You Can't Break a Broken Heart

Amara’s P.O.V
I saw Frank shake his head as he stood up. He then offered me his hand, which I took, and pulled me to my feet. “I want to talk about this,” I heard him say softly. “You want to go back to your room?” I shook my head and glanced at the table, seeing that I had caught Mandy’s eyes. She immediately looked away.

“If we talk anywhere in this house, you and eight others are going to know everything I say,” I stated nodding towards the table with my fists clenched. I walked over to the baby monitor she had turned on and turned it off. “You won’t need this. I’ve got Aiden handled,” I told Mandy with a slight glare. I walked up towards my room and heard Frank follow me.

“I really want to talk about this Mara. Where can we go? Because I really want to talk about this now,” I sighed and nodded as I checked on Aiden.

“Let’s just go someplace. I don’t care, as long as it’s not back on your bus,” Frank nodded and a smile came to his face.

“Let’s go to Starbucks!” I laughed softly and nodded. I picked up Aiden and grabbed his bag. “I got a cab over here though,” He admitted sheepishly. I rolled my eyes at him with a small smile on my face. I walked over to my dresser and picked up my keys and threw them at him. Frank caught them with a happy smile on his face.

“Oh my god! Amara is trusting me with her jeep… The apocalypse is coming,” I shook my head at his antics as I tucked my iPod, wallet, and phone into Aiden’s diaper bag. “Let us away!”

I followed Frank to the front door and then called back to Mandy. “I’ll be back later… Probably,” I stated. It’s not that I didn’t want to tell her anything, it was just I was annoyed and was hoping to be out until all of these losers in my home were gone. Frank called out his goodbyes and pulled me out to my Jeep. I groaned as I realized someone’s car was parked behind my Jeep. I just wanted to walk away and scream. Frank rubbed my arm before walking into the house.

“Hey whoever was stupid enough to park behind Amara’s Jeep better go move it before we drive over it. Rentals are expensive ya know,” He shouted as he walked back over to me and opened the back door to let me put Aiden in his seat. He also walked me around to the passenger seat to open the door for me.

“Thanks,” I mumbled with a soft smile as Ellie came out with Adam. Ellie had keys in her hand. “Can we just crush her car anyway?” I mumbled softer yet. Frank laughed at me and shook his head as he walked over to the driver’s side. Ellie kissed Adam before going to move her car. I just shook my head. Frank started the car, and pulled out after Ellie had moved out of the way. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes when she pulled her car back into the driveway and into my spot.

“So are you ready to start talking or?” He asked me as he turned the music off. I sighed and nodded knowing that it wouldn’t matter if I waited until Starbucks. “So, my main question is… Have you ever tried to… Go all the way?” He asked me, not able to even say it. I felt myself shiver as the realization came to me. I looked down at my lap and felt tears fall from my eyes. He looked over at me for a brief moment before looking back at the road. He pulled into Starbucks and parked. “Well?” I slowly nodded my head, and when I looked up he was staring at me with a blank expression on his face.

He opened his door and I heard him open the back door and pick up Aiden. I slowly stepped out and followed him as he locked my doors. We walked into Starbucks and sat at a table. He took the chair next to me. “Why did you?” He whispered softly.

“I cut in general, because I was depressed and it felt like a release… I know that’s not true, but it was. My dad wasn’t around. My mom was a whore who brought home a new guy each week. Half of her boyfriends would look me up and down… It was disgusting and degrading,” I told him softly. I took a deep breath as I remembered the time I had actually tried to end my life. “I was sixteen… Gonna be seventeen soon. Between school, and friends and everything else… I was just sick of everything. I was sick of being a ‘burden’ and a ‘nuisance.’ Everyone treated me that way. And before you ask, I met Zacky and Brian the next month.”

Frank nodded in understanding. “So I just decided on it. My mom wouldn’t be home. Dad came around every once in a while, but not often. It was too perfect,” I took a shuddering breath and finished my story in a whisper. “I started the water, and when it was full, I slit from my wrists to my elbows and got in.”

Frank nodded with a frown on his face. “You… Someone found you?” He asked nervously. I nodded and looked down at my shoes. He hates me now. “Who?” He asked softly.

“My cousin. He came and walked in the front door… And ended up finding me and calling 911,” I whispered softly. Frank looked over and arched an eyebrow at me. “He um… He doesn’t talk to me anymore. And it’s not cause I haven’t seen him or anything… He just doesn’t understand.”

“Well who is your cousin?” I shook my head at Frank with a soft smile.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve gotten over the fact that we’ll never talk again,” I stated although he was one of the only people I ever went to about things. “And I’ve got my priorities organized this time,” I added as I gently took Aiden from him. “Yes, I wouldn’t dream of doing anything so stupid. Not when I’ve worked so hard to get where I am,” I stated as I kissed the top of Aiden’s head. Frank nodded and pulled me into a tight hug.

“Good. Let’s get back to your place,” I nodded and got up. We headed back to the Jeep and then back to my home. I sighed when I realized the cars were still here. “I’ll pull up to the curb,” Frank stated as he did so to avoid parking behind the guests’ cars. We walked in and everyone was talking in hushed voices in the living room, I glanced into the kitchen and saw the dishes were still sitting on the table.

“I fucking made dinner. I didn’t eat any of what I made. So I sure as hell am not doing the dishes,” I announced to the room as everyone looked up. “I have a great idea. How about the five of you who invited yourselves over do the fucking dishes. And my kitchen better be fucking spotless,” I hissed in Adam, Matt, Zacky, Ellie and Craig’s direction.

“Five?” Ellie asked looking towards Brian and Bree. I nodded with a glare.

“Yes five. Mandy was just inviting Brian. And from the way Bree, Craig and Zacky came in, I’m assuming that Craig invited her. So that means the five of you can either wash the god damned dishes. Or you can each pay me thirty dollars for the plate, and an extra five if you had seconds,” They all looked shocked. Zacky especially. “I’m not kidding. I had originally planned on dinner for the two of them, some for myself and maybe some for Frank who I knew would come over anyway.”

“But, Amara..,” I heard Zacky start. I shook my head.

“No buts. Get to work. Sorry that you got dragged here Bree, hope you enjoyed the food,” I said softly. I didn’t want any more fighting. I was sick of fighting with people and making enemies. I sat on the couch with Frank and closed my eyes wanting the day to end.

“You’re a bitch,” Ellie stated with a scowl on her face.

“And you’re an unwanted guest. So either go clean… Or get the fuck out of this house. And if you refuse, I can call the police. I’m sure they would love to drag a trespasser away,” I stated as a smile found its way onto my face.