Let's Get One Thing Straight,

I sat silently, solemnly on my bed. My door shut, the look turned right in the lock position. I could hear faint voices, and a couple laughs every now and again.

There was a small knock on my door and I contemplated even really allowing another's presence. I foun myself face to face with Jared, his eyes still raging, but his face showing remorse.

"Can I come in?" He questioned quietly.

I nodded moving out of his way. He sat in the computer chair across from me, as I regained my position on my bed.

"Mace -- I'm sorry, I'm sorry for calling you a bitch in there, and a brat for that fact. But, you have to understand, we all have hard times, things we get into, but, we don't all just rollbounce out of Arizona like that. Kennedy went through a ton of bullshit for you, he bent over backwards for you, and that's how you treat him Macy? Come on, you know you were wrong in telling him you wouldn't marry him," He bit his lip slightly.
"Believe me Jared, I had my fair share of self-loathing moments, but I can't explain to you the thoughts that pulled me toward my decision. I was so young, he was so young, the band was touring, he was gonna feel pressured, so many things Jared," I pulled my knees to my chest.

He pressed his lips into a thin line and hugged me. I couldn't explain the way I felt in that exact moment. The one thing that repeated itself in my mind was acceptance.

"I'm sending Kennedy up here," He stood up.
"Please don't Jare," I begged.
"He's coming up here, and you're going to say what needs to be said Mace," He shut my door softly.

My mind was frantic, my body a little jumpy. I was such a changed person, he was so delicate, so beautiful, my mind remembering the shine in his eyes the last time I seen him. I heard the small knock and mumbled a 'Come in'.

He looked at me, I tried to smile, his face looking as if he was enduring a small amount of pain.

"All you had to say was yes Macy,"
"Kennedy, I couldn't, I was not ready for that. You were not ready for that. Even now, we still wouldn't be ready for that,"
"I don't even know why I'm up here than,"
"Kenny -- I'm sorry, I really am," I whispered, my voice cracking.
"Aren't we all?" He questioned quietly before leaving my room.

Where did I go from there? Who was I supposed to please? Where did my thoughts lay at the moment he left the room?

Kennedy was a huge part of my life. I closed my eyes repeating all the questions in my brain. My heart feeling heavy, myself feeling discouraged.

Why did I come back?