I Caught Myself
Blame it on the Alcohol?
Summer parties were always the best, people were guaranteed to go crazy and the walls bounced with energy. Ben’s party wasn’t your average summer party though-it was thousands of times better seen as it was the first one for the summer and teenagers had been running dry and working damn hard for the last semester of school. I found it way easier to drink at these parties- being sober at events like this I found painful for several reasons; some including the smell of alcohol/cigarettes or if they were real wasted spew on people’s breath, conversation was hella boring, illogical and slurred, drunk people seemed extreme and irrational while being highly annoying to baby-sit and control. So at Ben’s party tonight I found myself pumping my body with drinks feeling buzzed; Jess, Izzy and I were seated on Ben’s couch engaged in a conversation. It’s amazing how much funnier everything appears when you’ve been drinking, us girls were giggling or laughing at just about everything until Jess killed it and grossed me out.
“Ben is absolutely amazing in bed” she announced.
“ LALALALA DON’T WANT TO HEAR LALALA” I instantly covered my ears with my hands not wanting to here the graphic detail she was ready to provide while Izzy clamped Jess’ mouth shut with her hand.
“Whoa, we have not had enough drinks for that!” Izzy’s eyes widened in shock at how close she was to hearing the explicit details.
“What about you, Cass? Is there a boy?” she asked excited.
“What? A boy?” I questioned through giggles.
She just simply nodded with a big grin on her face.
“No!” I denied slapping her shoulder playfully.
“ What about the boys in our group? Would you ever consider any of them?” Izzy edged me on poking my sides making me ticklish and again giggle.
“Nope” I said shaking my head fast making my head spin.
“What about Zack?” Izzy asked quietly with a sad face, Jess looking at me with a similar look.
“Nooo” I answered quietly and confused-my drunken state contributing to complicating the situation.
“Why?” Jess whined. “You two would be soo cuteeee together”
I’m pretty sure it was the alcohol that made me super shocked because I didn’t think anyone saw Zack or I like that; he was like an older brother to me. Come to think of it I never looked at Zack or myself like that, as a couple because we’d always just been friends. I couldn’t seem to form any words so I just scrunched my face into a frown completely perplexed by the idea of Zack and I and again shook my head No as an answer. To avoid any further confusion or complication to our friendship I got up off the couch leaving the girls and knocked back a few shots-maybe more than a few. The last thing I wanted was for stupid ideas of Zack and I to be planted in my head and cause me to over analyse or over complicate things between us.
The shots seemed to have taken there course because my night started becoming hazy. I remember playing thumb wars with Rian and Jack briefly, then making Ben tacos (I have a drunk habit of cooking, weird? I know.) over a deep conversation about dolphins following almost falling asleep on Zack.
I heard a loud noise causing my eyes to jolt open so I was wide awake. It was Alex waking me up from my nap on Zack.
“ Dude, you’re such a fucking asshole! You woke her up! It took me forever to close her eyes and get her to sleep.” Zack spat at Alex.
“ Don’t be a douche, Merrick. You’re making her miss out on the party!” Alex slurred rather loudly while messing my hair.
“I’m gonna say hi to him, I’ll just, I’ll just be right there. I’m gonna say hi to him” I said to Zack pointing to a random guy and nodding.
“I’ll come with you” Zack said softly trying to help me up.
“I’m fine” I insisted, “Alex is going too” I said.
Next minute I was in a most fascinating conversation with this guy about my eyes…
“You think my eyes are pretty?” apparently I was almost in tears at the thought of how nice the guy was.
“Ok, we’re gonna get going” Zack said cutting off the conversation.
“That stranger was sooo nice”
“ Mmm real nice” Zack mused sarcastically
“He thought I had nice eyes! I said leaning on Zack’s shoulder for support
“ I bet that’s not the only thing he thought was nice..” Zack trailed off with a hint of annoyance in his voice.
“Zack, are you mad?” I asked a tear sliding down my cheek, the tone of Zack’s voice disturbed my drunken state.
“ He just has his man periods!” Alex skipped beside me helping Zack hold me up even
though he could barely walk straight.
“ No, Cassie.” Zack answered gently ignoring Alex’s comment. “ I gotta pee real bad” he murmured
“Go pee pee, Merrick” Alex instructed.
“I can’t leave you guys, this party is insane to the point where my head is spinning so your head’s must be insane right now. I’m surprised you two can stand let alone walk!”
I could see the concern on his face so I pulled out my phone doing the only thing that would keep Zack’s mind at ease to leave us in confidence. I dialled Rian’s number knowing he was the best at pacing himself and handling a fair amount of alcohol. I was struggling and challenged in focusing to read the names of my contacts; I pressed dial and ran into a spare bedroom with Zack and Alex in attempt to escape the noise of the party.
“ Hello?” the voice answered.
“ Rian! Can you come watch me for a minute please?”
“ Cassie?” he questioned
“ Yeah it’s me. It is Cassie. I know you. My name is Cassie. Come get me from the big green room.” I rambled.
“ Cassie, its Ben. You’ve called Ben. Do you need me or Rian?”
“ Hello? Rian?” a deeper voice interfered.
“No, it’s Ben. Who is this?” Ben asked confusion in his voice.
“ Ben! It’s Zack! Can you do me a favour and look after Cassie for two seconds because I need the bathroom but I can’t let her wander out of my eyesight, she’s smashed…and Alex isn’t in much of a state to help out right now” Zack pleaded
“Sure, no worries man. I’ll meet you outside near the bbq yeah?” Ben agreed.
“ Thanks heaps, dude. I owe you. See ya.”
Zack hung up the phone and lectured us not to leave Ben’s sight; we were to be on our best behaviour for Ben. Zack led Alex and I downstairs weaving through the crowd of people finally finding Ben, Zack exchanged a few words with him then hurried back disappearing through the sea of people. Jess appeared flashing a big smile when she saw the three of us, she waved to Alex and I then launched her lips onto Ben’s wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. I sat with Alex while Ben and Jess made out with each other; my eyes scanned the party bored until I made eye contact finally locking with the pool.
“I wanna go swimming” I whispered in Alex’s ear, my lips clumsily grazing his ear.
Alex responded with a smile and wide eyes and we laced our hands together easily sneaking away from Ben and Jess who were preoccupied. Alex led me through the crowd grasping my hand tightly till we finally reached the pool. A few people were seated around the pool, or making out around it, there was one drunk guy asleep on a blow up seat in the pool. Alex and I stepped up to the edge of the pool linking hands again with matching grins of exhilaration. “On the count of three we jump.” Alex’s eyes stared intensely into mine as I let a grin tug at the corner of my mouth. We tightened the grip of our hands before turning to face the water as Alex counted down “One, Two…Three!”
Before we dove in we stole another glance at each other laughing as we leaped from the side of the pool into the refreshingly cool water. When we surfaced for air we paddled instantly to stay afloat, swimming to the shallow end where we could stand and I bit my lower lip slightly anxious at how dark it was around the pool area; I could only faintly see Alex’s silhouette and face. As if he could read the worry and concern on my face through the darkness I felt his hand grasp mine again underwater. The distance between our faces was slowly closing until I could feel his sweet soft breath. Our lips met in a soft kiss as his arms wrapped around my waist and my fingers tangled through his hair. I pushed my lips onto his with more force causing him to match it making the kiss more fierce and passionate. My head was spinning while Alex and I were wrapped up and absorbed in the moment. It wasn’t until I heard someone calling my name, panic shaking in their voice that my mind snapped back to reality. I pulled away from his lips, “ We gotta get out” I whispered to Alex as I heard another voice call my name then Alex’s with similar concern.
As I began swimming to the step I saw a figure approaching the pool that was calling my name again. “I’m here!” I yelled back at the dark outline of a boy. “ Thank god” he sighed with relief, “Zack, I’ve got them both!” the deep voice called out. His strong sturdy and muscly arms reached down to pull me out of the pool, flexing as he did so. My eyes fought to focus on the details of the dark figure finally recognizing it as Ben! He sat me down outside of the pool while assisting Alex out of the pool. Izzy and Jack ran towards us, Izzy embracing me in a hug despite the fact I was soaking wet in what was now icy cold water that made Alex’s and my teeth chatter and goose bumps form all over our skin.
“ Are you guys alright?! We didn’t know where you were so we freaked!” Izzy questioned with stress and worry.
“ Fuck, thank god you’re ok.” Zack relaxed pushing the hair that was irritating and hovering over his eyes aside, “Let’s get you dried off and cleaned up, Missy.” he directed at me whilst scooping me up effortlessly in his arms cradling me in his chest.
“Ben is absolutely amazing in bed” she announced.
“ LALALALA DON’T WANT TO HEAR LALALA” I instantly covered my ears with my hands not wanting to here the graphic detail she was ready to provide while Izzy clamped Jess’ mouth shut with her hand.
“Whoa, we have not had enough drinks for that!” Izzy’s eyes widened in shock at how close she was to hearing the explicit details.
“What about you, Cass? Is there a boy?” she asked excited.
“What? A boy?” I questioned through giggles.
She just simply nodded with a big grin on her face.
“No!” I denied slapping her shoulder playfully.
“ What about the boys in our group? Would you ever consider any of them?” Izzy edged me on poking my sides making me ticklish and again giggle.
“Nope” I said shaking my head fast making my head spin.
“What about Zack?” Izzy asked quietly with a sad face, Jess looking at me with a similar look.
“Nooo” I answered quietly and confused-my drunken state contributing to complicating the situation.
“Why?” Jess whined. “You two would be soo cuteeee together”
I’m pretty sure it was the alcohol that made me super shocked because I didn’t think anyone saw Zack or I like that; he was like an older brother to me. Come to think of it I never looked at Zack or myself like that, as a couple because we’d always just been friends. I couldn’t seem to form any words so I just scrunched my face into a frown completely perplexed by the idea of Zack and I and again shook my head No as an answer. To avoid any further confusion or complication to our friendship I got up off the couch leaving the girls and knocked back a few shots-maybe more than a few. The last thing I wanted was for stupid ideas of Zack and I to be planted in my head and cause me to over analyse or over complicate things between us.
The shots seemed to have taken there course because my night started becoming hazy. I remember playing thumb wars with Rian and Jack briefly, then making Ben tacos (I have a drunk habit of cooking, weird? I know.) over a deep conversation about dolphins following almost falling asleep on Zack.
I heard a loud noise causing my eyes to jolt open so I was wide awake. It was Alex waking me up from my nap on Zack.
“ Dude, you’re such a fucking asshole! You woke her up! It took me forever to close her eyes and get her to sleep.” Zack spat at Alex.
“ Don’t be a douche, Merrick. You’re making her miss out on the party!” Alex slurred rather loudly while messing my hair.
“I’m gonna say hi to him, I’ll just, I’ll just be right there. I’m gonna say hi to him” I said to Zack pointing to a random guy and nodding.
“I’ll come with you” Zack said softly trying to help me up.
“I’m fine” I insisted, “Alex is going too” I said.
Next minute I was in a most fascinating conversation with this guy about my eyes…
“You think my eyes are pretty?” apparently I was almost in tears at the thought of how nice the guy was.
“Ok, we’re gonna get going” Zack said cutting off the conversation.
“That stranger was sooo nice”
“ Mmm real nice” Zack mused sarcastically
“He thought I had nice eyes! I said leaning on Zack’s shoulder for support
“ I bet that’s not the only thing he thought was nice..” Zack trailed off with a hint of annoyance in his voice.
“Zack, are you mad?” I asked a tear sliding down my cheek, the tone of Zack’s voice disturbed my drunken state.
“ He just has his man periods!” Alex skipped beside me helping Zack hold me up even
though he could barely walk straight.
“ No, Cassie.” Zack answered gently ignoring Alex’s comment. “ I gotta pee real bad” he murmured
“Go pee pee, Merrick” Alex instructed.
“I can’t leave you guys, this party is insane to the point where my head is spinning so your head’s must be insane right now. I’m surprised you two can stand let alone walk!”
I could see the concern on his face so I pulled out my phone doing the only thing that would keep Zack’s mind at ease to leave us in confidence. I dialled Rian’s number knowing he was the best at pacing himself and handling a fair amount of alcohol. I was struggling and challenged in focusing to read the names of my contacts; I pressed dial and ran into a spare bedroom with Zack and Alex in attempt to escape the noise of the party.
“ Hello?” the voice answered.
“ Rian! Can you come watch me for a minute please?”
“ Cassie?” he questioned
“ Yeah it’s me. It is Cassie. I know you. My name is Cassie. Come get me from the big green room.” I rambled.
“ Cassie, its Ben. You’ve called Ben. Do you need me or Rian?”
“ Hello? Rian?” a deeper voice interfered.
“No, it’s Ben. Who is this?” Ben asked confusion in his voice.
“ Ben! It’s Zack! Can you do me a favour and look after Cassie for two seconds because I need the bathroom but I can’t let her wander out of my eyesight, she’s smashed…and Alex isn’t in much of a state to help out right now” Zack pleaded
“Sure, no worries man. I’ll meet you outside near the bbq yeah?” Ben agreed.
“ Thanks heaps, dude. I owe you. See ya.”
Zack hung up the phone and lectured us not to leave Ben’s sight; we were to be on our best behaviour for Ben. Zack led Alex and I downstairs weaving through the crowd of people finally finding Ben, Zack exchanged a few words with him then hurried back disappearing through the sea of people. Jess appeared flashing a big smile when she saw the three of us, she waved to Alex and I then launched her lips onto Ben’s wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. I sat with Alex while Ben and Jess made out with each other; my eyes scanned the party bored until I made eye contact finally locking with the pool.
“I wanna go swimming” I whispered in Alex’s ear, my lips clumsily grazing his ear.
Alex responded with a smile and wide eyes and we laced our hands together easily sneaking away from Ben and Jess who were preoccupied. Alex led me through the crowd grasping my hand tightly till we finally reached the pool. A few people were seated around the pool, or making out around it, there was one drunk guy asleep on a blow up seat in the pool. Alex and I stepped up to the edge of the pool linking hands again with matching grins of exhilaration. “On the count of three we jump.” Alex’s eyes stared intensely into mine as I let a grin tug at the corner of my mouth. We tightened the grip of our hands before turning to face the water as Alex counted down “One, Two…Three!”
Before we dove in we stole another glance at each other laughing as we leaped from the side of the pool into the refreshingly cool water. When we surfaced for air we paddled instantly to stay afloat, swimming to the shallow end where we could stand and I bit my lower lip slightly anxious at how dark it was around the pool area; I could only faintly see Alex’s silhouette and face. As if he could read the worry and concern on my face through the darkness I felt his hand grasp mine again underwater. The distance between our faces was slowly closing until I could feel his sweet soft breath. Our lips met in a soft kiss as his arms wrapped around my waist and my fingers tangled through his hair. I pushed my lips onto his with more force causing him to match it making the kiss more fierce and passionate. My head was spinning while Alex and I were wrapped up and absorbed in the moment. It wasn’t until I heard someone calling my name, panic shaking in their voice that my mind snapped back to reality. I pulled away from his lips, “ We gotta get out” I whispered to Alex as I heard another voice call my name then Alex’s with similar concern.
As I began swimming to the step I saw a figure approaching the pool that was calling my name again. “I’m here!” I yelled back at the dark outline of a boy. “ Thank god” he sighed with relief, “Zack, I’ve got them both!” the deep voice called out. His strong sturdy and muscly arms reached down to pull me out of the pool, flexing as he did so. My eyes fought to focus on the details of the dark figure finally recognizing it as Ben! He sat me down outside of the pool while assisting Alex out of the pool. Izzy and Jack ran towards us, Izzy embracing me in a hug despite the fact I was soaking wet in what was now icy cold water that made Alex’s and my teeth chatter and goose bumps form all over our skin.
“ Are you guys alright?! We didn’t know where you were so we freaked!” Izzy questioned with stress and worry.
“ Fuck, thank god you’re ok.” Zack relaxed pushing the hair that was irritating and hovering over his eyes aside, “Let’s get you dried off and cleaned up, Missy.” he directed at me whilst scooping me up effortlessly in his arms cradling me in his chest.
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