You Can't Break a Broken Heart

Bree's pov

I woke up to someone running their fingers up and down my side. I moved hoping they would stop, I may not be ticklish but that doesn't mean it wasn't annoying.

"Stop it," I groaned while moving away from the hand again.

"No," a voice responded before starting the movement once again.

I frowned and moved over except this time there wasn't any bunk left and I fell off. I groaned as my back hit the floor, I opened my eyes to see Zacky staring at me with amusement shining in his eyes.

"You okay?" He asked trying to hold in his laughter.

"Apparently falling off the bottom bunk hurts just as much as falling out of top ones."

"And how do you know this?"

I shrugged before sitting up, "This isn't my first tour, but first time getting a bottom bunk. Now what was the reason for my rude awakening?"

"I only wanted to invite you and Chase to a quick dinner before I have to start getting ready for tonight's show."

"Do you think he would hate me if I didn't tell him right away? I'm still trying to wrap my head around it."

Zacky paused for a minute before looking me straight in the eye. "My honest opinion? I think the longer you wait the harder it'll get but I think since he's so little you could take some time before telling him and he won't hate you."

I nodded mentally agreeing before standing up and offering him my hand, "That dinner invite still good?"

Zacky took my hand and wrapped me in a hug, "It always is."

"Even with a jealous Mrs. Vengeance?"

"When I find her I'll make sure she isn't a jealous person, kay?"

I smiled in response before walking to the front of the bus to find Jacoby showing Chase how to play guitar like he always did.

"You know he won't be able to play for a few more years right?" I commented shaking my head.

Chase looked up and gasped staring at Zacky in awe, "Auntie Bwree is that Zacky V?"

"It is, now you wanna grab your shoes so we can go grab dinner with him?"

Once dinner left my mouth Chase ran out of the room probably looking for his shoes. Jacoby stared at us in response, causing Zacky to shift uncomfortably.

"The guys and I were thinking of getting a tattoo in Derek's memory, care to join?" Jacoby suddenly asked.

"What are you guys getting and when?"

"Tomorrow, we haven't decided what though all we know is no lyrics. Its not like you don't have enough of those."

"Derek did all my tattoo's though." I replied feeling the tears bubbling.

"Giving up on tattoos then wouldn't be remembering him, ya know? I didn't think he'd want you to stop getting them, I'd think he'd want to get as many as you wanted." Zacky spoke up suddenly.

"Gotta finish those sides, since Papa Roach aren't on either yet," Jacoby added in a lighter note.

I nodded and wiped the solitary tear before hearing Chase run back into the room. Chase took one glance at me before wrapping his arms around my legs.

"It'll be okay auntie Bwree, just believe like daddy says."

I smiled softly and picked Chase up before glancing up to see Jacoby nodding silently agreeing what I was asking. Zacky quickly pulled us off the bus and into the closet restaurant.

- - -

"That was weird," Zacky stated walking back to my bus wearing his concert outfit. I kissed a sleeping Chase's forehead before looking at Zacky for an explanation.

"Well I went on to my bus to get ready and Amara wasn't there. What was weirder no one knew where she was."

"Maybe she went to grab a quick bite to eat like we did?" I offered before putting on my shoes. "You don't think she'd miss the concert do you?"

"No Amara isn't one to miss concerts, I just hope she's okay." Zacky replied offhandedly before glancing at what I was wearing. "Seriously? You spend all after-noon with me and you're decked out in Papa Roach wear."

"As you kindly put it 'I'm the un-official member of Papa Roach', why wouldn't I wear their clothes?"

"Because Avenged Sevenfold has cooler shirts."

I glanced down before shifting uncomfortably, "Derek designed the shirt."

"God I am such an idiot," Zacky mumbled before pulling me into a hug making me feel a little better. "I didn't mean it I swear, I'm sorry. I'm so so so sorry, please don't take it to heart."

I took a deep breath letting Zacky's scent comfort me, "It's fine."

"No its not, I'm so so so sorry. You can't begin to know how sorry I am." Zacky babbled on until I covered his mouth with my hand.

"It's fine, I promise," I told him before linking out hands together and pointing with my other hand. "Now Amy's here so lets go and you can put on a great show."

Zacky nodded and pulled me off the bus and started leading me towards the backstage area. Once inside Zacky pulled me closer while I scanned the area.

"Look there's Amara," I pointed her out before letting his hand go. "Now go talk to her, going on stage with nerves is bad luck."

He glanced at Amara before wrapping an arm around me and pulling me close, "Naw it's fine plus she's coming over here."

"You better explain later,” Amara told him in a bitter tone and with a frown.

"I don’t have to explain myself to you,” Zacky told him in an equally bitter tone.

I frowned and looked away not wanting to be the cause of this fight. Zacky had been friends with Amara a lot longer than he knew me and he would be friends with her after me.

"That was rude," I stated softly after I noticed she walked away.

"I agree that was bit rude of her," Zacky replied softly as well probably regretting it.

"I meant you were the rude one, she and I aren't on the best terms so she has reason to be bitter. You don't, so go apologize."

"I'm not apologizing, so stop telling me to-"

"Hey Bree! You coming on stage with us?" Jacoby asked jogging over to us. "I was thinking we could sing Lifeline together."

I nodded distantly knowing Derek would want me to sing on stage with them. "For Derek."

Jacoby nodded, "For Derek."

"Can you sing?" Zacky asked.

"Bree has the prettiest voice ever," Jacoby replied for me. "Don't let her tell you differently."

I rolled my eyes before burying my red cheeks into Zacky's shoulder.

"Aww did I make the lady bug blush?" Jacoby asked cooing at me.

"I'll kill you in your sleep don't think I won't Jacoby," I threatened while glaring at him.

Jacoby laughed before walking off. Zacky pulled me off and sat down so we could see the whole show from the side. I smiled at him and watched Jacoby introduce the first song.

"Derek loved them live," I commented during one of the songs.

"Really?" Zacky asked looking from me to the stage.

"Yea, we grew up in the same town they did and we went to every show. Once they heard me sing they decided I was the unofficial member. He moved to Vegas when I moved to Philadelphia, but no matter where we were the three of us were always family. That's how I landed the gig of being the chick in both scars videos."

"That's you?"

I nodded distantly, "Yea Jacoby always wanted me in a video and that was the only one I said yes to. That's a lie I was in Last Resort too but you can't tell."

"So you've known Jacoby almost your whole life?"

"Basically, I was one of the bridesmaids at his wedding. Derek was groomsman, it was very awkward walking down the isle with my brother sometimes Jacoby's sense of humor is just weird."

Zacky nodded but didn't get to reply since Jacoby choose that moment to call me on stage.

"Today the band lost someone very dear to us so in honor of him we're going to dedicate our last two songs to him. Derek's twin sister is here with us and she's going to be joining us. Some of you might know her as the unofficial fifth member of Papa Roach, ladies and gentleman I present Bree Parker."

Zacky shoved me on stage since I wasn't moving and from there Jacoby dragged me to the front of the stage. I shook my head as the beginning of Lifeline started.

"For Derek," I said into the mic before I started singing the first verse with Jacoby.

"When I was a boy
I didn't care about a thing
It was me and this world and a broken dream
I was blaming myself
For all that was goin' wrong

I was way out there
On the wrong side of town
And the ones that I loved
I started pushing 'em out
Then I realised
That it was all my fault"

I'm not going to lie I had fun singing Lifeline with Jacoby. Singing them live enough times I knew how explosive on stage but when someone else was on stage he know how to share the stage and not up stage the other person. Every once in a while I'd glance over to see Zacky staring at me with a huge smile on his face causing me to smile as well.

"I think for the last song we should do the song that made you famous Bree."

I shook my head before laughing, "Last resort?"

Jacoby rolled his eyes, "No, Scars, no one even knows you were in the Last Resort video."

"Scars it is."

I glanced up at Zacky once again before starting the song, I was doing fine until the chorus where the tears started.

"I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel."

The chorus was where I dropped my mic and ran off stage. Zacky pulled him into a hug and rubbed my back while I cried harder than I had earlier. It just wasn't fair, why'd he have to take Derek? Why?

"Why'd he have to take Derek? Why my twin, my savior, why my everything?" I cried out not understanding. It just wasn't how things were supposed to end.

I felt another pair of arms wrap around me and knew Papa Roach had just ended.

"Why?" I asked as I moved into Jacoby's arms knowing Zacky had to get ready for stage.

It just wasn't fair.

Jacoby held me tight while I just cried. I was glad I didn't wear makeup knowing it would have come off. I took a deep breath once they were over only to look up and see Adam talking to Amara. I glared knowing he was apologizing for me when I didn't want to apologize, I may have over reacted but I wasn't going to admit it.

"I'm going to bed, night," I told Jacoby before walking back to my bus.

Amy went back to her bus while I checked on Chase one last time. I climbed into my bunk before breaking down into tears. That night I cried myself to sleep and had a feeling it was the last. As I drifted between consciousness and unconsciousness, I felt someone climb into my bunk but didn't think much of it before falling asleep.

Is there anybody out there?
Can you pull me from this ocean of despair?
I'm drowning in the pain
Breaking down again
Looking for a lifeline