Let's Get One Thing Straight,

I stared directly at my dad, tears threatening to spill at any godforsaken moment.

"Kid, sometimes life just doesn't work that way,"
"Daddy, I just made a mistake,"
"I know Punkin, but you have to live with the decision,"

I should've just married him. I got up and walked up the stairs to my room. My time with Kennedy had been small, but I felt so strongly for him. My feelings came in a rush. My speech tweaked, my palms sweaty.

I stare into the picture of his eyes, the ones so full of love. Life. Trust. I sat up, and grabbed my keys. I ran down the stairs and into the garage pulling out faster than I ever have in my life.

I drove to his house, knocking at the door, looking half-decent. He opened the door.

"I made a mistake Kennedy,"
"What Macy?"
"Kenny, I should've married you. I should have, I shouldn't have said no to you,"
"Is this why you came back?"
"I don't know, I think, please just make me feel sane," I started to sob.
"What in the hell is going on," He sighed embracing me.

His lips were enticing and all I could think about were the times when those lips were attached to mine. There was never a second when I didn't miss him. I could lie to myself, and convince myself otherwise, but I always knew.

I knew when I walked onto the plane, and I knew when I first seen him again. I sat sobbing while he held me for minutes, his warm breath traveling down my back. I inhaled his smell, clean and fresh.

"Macy, I'm sorry, but I don't think I want to marry you," He whispered.
"Wha-" I whispered quietly.
"I- You- You know that day you walked out, everything was over,"
"I-"
"Everything we worked to build. The love, the trust, the togetherness."
"I'm so sorry Kenny," I stood up and walked to my car.

I had never felt so guilty. I had never felt so alone. And I had never wanted someone so much. And I definitely had never been denied anyone. I sat in my car as his front door closed, I felt embarrassed. I felt ashamed, and most of all, I felt helpless.

What did I do now? The whole reason I came back, just shot me down.