I Caught Myself

“Gaskarth!” my voice a shrilling scream, a sniggering from the room I had previously awoken from.

I was at this moment confronted with my reflection in the bathroom mirror- the cause for my scream of horror, “You are so dead.” my voice booming as loud as the rumble of thunder, bouncing off the walls to echo through the whole house.

Starring back at me was a picture of chaos; my appearance naturally dishevelled having just risen from sleep but with Gaskarth’s added grotesque in black pen. My face had been a canvas for Alex to let his creativity run wild, with only a black sharpie he had crafted me into a caricature. Thick black side burns framed my face, my eyebrows now outrageously bushy were retraced into a frown bordering a mono-brow, I had grown excessive nostril hair and an impressive moustache that curled downwards. As I stood frozen in mortification in front of the mirror a flash of light reflected off the mirror and behind me stood Alex in a fit of laughter with his camera, his head rolled back in hysterics at the ‘hilarious’ sight of me. His evil companion Jack beside him erupting into a spasm of laughter much like Alex, he held his hands on his stomach in attempt to restrain himself from laughing anymore as his belly ached from the excessive giggling.

Quickly I flicked the taps of the sink basin on allowing the hot and cold water to pour steadily and merge into a flow of warm water that was a comfortable temperature for my skin. I cupped my hands under the water before splashing it onto my face, then grabbing the bar of soap I lathered the product into my hands to scrub my face with. Alex and Jack settled from their hysterical, belly roaring laughter though was still sharing the occasional chuckle as they recounted the event moments before.

The black ink was stubborn regardless of how aggressively I scrubbed my face, the harsh force was irritating my skin leaving it red raw. The drawings were still faintly apparent, an outline of Alex’s added features noticeable behind my now bright red skin. This is war I thought to myself…

***
Today was the kind of day that would’ve been better off spent staying in bed lazing around curled up in blankets. Everything unfolded disastrously and nothing ran smoothly for me. Gaskarth drew on my face, the last of the Fruit loops were eaten then I burnt my finger making myself an alternative breakfast that morning and finally, Ben was shitting me major. I wanted his undivided attention so badly; to be honest I thought the kiss we shared had changed the gears in our relationship. We’d been cruising in neutral and I felt like the kiss sent us into drive, ready to move somewhere forward…obviously not. Today marked the seventh day staying here in Iz’s holiday house, it had been great fun but at the same time I was getting fed up with everything, by everything I meant not getting my way with Ben and then dealing with everyone else’s habits and antics I had to share the house with. Between Rian’s heavy snoring, Gaskarth’s pranks, Jess’ nose butting into everyone’s business and Zack’s need to constantly be occupied and active, I was exhausted. My body had found a residence on the couch after giving in to finally collapsing on the light, fluffy cushions that appeared so soft. I hadn’t moved from the couch for a solid hour and half doing absolutely nothing but resting, I hadn’t lifted a finger and batted an eyelash even, I was that apathetic.

“Come on Cass.” Zack instructed as he passed by me heading towards the door.

I lifted my head to follow Zack’s figure and see what he was planning, “Where are you going?”

“We’re going to find you a spider to touch” he smirked deviously.

Instantly my head fell back onto the cushions no longer making the effort to prop myself upright. In a wordless response to Zack I scoffed at the absurdity of looking for the very thing I despised.

I heard Zack shuffle back towards the couch I was laying on, his sneakers scuffing the floor. Next minute, he obstructed my vision of the off white ceiling I was looking at while resting on my back. He hovered over the lounge to look down at me, an eyebrow cocked up and the same stupid smirk in place like a tattoo inked to him permanently. “If you don’t prove yourself now I’ll get Alex to annoy you the rest of the trip.”
Now it was my turn to match his smirk with a smug expression on my face, “I can tolerate Gaskarth easy for one more night.” My eyebrows raised as I had thought I’d set myself up for victory and dodged the bullet…or the spider.

“One more night?” he questioned sarcastically, “Ohh but you’re wrong, it’ll be one more week if you decide to bludge here angry Mario.”

I lifted my body so it was sitting upright on the lounge, looking at Zack in disbelief and surprise, “What?! Another week?” His answer was a simple nod to confirm his words were truth.

Another week sharing what seemed to shrink into a smaller confined house, spending time with the same people daily and unable to escape their habits that irritated me in the same way an itchy mosquito bite constantly needed to be scratched did. I craved privacy, to escape the presence of Ben yet whenever I had a minute to myself I yearned for his company, simply to look at him was enough to remind me of how badly I wanted to kiss him again. Having to live in the same house as him was dangerous, though not in a bad or threatening way… I loved knowing we were confined within the same walls yet it was this very limited space to breath and withdraw from each other that I despised. The thought of Ben these days left my stomach in knots-at times from anticipation and the thrill but at the worst of times they were twisted secrets sitting heavy in the pit of my stomach like a pool of guilt. My conscience knew this wasn’t healthy…it was Jess’ boyfriend I was thinking about here…

Shaking these thoughts was the sound of Zack’s laughter, his eyes squinting as his cheekbones rose from his growing wide grin that revealed his perfect set of teeth. I shot him a puzzled look to question the source of his amusement.

“You’re face…it’s priceless. Almost contorted into pain! Is another week of Gaskarth that bad?!” a wide, adorable grin goofily spread across his face.

Snapping my eyelids open and shut a few times, I blinked rapidly to focus back on the conversation at present that my thoughts of Ben had originally drifted me from. I relaxed the muscles in my face after realising they were tensed to an expression of ‘pain’. “Umm” I stuttered before breathing a laugh, “hmm…you don’t give me much choice do you? Alex or the spider…of course I’m going to pick the spider!”

***
I was confident Zack and I had searched the area surrounding the lake up and down at least twice to find a spider, a small part of me wanted to find one of the damn things so we could quit looking and I could resume back to doing absolutely nothing but lounging around. That small part of me evaporated in seconds to be replaced by fear when Zack called for me finding a small, ‘harmless’ brown Daddy long legs spider on a tree. It was disguised creatively crawling along the bark of the tree of a similar brown shade. I sucked in a deep fresh breath of air to try and calm my senses as I approached Zack, my heartbeat racing with every footstep taken forward. As I neared Zack my steps became more hesitant and smaller as his chants of encouragement to touch the creature became more persistent and frequent. When I was all of two steps away from touching the tree that Zack stood beside he extended his hand out for me to hold for reassurance, a grin playing on the side of his lips. I sighed taking his hand and closing the safety gap between the spider’s location and myself.

Zack pointed to the spider who was stationary on the bark, “You ready?” the small grin escaped that he was struggling to disguise.

I nodded with a face of uncertainty and disgust, “You’re so cruel to me, Merrick.”

He chuckled though his eyes were peeled wide, barely blinking not daring to miss my contact with the very thing I loathed. Slowly I raised my hand extending my index finger outwards while the rest of my fingers were curled inwards towards my fist. Gently at a steady pace the tip of my finger edged towards the tree highly hesitant, my face twisted in horror as I quickly forced my finger towards the tree before instantly withdrawing it back towards my side. The spider had now crawled under the bark in fright, probably because I practically squashed it with the tip of my finger. I shook my hand violently as my skin erupted in goose bumps. The idea of having touched the fury, eight-legged creature had sent chills through me. The expression Zack wore was one of surprise and pride, as he wrapped his arms around my waist suddenly to envelop me in a bear hug, he lifted my feet off the ground spinning me around in joy. Light dizzy spells whooshed to my head but before I could protest for Zack to stop he had read my mind placing my feet firmly on the ground, letting me go.

“You did it! You touched a spider” he enthused whilst his hands shook my shoulders hyping me up.

I grinned, feeling the excitement after overcoming the initial shock and fear, “I did, didn’t I?!” Victory elating my mood while my chest swelled with pride and success.

Zack stuck his hand out for me to smack him a congratulatory high five, “We are celebrating this tonight.” he grinned as I slapped his hand with mine.

I laughed, “I didn’t realise celebrating ‘Cassie touches a spider’ was an occasion. If I’d known it involved a party and was worth drinking to I would’ve done it sooner!” I joked.

***
Zack followed through with his words, promising to celebrate the joyous occasion. Although it seemed pretty absurd to party because of touching a spider, however it was the equivalent of winning a sports match for me; the confrontation of overcoming my worst nightmare, a phobia plaguing me since childhood was an achievement worthy of drinking too. The household didn’t mind when Zack and I announced we would be acknowledging my efforts with loads of vodka and beer; everyone happily raised their cups to the occasion knocking back the alcohol. We all hit the alcohol heavily, the effects reaching us faster than expected. Izzy, Jess and I were in fits of giggles frequently whilst the boys were slurring and pushing around each other playfully in a drunken manner. My mood remained euphoric partly because I touched a spider and partly because of the magical potion I was drinking, known as vodka that had the power to send me riding on a cloud of joy and bliss.

Izzy had elbowed me in the ribs as she leaned towards Jess and I to share a few words in privacy, “Go sit with Gaskarth” she whispered with a cheeky grin on her face to me, her glazed over eyes staring in the direction of Alex who was currently busy storytelling to Rian.

Jess looped her arm through mine to shake it encouragingly, “Flirt with him, Cassie. Go make out already!” Jess’ face matching the excitement of Izzy’s.

Before I could comprehend what they were suggesting in my intoxicated manner and then manage to defend myself Izzy added, “She already has, Jess!”

They shared another fit of giggles together whilst I finished off the remaining combination of vodka and a dash of coke in my cup. Shaking my head I stood up before announcing I was going to the bathroom then refilling my drink. “We’re not finished this Cassie and Alex business just yet missy, we are going to talk about this when you get back!” Izzy said while tugging at the hem of the purple halter dress I wore.

I shoed her hand off of my dress and moved towards the bathroom, on my way I caught Jack rummaging through the pantry looking for food…he was plastered. We shared cuddles in the kitchen before I insist he let me go, he released me after I agreed to cook him kebabs once I was done peeing. I stumbled up the hallway to the bathroom hiding at the back corner of the house, I used the walls to support and steady me so I stayed upright. Hearing a sudden thump in the unlit bedroom before the bathroom scared the life out of me, my body relaxed when I recognised the voice mumbling a curse word.

I supported myself against the doorframe of the bedroom, “Are you okay?” I barely managed to spit out.

“Cassie?!”
I nodded knowing they could see my outline with the dim light bouncing off from the bathroom even though I couldn’t see them.
Next minute I felt the hand tug at mine pulling me further into the dark room, I kicked the door shut with my foot.
I pulled the body closer to mine instinctively, wrapping my arms around his torso and leaning closer to whisper in his ear, “I want you, Ben” my lips lightly grazing his ear as he pulled me closer towards him. The sound of Ben groaning was heard as he most probably struggled with his moral conscience; it was a battle of resisting temptation.

Softly I began making a path of gentle kisses down from his ear to along his neck, across his jaw line before moving to his lips where I settled, my lips finding a rhythm with his. My mood soared, his lips like ecstasy taking to infinity. The kiss was fiery, growing more intense before he pulled away though his arms still locked around me. “Do we have to do this now? I’m thinking of breaking up with Jess, can’t we wait?”

I moved back toward his lips mumbling as incoherently as he could form a sentence “But I want you now.” we kissed again, Ben was smiling into the kiss as he held my jaw to pull me softly into a more passionate kiss. Eventually he let go of my jaw, pulling away from the kiss and leading me to the door so I could sneak back out inconspicuously.

I savoured the taste of him on my lips once we finished making out, my cheeks were a blotchy red and my eyes bloodshot when I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror…but I didn’t care because the vodka and Ben had taken me to the clouds. Any senses and rationality had long evaded me. When I returned to Izzy and Jess they were still discussing the Gaskarth and Cassie affair, of course the stupid ‘school girl in love’ grin I wore had no chance of been hidden in my drunken state. The cause of my goofy grin was completely mistaken fortunately.

“Look at her, so young and in love, she is crushing soooo bad!” Izzy cooed whilst Jess poked at the dimples on my cheek “Aww Alex makes her grin like that!” she poked my cheeks again before adding “and she’s blushing!”

“Shut up you two!” I responded, playfully slapping their arms whilst they giggled with each other. “I am going to talk to Zack seen as you guys can’t help but tease me!” I announced standing upright; as I began walking away from them I overheard Jess point out to Iz that I was secretly making an excuse to talk to Gaskarth who was currently in conversation with Zack.

Up until this moment I had thought I was ridiculously drunk, the instance I began a conversation with Zack and Alex I knew I couldn’t compete on the intoxicated factor…they were plastered, if I were Lindsay Lohan they were Amy Winehouse. Their eyes were bloodshot, hair dishevelled, speech slurred, they were using each other for support to stand upright which was hopeless leaving them swaying from side to side and they were oblivious to the abnormal volume of their voice which echoed twice as loudly as anyone else’s.

“Cassie!” they greeted enthusiastically with wide welcoming arms to squish me into a bear hug, I was sandwiched between the two boys enveloped in their arms. When I snuck a peek at Izzy and Jess their faces were priceless; I caught them cooing an ‘Awww’ together before Jack and Ben approached them. Jack and Ben soon followed the girl’s gaze, their eyes moving to my direction both the boys witnessing the big cuddle Alex, Zack and I were now sharing for a seemingly long time…I began to worry the boys were so drunk that they’d fallen asleep on me.

Confirming they were awake was the voice of Zack, “Cassie?”

“Mmmm?” I mumbled, Alex’s body pushing me closer into Zack’s chest, my face feeling slightly squished.

“Is it true you promised Jack you’d cook him kebabs?” Zack questioned with hope in his voice.

I looked up to meet my eyes with Zack’s, smiling with a small nod to confirm I had.
“Will you cook me kebabs too?” he asked with puppy dog eyes resembling a hopeful little child.

“Of course, Merrick!”

I felt Alex wrap his arms around me tighter to pull me closer towards him, I felt his soft breath on my neck, “Will Cassie cook me kebabs as well?” he pulled a similar pleading face that Zack had.

“Nope!” I declined smug shaking my head before snuggling back towards Zack and pulling slightly away from Alex.

Alex stuck his bottom lip out into a pout, “Why not, Cass? You’re cooking Jack and Zack kebabs…”

“Because Zack and Jack didn’t make me into an angry Mario this morning with a permanent sharpie!” I smirked at his pathetic pout, I loved being in control and gaining my revenge, the alcohol made me feel so powerful.

Alex chuckled at the memory of his added details to my face before I whacked his chest to stop his amusement.
“Owww. Pleaseeeeee Cassieeeeeee? I’m sooo hungry and I wannnna kebabbb.” he whined drawing out the length of each word.

When I glanced over at the girl’s, Jack and Ben they were all still laughing at the sight of Alex getting hit in the gut by me previously. I turned around in Zack’s arms so I was resting into Zack’s chest though facing Alex now, Folding my arms across my chest, Alex pulled at them in attempt to unravel them and hug him back. “Say you’re Sorry, Alex”

“I’m sorryyyyyyy!” he blurted out desperately, he must’ve been pretty damn hungry.
A smile of satisfaction spread across my face “Good.”

Alex’s eyes widened in hope “Does that mean you’ll cook me kebabs now?!”

“No!” A cheeky grin planted on my face while Alex groaned, “Come on Zack, we’ll go cook YOU and JACK some kebabs.” I said tormenting Alex as I pulled Zack’s arm to lead him to the kitchen. “Jack, I’m making kebabs now!” I called out to him and which he responded by running away towards the kitchen immediately, cutting off the conversation between himself and Jess. Jess frowned, her mouth hanging half open with words dangling in mid sentence as Jack her listener left the conversation rapidly, confusion washing over her before she shrugged getting over it by turning towards Ben to talk. Ben wore a similar puzzled expression as Jess while he watched the boys and I file inside into the kitchen.

When we entered the kitchen I noticed Rian passed out on the kitchen floor, knocked right out by sleep, he was hidden behind the large kitchen marble counter.
“Rian” I groaned at his sleeping body that was spread across the floor, knowing he wouldn’t wake Zack, Jack and I simply dodged and stepped over him once our cooking commenced. It was a stupid idea when you thought about it, having myself as well as Merrick, Jack and even Alex (who insisted on helping even though I sternly reminded him he was not to have any) intoxicated attempt to cook. We were fools making our drunk selves highly prone to cuts and burns having been exposed to sharp utensils, knives and dangerous appliances like the stove.

The boys and I had an effective system running in the kitchen, Zack and I were in charge of chopping up the salad while Jack and Alex diced the meat and cooked it. It was fun cooking, Zack and I had competitions to see who could chop the fastest- both of us were delusional believing we were as skilled as Jamie Oliver. The chopping competitions distracted us from paying attention to how Jack and Alex were going with the meat; it wasn’t until Ben, Jess and Izzy stumbled inside whinging about a burnt smell that we realised the two boys had ruined the meat.

Overall though, surprisingly the kebabs were a warped kind of success, the four of us managed to cook without any casualties or injuries even though the kebab meat was burnt to charcoal- thanks to Gaskarth and Jack who were too busy pretending to hump each other then to watch the frypan. Zack and Ben sat upon the stool out of the kitchen on the opposite side of the marble bench, Ben with Jess seated on his lap while Izzy and Jack had moved to canodle on the couch hiding away from everyone’s watch. Alex was on the other side of the marble bench with me, helping serve the kebabs by tossing salad onto the pita bread and placing meat in them before wrapping them up.

Unfortunately for poor Rian, Alex had accidentally kicked him in the process causing him to wake though the smell of the burnt meat had lifted Rian from the kitchen floor without a complaint. He was rubbing his head obviously where Gaskarth’s clumsy foot had hit, and stumbled to the other side of the bench to take a seat next to Zack in hope of gaining a kebab too. I had served Zack, Ben and Jess a kebab and was halfway through making Rian one when Alex decided to spoon me standing up.

“Alex! ” I whinged while he rested his chin on top of my head.
I managed to finish making Rian’s kebab before Alex decided to envelop me in a cuddle so tight it was constricting my breathing, “Alex, please…can’t breathe!” I wheezed while pleading for him to loosen his grip.

“I’m sorry babe, I should’ve known I take your breath away.” he said smoothly while releasing me from the hug.

He began to make his way over to a seat with Zack and the others, but before he did, in a teasing manner I gently smacked his bum adding, “Oh stop it lover boy!”

Alex then kissed his two fingers before pretending to send the kiss my way in which I responded dramatically capturing a role that was somewhere in between an exhilarated fan girl and a smitten lovesick puppy who’d been wooed off her feet by her dream man.

When I absorbed the response of our audience, being the boys and Jess, I saw laughter at our little light hearted performance from all but one member who wore envious green eyes…