out into the aisle, a big smile plastered on his face. Ava followed last, chiding the band and ushering them toward the stage. She turned briefly to pose and smile once for the camera following them and Billie Joe's heart stopped all over again. Her hair was long, her eyes were bright, and her skin looked warm and soft. She looked exactly the same...and different too. Better than he remembered. When he allowed himself to really try and remember her – which was when, late nights on the tour bus, mornings in the shower and long drives around town?

Then she was gone, just as quickly as she'd come, gliding up to the stage in that little black dress. She shook hands with everyone, made some cliché speech no one, including Billie Joe and herself, would ever remember a word of, then walked backstage with her head held high and sense of pride that was nearly tangible.

She hadn't looked at him once.

But then again, he hadn't held onto any ridiculous expectations. Whether he liked it or not, she'd made it pretty fucking clear they weren't going to talk ever again and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it without earning a restraining order. After that conversation, Billie Joe crawled back to Adrienne on his hands and knees, told her he broke up with Ava and wanted, needed to fix things and start fresh. He did everything that Ava told him to.

But he still didn't have her.

Adrienne had flown home the morning after she found out about Ava. She said she needed some space and Billie Joe was glad. The last thing he needed then was a play by play analysis straight out of Dr. Phil's Relationship Rescue. Once the tour was over, they worked things out for the most part. After the screaming, crying, and dredging up fifteen years of issues, they'd compromised.

But Billie Joe knew nothing would ever be the same again.

Now there were times when Adrienne caught his mind wandering and he knew she suspected Ava was the culprit by the look on her face and the tired set of her eyes. Before she would have dismissed it as an idea for a song, or a frustration from the studio, but now she was always suspicious.

When he reached out to touch her, he knew she saw flashes of him and Ava together. Happy together.

Once she was out of sight he felt Adrienne start to relax beside him as the audience applauded and the cameras cut to a commercial break. Billie Joe wished he could do the same, but his body was taut like a coiled spring that needed to come undone.

She'd written him an album, and then he wrote back, of course.

And then she wrote back.

He wondered how long they'd go. Ava still swam around his head and he wasn't about to put her to rest anytime soon – hell, he had enough material on her to last a lifetime.

And if it was up to him, they would.
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Ava hated parties.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. Usually if there was alcohol, cigarettes, loud music and some dark, empty rooms she made out okay. But these after parties were something else – a bunch of pretentious fucks mingling and complementing each other on their latest sports cars and hairstyles.

Ava stopped in her train of thought to wonder briefly if she'd never gotten over all the high school bullshit.

She was currently sitting next to some something or other who had taken Andy's vacant seat and started up a conversation before the upholstery had a second to cool. Ava guessed he was important, based on the Armani suit and Rolex watch he was sporting, but she didn't really give a shit. He was tall, dark, and devastatingly handsome – like a modern day James Dean who had barely had time to update his wardrobe after slipping out of the black and white poster. But Ava wasn't attracted to him, simple as that. And she was angry as hell.

Despite all of her hang ups she was trying her best to act interested, really she was. Ava was a flirt by nature; she knew when to laugh without even listening, how to shift in her seat just the slightest bit to angle her body towards him, and how to use her lips and eyes to do fatal damage.

And this poor schmuck was eating it up.

Ava almost felt bad for the guy, but she was hard pressed to remember the way he'd come over here, all flashy smiles and an air about him that screamed 'I'm taking you home tonight.'

That's where the almost part kicked in.

“So, we're at this dinner party down in the Lower East Side,” Ava nodded eagerly; she sensed a full out laugh complete with a bicep touch coming on. “And all of the sudden-”

“Fuck me! Is that Miss Ava? Rock and Roll's hottest and latest Barbie doll?” The nearly screeching voice put Ava's nerves on edge, but there was something familiar in it that set her heart off into an excited fluttering.

She whirled around and couldn't help but smile at the man standing to her right. He gave her his famous shit eating grin and smirked to himself as he approached her new friend, the foggiest edges of a plan forming in his mind. Her new friend who looked like he was about to shoot ten different shades of shit at the man who'd interrupted his home run story, and Tre was loving every one of them.

“Hey, Tre.” He leaned down to give her a kiss on the cheek and the gesture was so Hollywood it was laughable.

“Who's your buddy?” He asked, nodding to Mr. Rolex. He didn't even try to hide his amusement.

Ava shook herself back into the moment, doing her best to keep all the image bullshit up. “Oh, this is-” She was finishing and they both knew it, but Tre sensed it and saved her.

“Just leaving right?” Tre asked with an encouraging nod. The man looked so shocked by his command that he looked to Ava for defense. When she only provided a stifled laugh into the palm of her hand as consolation, her guest had little choice but to pick up his drink and dignity and march onward. “Hope you weren't getting too attached to that one. He looked dulls-ville.” Tre took the vacant and seat and rolled his eyes.

“Sometimes I wonder if you're too bold,” She scolded with the slightest playful tone in her voice.

“No such thing,” He waved his hand dismissively. “How you been, princess?”

Ava had kept in touch with Tre. At first she was calling him to get the skinny on Billie Joe, sure, but once she'd exhausted every possible way to beat around the bush and ask for information, he'd been a non biased long distance conosore. Despite their rocky past, the two turned out to be great friends.

Ava didn't know if Tre told Billie about their conversations – she never told him they were keeping a low profile, so it wasn't like she could get mad if he did. But something told her Tre had left Billie in the dark. Maybe it was because Tre thought it would hurt him, or maybe it was because Billie really wouldn't give a shit either way.

Ava didn't know which reason made her feel worse.

“I'm alright.” She gave him a lazy, easy smile. “What about you?”

“Baby, I'm always good. Lemme buy you a drink, kid.” He waved to the bartender.

“Tre, the drinks are free here.” Ava tried to hide her amusement by looking affronted.

“My point exactly. What do you think, I'm made of money?” He faked outrage and Ava laughed. Tre ordered her a drink while she looked up and down the bar, Ava didn't really care what it was as long as it wasn't fruity with a little umbrella in it. Tre didn't disappoint – the bartender came back with a Jack and Coke.

“So, you seeing anybody?Besides that hotshot, of course.” Ava rolled her eyes at his question, hand still coiled around her glass.

“Tre,” She admonished softly, trailing off and getting that hurt look in her eyes he remembered from all those years ago.

Tre got the message, but that didn't mean he wasn't about to stop his assault. “What? Five years is a damn long time to go without regular sex... or any sex.” He raised his eyebrows at the end, clearly curious.

She shook her head and gave a hard laugh. “Why must the topic of our conversation always come back to my shitty love life...or lack there of.”

“Okay, okay, point taken. What would you rather talk about, Billie Joe?” He asked nonchalantly as he took a generous sip from his beer bottle. Ava froze and shot Tre a wide eyed look of panic, which caused him to spew the alcohol in his mouth across the bar, earning a few sneers from the disgruntled starlets in attendance. He laughed outright at himself and Ava smacked him on the arm, impatient. “So that's a no?” She shot him a side long glance and he shrugged, reaching into the infamous contaminated nut bowl and shoving a handful in his mouth. “Y'know,” He said around the mouthful of half chewed cashews, “We've been workin' on the new album. Great stuff, if I do say so myself.” He pulled out that shit eating grin Ava had seen him wear on many occasions.

“I don't think you need my approval to boost your ego.” She trailed off, wondering what exactly he was getting at now.

He ignored the insult as usual, not letting the banter even break his train of thought. “Gotta say, all that shit, about you.” Ava blushed and couldn't help the crooked smile that won over her face. Tre looked a little too pleased with himself for her liking.

“What's your point?” She countered, trying her best to compose herself.

Tre shrugged and washed down the nuts with another hearty swig. “Billie boy's still hung up you, kid.” Ava got that far off look in her eye again like she was thinking about something hard. Tre didn't really want to know where her mind was off and running to all of the sudden. He wondered fleetingly if she went to the memories he caught Billie Joe wandering around all the time, then decided he didn't want to know for Adrienne's sake. Or Billie and Ava's.

“How is he?” She let herself ask after years of closing the door. Sure, she'd think about the past and how things had been, but she refused to let all of the could have beens in. She wasn't the type to play the regret game, if only because of that damn stubborn pride of hers that was always causing trouble.

“Still Billie, still heartbroken. You really did a number on him.”

“I think you've got your story backwards.” The words came out with more severity than she intended.

Tre picked up on her slip. “Don't tell me you're still bitter. Word 'round here is that you dumped him, plain and simple. He doesn't have a bitter bone in his body for you.”

She sighed and pushed her drink away just the slightest bit. “I'm not bitter. I just-” She paused and shook her head, eyes trained on the bottles of liquor arranged on the bar. “There's only ever going to be him.” She shrugged self deprecatingly. “And that's okay, I made the decision to make my own bed and lay in it.”

“You're giving up too easy. You should be happy.”

“I am happy. I have my music.” She justified more for own benefit than his.

“You know what I mean, kid.”

Ava shrugged and turned her attention back to her waiting drink. This wasn't the first time Tre had given her the spiel about moving on, and Ava wasn't about to change her mind. She knew no one could make her feel like Billie had, so why bother? Not that she wasn't angry as hell that she wasn't interested in someone, anyone else. When she put her drink back on the bar, she felt eyes boring into her back. She tried to shrug the feeling off, tapping her fingers on the bar in a familiar rhythm to distract herself – but she could still feel those eyes... She turned the slightest bit on the bar stool knowing well that curiosity had killed the cat...

When their eyes met, Ava felt that old burn build in her chest and spread through her body. It was slow, like honey, all the way from the roots of her hair to the tips of her toes. She remembered how that felt, what he smelled like and how he tasted. He lifted the side of his mouth into a small smile and his eyes shone as she stared back with her mouth ajar and eyes shining like glass. His smile turned into that infamous smirk at her reaction. Her cheeks turned his favorite flushed shade of red as she bit her lip and looked down to her hands resting in her lap.

Hey, he mouthed when she looked back up to catch his eye.

Hi, she smiled back, nearly gushing like a love sick thirteen year old. She looked vulnerable and uncertain, but she was no more willing to turn back around than he was.

Miss you, his eyes said, soft and solemn as his shoulders lifted infinitesimally. Ava was sure she was the only one who caught the movement.

I know, she nodded back with the slightest bow of her head. She really fucking knew.

He looked like he wanted to say something else – like he wanted to say a million other things. He had barely opened his mouth when Adrienne turned her head and let her fingers graze his left shoulder.

“Right, Billie?” She asked with a worried smile, sensing his distraction. Her knowing eyes drew him back to the present conversation.

And then he was gone, just like that. Again.

“So transparent,” Tre shook his head and made a clicking sound with his teeth behind his glass.

Ava frowned. “What's that?”

“Jesus, five years and you've still got it bad. Groupie bad.”

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

Tre nearly snorted. “Fine, you wanna play the denial game? That's just fine by me, kid. Just don't expect me to be a willing participant.” The unusual venom in his voice nearly made her jump. Sure, she could handle his sarcasm and playful banter – she could even handle tell it like it is Tre – but she wasn't sure how to approach a hostile Tre.

“I don't know what you want me to do.” She said just loud enough for him to hear over the noise of the bar. Her voice was broken and it got to him, made all of the fight leave him again.

He sighed and rubbed his temples in exhaustion. “I'm sorry, kid.”

They both knew that was the end. He glanced back at her and knew by the look in her eyes that he was forgiven, so he got up from the stool and made his way over to Mike.

Ava sighed and swirled the remaining liquid in her glass. Why was she always fucking everything up?

“Hi.”

Ava turned to face the unfamiliar voice. It belonged to a guy with bright blue eyes and a nervous smile. He was cute, in a Bambi lost in the forest of Celebrities kind of way.

“Hi,” She answered back, a small smile creeping onto her face and a warm feeling in her stomach that she hadn't felt in a while. “I'm Ava,” She extended her hand and flashed him a full smile.