Let's Get One Thing Straight,

I awoke in the mind-numbing heat, my body sticking to the leather couch. I was alone, and it was darker than it was before I fell asleep. I pulled myself off the couch, adjusting my clothing and flipping on a light, I looked at the locked door and I was disappointed to say at the least.

I was hoping Kennedy would be there when I got up, hoping we could talk through all the
stupidity. But to no surprise, he was gone, and there were no remnants of him ever even being in the house with me. My heart was even heavier walking up the stairs, remembering John’s face as he walked out of my room. I desperately needed to speak to him, needed to hear the forgiveness.

I searched for my phone, finally finding it in the bathroom. I had 45 new messages and 7 missed calls, I immediately tended to each message. Only two were from John, who expressed the sorrow he felt as our relationship, knowingly, came to an end.
I wrote back, my heart not being able to reach out via text message. I texted a simple, ‘Meet me somewhere, let me make things right.’ His answer was simple, ‘The lake’.
I grabbed my keys and ignored the time flashing 12:34 AM. I started my expedition towards the spot where we had all hung out before, where we all laughed and partied together. My heart felt relief when I spotted John sitting on the usual bench, the darkness bringing attention to his lack of dark pigmentation.

“John,” I whispered, in near tears.
“Macy, I know that I should’ve expected this, and I know you two are more than likely back together, but before we try and maintain an awkward friendship, tell me that you loved me the way I loved you. Tell me this wasn’t all a distraction, please, because I have this feeling in my head screaming that at me,” He was spitting words out.
“John,” I was a little hurt “I loved you, and I still do love you, maybe the love has changed, but when we were together, my love was honest.”
He sighed in relief and stared at the water, “What do we do now?”
“We move on, move forward, we change,” I spoke softly.
“I’ll miss us,” He kissed my cheek.
“And I will too, but happiness finds whoever is searching for it, John,” I faced him and brought my lips to his softly, his smile pressing against my lips, and I pulled away. I stood up and we walked to my car, exchanging a hug before driving off.

But I found myself once again, for the second time in two days at Kennedy & Jared’s apartment doorstep.

“Macy, I’m just gonna start giving you the key,” Jared kissed the top of my forehead and let me in.
“Where is he?” I questioned.
“In his room, I think he’s on the phone,” He shrugged and I flipped the hall light on and opened Kenny’s door slowly, he was sitting on his bed, his cell phone pressed to his ear.

He smiled lightly when I looked at him. I approached him slowly and he kissed my lips softly before getting back to his phone call. I didn’t bother to pay attention to his call and I ran my hands up and down his back feeling his spinal cord beneath my fingers.

“Love you too, bye.” He finished his call.

He turned around and lay next to me, “You didn’t tell me you were coming over.”
“I didn’t know I was,” I looked at his big brown eyes and his new moustache.
“Well, I was just getting ready for bed,” He pulled his shirt off.
“Did you want me to go? I will if you want,” I sat up.
“No, no. Stay the night with me. You want a shirt?” He questioned and I nodded admiring the muscles that appeared upon his shoulder blades when he reached for an old shirt. He handed me a tank top and smiled pulling me into his arms. I’m pretty sure my heart was beating at such an accelerated rate even he could feel it.
“It feels different this time,” He grinned.
“Because we’ve experienced something else,” I removed my clothing and slipped on his tank top.
“Is John pissed?”
“No, he understands, a little disappointed, but he’s okay with it.”
“He has such a huge heart; I owe him the world for helping us realize how bad we need each other.”
“Well, now’s not the time to thank him,” I looked at his room.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah,” He began to brush his teeth.
“How did it feel to sleep with someone else, like have sex with someone else?”
“Weird, because I was so used to you. So used to your reactions and your soft hands,” He wiped his mouth.
He turned to me, “You?”
“Different,” I answered.
“Just different?”
“Well of course it wasn’t your brown eyes and your soft hair and your calloused hands. It just wasn’t you, but with John, he was soft, he was affectionate.”
“Well, guess I have to out-do him now don’t I?” He smiled lovingly.
“Sex is the last thing on my mind Kenny,” I shot down his offer.

His smile was a little less bright, but he climbed into bed next to me and pulled me against him. I ran my hands up and down his arms, goose bumps forming on my own. It’d been such a long time since I’d touched him like that. His breath was steady against the back of my neck and slowly I found myself dozing off, returning to the slumber I was in hours before.