You Can't Break a Broken Heart

Amara’s P.O.V
I fell asleep around two AM, I had spent the last few hours texting Adam. It was kind of fun trading information through texts. I woke up to a hand on my shoulder shaking me awake. I reached for my phone to check the time and groaned when I realized it was six. “What?” I mumbled tiredly.

“Don’t you have someone to go report to?” I heard Brian’s voice whisper. I shook my head and turned over trying to go back to sleep.

“I quit. And I meant what I said. She can pay someone else to be her bitch,” I muttered keeping my face buried. Brian chuckled and sat on my bunk. I felt him rub my back lightly and yawn. "I hope Zacky's happy with her," I added with a roll of my eyes. That was the one downside to being best friends with a guy... They would toss you aside when they wanted to date someone. That girl just became more important than me until they have a stable relationship. I sighed at the thought. I felt like the odd person out in this tour. Originally I was coming to hang out with Zacky and the rest of Avenged but I know for a fact they’ll all like Bree and then she’ll know them all and I’ll be the one sitting in the corner texting Mandy.

I really wished My Chemical Romance had come instead of Papa Roach. Don’t get me wrong, the members of Papa Roach all seem nice but I feel like it’s them versus me. With Bree leading the group. I sighed deeply and rolled over to face Brian. He looked like he was half asleep sitting there, I laughed and pulled his arm so he was laying down. “Go to sleep if you’re tired Brian,” I smiled as he grinned. “Promise me that no matter how far Zacky’s relationship goes with Bree you’ll be on my side?” I asked softly as I felt my insecurities getting the better of me. He looked into my green eyes and frowned slightly.

“Why wouldn’t I be? You’re a close friend, actually more like a best friend. I’ll always be here for you, Mara,” I smiled at the sincerity that was shining behind his brown eyes. I hugged him tightly and buried my face in his chest.

“Thanks Brian,” I whispered.

“Any time, Mara,” I fell asleep curled up to Brian.

I woke up to someone shaking my shoulder and decided that if they make a routine out of this I’m going to kill them all in their sleep. “What?” I mumbled keeping my head on Brian’s chest.

“We’re almost where our next show is,” I nodded and rolled my eyes. I got up and pulled on the hoodie from last night. I tucked my hair into a ponytail and walked away from him. As soon as the bus was parked I walked off of it and called Mandy.

“I don’t want to be here anymore,” I told her quietly as I walked past the Papa Roach bus. “I know within a month’s time I’m gonna be the odd one out. I can’t do this,” I sighed. I heard Mandy sigh as well before she spoke.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine and you’re over exaggerating,” I shook my head as tears threatened to fall.

“I um… I should go I really don’t want to end up crying over the phone,” I whispered. If Mandy knew the truth then she’d understand. But I wasn’t going to end up crying and getting her pity. I leaned against the brick wall and slowly sat down, pulling my knees to my chest. “I’ll talk to you later Mandy,” She said I better and hung up after telling me that she hoped I felt better soon. I wiped at my eyes in frustration and sighed. I had heard Brian talking to Zacky last night about how her voice was amazing and it just made me feel that much worse. She’s this amazing millionaire producer and I’m just a stupid idiot. I sighed and decided to go work on turning Brian’s guitar since I was bored. He didn’t mind when I played around on it, so I think I’m gonna try and self-teach from now on since my teacher is obsessed with the millionaire producer.

I got backstage and noticed all of the sound people look at me before looking away. “Bitches,” I muttered as I walked over to where Brian’s guitar sat. I sat on a box near it and picked it up. Mary spoke up in a tone of disgust.

“You just told us no one on the sound crew was to touch Synyster’s guitars,” She stated with a glare.

“So shoot me. I’m not on the sound crew anymore and he told me that if he wasn’t going to tune it then I could do it,” I stated working on tuning his custom. I loved the pinstripes. “Besides, don’t you have other work to do…? Or coffee to go get?” I asked getting a wicked smile on my face.

I plugged it into an amp and made sure it sounded in tune. I smiled at my handiwork and then messed around with it. I smiled softly as I realized I ended up playing a little bit of ‘Still Waiting’ I closed my eyes and starting singing softly. “So am I still waiting for this world to stop hating. Can’t find a good reason. Can’t find hope to believe in. Drop dead a bullet to my head, your wonder like a gun in hands. You can’t change the state of the nation. We just need some motivation. These eyes have seen no conviction. Just lies and more contradiction. So tell me what would you say? I’d say it’s time, too late. So am I still waiting, for this world to stop hating. Can’t find a good reason. Can’t find hope to believe in.”

I heard clapping and blushed before looking up. I saw Adam standing there and the sound techs watching in awe. They were probably in awe at the fact that a rock star was clapping for me. I shrugged and put Brian’s guitar down. I pulled my iPod out of my pocket and tucked an earbud into my ear. I went through the music and decided on listening to something by people who weren’t on this tour. Although I did feel bad passing up ‘Unholy Confessions,’ I ended up landing on ‘Numb’ by Linkin Park. I grinned knowing that Chester did actually know my name. We had ended up talking since he came way too early for the show. I noticed Bree walk in with Zacky and Chase. Coby was behind them with the rest of Papa Roach. I looked back down at my iPod and sighed before singing along super softly.

“Tired of being what you want me to be. Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface. Don’t know what you’re expecting of me. Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes. Every step that I take is another mistake to you. I’ve become so numb, I can’t feel you there. I’ve become so tired, so much more aware. I’m becoming this, all I want to do is be more like me and less like you,” I let out a deep sigh and played with my fingers not wanting to pay any attention to this at the moment. I felt someone sit next to me and didn’t have to look up to know it was Adam.

“What’s wrong?” I shook my head. I wasn’t going to do this. He’d think I was paranoid if I told him my realizations.

“It’s nothing important,” I said it softly, and when I glanced up I noticed Zacky walked up.

“I wanted to apologize for yesterday. I was rude,” I nodded but didn’t speak up. I could tell by the tone in his voice that this was a semi-forced apology, but I knew Adam didn’t know better so I just acted like I accepted it. He smiled and walked back over to the Papa Roach people and Bree. I sighed at the dull ache I felt in my chest. This was something I’d have to get used to. Zacky picked up Chase as he asked and I bit my lip lightly. I sent a text to Mandy asking her if she thought Mel would give me my job back when I came back or if I should start looking for a different job, as I realized that if it was up to me… I wouldn’t be on this tour for much longer. She asked me if I’d gone on my date yet and I gasped realizing that was tonight. Everyone who was getting ready here was for a show tomorrow night, and because Papa Roach was shooting some footage for a DVD.

“So, when are we going out? And where?” I asked shyly after tucking my phone in my pocket. Adam grinned before standing up and offering his hand to me. I let him pull me up and let him lead me out of the area. “I’m gonna go change first,” I admitted nervously realizing I must look like a mess since all I did was throw on a hoodie and pull my hair up. I went and took a quick shower, I was still amazed that they had gotten a bus with one in it. I brushed my hair and changed into a My Chemical Romance shirt and some dark blue jeans. I pulled my shoes back on and put on some eyeliner and walked to the Three Days Grace bus to meet Adam.

I was just about there when I noticed Bree walk in with Chase and Zacky. Bree had mumbled something about forgetting something in the bus she needed for the video since Jacoby had asked her personally for help. Like she needs the money. I didn’t want to chance another fight because I knew that I’d end up hitting someone. I pulled out my phone and sent a quick text to Adam asking him if he could meet me back at the building since it was taking a little longer to get ready then I thought. I smiled softly as he agreed and walked over to the building to lean against. Within a minute or so Adam was walking up to me with a smile on his face.

I felt the corners of my mouth twitch up in a smile. He reached out to take my hand, and I let him. I looked away blushing as I felt a warm, tingly sensation I haven’t felt in a while, shoot up my arm. We walked a little ways away and ended up at a small restaurant. I ended up ordering a salad and we talked, it was really nice. I was glad that there wasn’t awkwardness between us. After we finished eating, he paid for it. And when I tried to give him money for my meal he refused to take it.

He grabbed my hand and we ended up walking around town. “You wanna see a movie?” He asked, I nodded with a smile. We walked up and looked at the movies and their starting times and then looked at each other to figure out which movie to see. We ended up seeing a random comedy and laughing at the stupidity. I smiled as we walked back towards the buses a few hours later. I gazed up at the starry night sky and smiled warmly.

“This was a lot of fun,” I admitted with a happy smile. Adam nodded while stroking the back of my hand with his thumb. I shivered in the cool night air and ended up blushing for what felt like the millionth time today as he pulled me into his side to keep me warm. “Thanks,” I whispered shyly. He grinned and said no problem.

We got back to the A7x bus and he smiled at me. “I’ll see you tomorrow. And we should do this again some time,” I nodded with a smile and ended up blushing yet again after he leaned in and kissed my cheek. “Goodnight Amara.”