I Caught Myself
Slurs and Headaches
I forced my body, which felt double the weight from my limbs that ached with fatigue, to roll over and my eyelids battled with the morning light to stay open and awake. I attempted to focus my eyes and beat the glare squinting with determination to find out where I was. The room was slightly familiar and my mind finally clicked as I registered the details of the room such as the mocha coloured walls, the soft white curtains draped across the large window and the fancy antique styled furniture such as the dresser that was decorated with photo frames or trophies. I recalled parts of the previous night piecing together clues as to where I was now; the ridiculous amount of trophies triggering my memory.
Only Ben could be the owner of so many trophies to reward him for all his sporting achievements and efforts- I was at Ben’s house. The large oversized ACDC t-shirt I was dressed in reaffirmed my conclusion, it was definitely Ben’s house I had crashed at and the shirt could only belong to Ben- a massive ACDC fan.
Mustering all the energy in my lethargic body I pushed myself to sit upright grumbling during the process as an immediate ache and dizzy spell rushed to my head. My vision blurred slightly before refocussing as I stood fully upright resisting my spinning head and weak knees’ plea to return to resting. I was heading for my clothes from the night before which were neatly folded on a lounge chair beside the dresser when I suddenly shrieked in shock as my bare feet stepped on something, rather someone.
It was Zack, who immediately stirred and groaned from my clumsy footwork landing on his hand. I exhaled a breath in relief as my heart rate calmed from the initial scare; Zack continued to stir and rolled over before resuming his deep slumber. Zack’s body was stretched and spread across the floor of the bedroom; I instantly shook my head and bit my bottom lip with guilt that Zack got stuck with the floor while I had the luxury of the whole double bed to myself. He was so foolish sometimes I thought to myself, we’d been best friends for years and he still felt bad for sharing a bed with me even when I insisted or more like forced him to share the comfortable bed because I felt guilty for leaving him on the floor!
I changed into my clothes from the party last night and gathered my stuff into my bag preparing to get home to shower and rest some more. Before leaving I decided to wake Zack up gently, he was barely awake when I thanked him; I then made the point to let him know I was leaving allowing him to move to the bed.
******
My much needed nap was interrupted by the vibration of my phone buzzing against my bedside table. I made myself a mental note instantly to turn my phone off when intending to gain a decent sleep in. Reaching for the noisy phone I stopped it from buzzing by attending the notification of a new message on the lit up screen; it was Zack.
get up lazy bum and come around to Ben’s now! everyone is awake and we’re having a BBQ for lunch. cya soon
I rolled my eyes laughing at Zack’s demand to go to Ben’s; he knew me too well knowing if he simply invited me to Ben’s I’d have declined complaining about how tired I was. Piecing together an outfit and painting on my face with make up to cover up the damage of a hard night of partying I was soon on my way to Ben’s.
“Finally the zombie has decided to surface! We thought you wouldn’t wake to see the light of day today” Rian exclaimed with enthusiasm, his perfect white piano key teeth revealed by his big smile.
“Yeah Cass, you hit the bottle hard last night” Ben said in what I perceived as a slightly annoyed tone.
“You look dead!” Jess added.
“Thanks Jess” I replied in a dull tone. “Where’s Gaskarth?” I asked after noticing he was the only one missing from the usual lot. Ben smirked immediately after the question left my lips.
“He’ll be lucky if he makes it out of bed tomorrow, Cass!” Jack grinned at the thought of his best friend’s ridiculous drunken state.
“How did you remain unscathed by the oh so wonderful aftermath of alcohol, Jack?!” I whinged wanting to know Jack’s secret to escaping a hangover after almost every party.
He simply shrugged with a look of confidence on his face- as if he was too good and immune to hangovers; though everyone could tell that even Jack couldn’t work out how he got so lucky.
“Maybe Jack knows how to handle his alcohol, Cassie? He knows his limit before he becomes Jack Baratrash.” Ben challenged, providing a detailed answer rather than Jack’s simple shrug.
I raised an eyebrow in disbelief at Ben’s uncalled for insult towards myself; his implication that I was ‘trashy’ last night had me in shock and rather offended.
“What, are you implying that I’m trashy, Ben?” I asked seeking affirmation that his intentions were to insult me; it was difficult to distinguish the line between Ben joking and Ben seriously offending you.
“Well trashy is kind of an understatement if we’re talking about last night” he said looking towards the group for support.
“That’s harsh, Ben. Don’t be a dick man.” Zack defended.
“Oh come on Zack. You of all people should know what I’m talking about. Whenever Cassie drinks she always ends up like a train wreck, messy and trashed for everyone else to clean up. She’s just not responsible and can’t handle the hard stuff!” Ben argued while I stood there with my arms crossed feeling the anger boil up inside me. The rest of the group remained silent and uncomfortable at the argument heating up in front of them. Before Zack had a chance to rebut Ben’s statement Ben had resumed to attacking me directly, “The fact you need a babysitter everytime you drink shows everyone that you’re both immature and selfish” he arrogantly stated attempting to humiliate me in front of everyone. I was still in so much shock at Ben’s rude outburst about my ‘behaviour’ last night.
“Hey! Shut the fuck up, Ben, ok? Why does it bother you so much anyway? You only had to babysit her once and you fucked that up so it won’t be happening again anytime soon so quit the bitching.” Zack said obviously fed up with the confrontation.
“Suppp” a weak voice interrupted approaching the group, it was Alex. He looked as bad as I did- he looked like death.
“I’m not responsible for her, man! I can’t help it that she decided to go fucking swimming and have a make out session playing tongue hockey with Gaskarth!” Ben’s voice lifted with anger as he intensified the conflict.
Everyone’s jaw dropped at the last part of Ben’s sentence, my eyes widened to the size of dinner plates in immediate shock. Jack cringed in his seat while my cheeks flushed a shade of red in embarrassment. Alex frowned clearly not remembering the events of last night like myself while Zack looked at me seeking confirmation of Ben’s accusation before he attempted to defend me again. I stood there speechless while again everyone sat in a silence so dead you could hear a pin dropping.
“Why the fuck did you tell them?!” Jack finally asked annoyed Ben let the secret slip.
“They all knew anyway, Jack! How do you think I found them? In the pool you could see the silhouettes of them practically punching each other with their lips the kiss was that aggressive!” Ben’s voice seeming extra loud amongst the quiet.
“That’s the last time I repeat Alex’s slurs to you” Jack murmured sinking in his seat, Izzy taking his hand in hers for comfort. Alex let his fingers run through his messy brown hair seeming regretful he’d let that simple slur slip. My eyes wandered to Zack, timid to look at him directly I stole a glance seeing disappointment written in his facial expression, his head hung low as if he felt my shame.
“Like it was going to stay a secret anyway” Jess added quietly sticking up for her arsehole of a boyfriend.
I shot her a look of disgust for agreeing with Ben; the countless amount of times I had stuck up for her and kept an eye on her at parties obviously meant nothing to her at the moment and that made me more irritable. Before I could say or do anything I may or may not have regretted I hastily turned on my heel and stormed out of Ben’s house towards my car, pulling my keys out of my pocket, gripping them so tightly they dug into my hands leaving marks. My jaw was clenched firmly while I grinded my teeth tightly together in anger trying to calm myself with deep breaths as I quickened my steps to the car.
“Cass!” a bell like voice cried out, “Don’t leave, please!”
I reached my car forcing the keys into the door unlocking and wrenching it open as I sat in the front seat ripping the seatbelt and clicking it secure. Izzy stood in front of my open door while Jack put his arm on it to hold it open; both doing a superb job at preventing me from slamming it shut and speeding off. The two caught their breath from running after me before attempting to speak.
“Cassie, just ignore Ben. He’s being a real jerk today.” Izzy pleaded.
“ I’m sorry he’s being such a dick, Cassie. Seriously, don’t take it personal” Jack added in all seriousness.
“Sorry guys, but I saw Ben’s inflated, arrogant ego today and honestly I don’t like it. So, if he doesn’t like my shit- which he made clear that he can’t fucking stand my drinking habits or ‘need’ for babysitting-then I don’t have to like or tolerate his shit. Nor should I have to watch Jess sit there being a pathetic friend while I cop verbal abuse from her agro boyfriend! I’m going home.”
Izzy knew that my decision was final and my bitter, frosty ambience wasn’t about to be thawed anytime soon. Knowing she was defeated she took a small step back while Jack slowly moved his arm away from my door following Izzy’s lead. The couple shared matching expressions of sadness aware they couldn’t cheer me up as I shot them an apologetic look for my diva behaviour and slowly drove off leaving them on the road with their hands linked watching my car travel into the distance.
Only Ben could be the owner of so many trophies to reward him for all his sporting achievements and efforts- I was at Ben’s house. The large oversized ACDC t-shirt I was dressed in reaffirmed my conclusion, it was definitely Ben’s house I had crashed at and the shirt could only belong to Ben- a massive ACDC fan.
Mustering all the energy in my lethargic body I pushed myself to sit upright grumbling during the process as an immediate ache and dizzy spell rushed to my head. My vision blurred slightly before refocussing as I stood fully upright resisting my spinning head and weak knees’ plea to return to resting. I was heading for my clothes from the night before which were neatly folded on a lounge chair beside the dresser when I suddenly shrieked in shock as my bare feet stepped on something, rather someone.
It was Zack, who immediately stirred and groaned from my clumsy footwork landing on his hand. I exhaled a breath in relief as my heart rate calmed from the initial scare; Zack continued to stir and rolled over before resuming his deep slumber. Zack’s body was stretched and spread across the floor of the bedroom; I instantly shook my head and bit my bottom lip with guilt that Zack got stuck with the floor while I had the luxury of the whole double bed to myself. He was so foolish sometimes I thought to myself, we’d been best friends for years and he still felt bad for sharing a bed with me even when I insisted or more like forced him to share the comfortable bed because I felt guilty for leaving him on the floor!
I changed into my clothes from the party last night and gathered my stuff into my bag preparing to get home to shower and rest some more. Before leaving I decided to wake Zack up gently, he was barely awake when I thanked him; I then made the point to let him know I was leaving allowing him to move to the bed.
******
My much needed nap was interrupted by the vibration of my phone buzzing against my bedside table. I made myself a mental note instantly to turn my phone off when intending to gain a decent sleep in. Reaching for the noisy phone I stopped it from buzzing by attending the notification of a new message on the lit up screen; it was Zack.
get up lazy bum and come around to Ben’s now! everyone is awake and we’re having a BBQ for lunch. cya soon
I rolled my eyes laughing at Zack’s demand to go to Ben’s; he knew me too well knowing if he simply invited me to Ben’s I’d have declined complaining about how tired I was. Piecing together an outfit and painting on my face with make up to cover up the damage of a hard night of partying I was soon on my way to Ben’s.
“Finally the zombie has decided to surface! We thought you wouldn’t wake to see the light of day today” Rian exclaimed with enthusiasm, his perfect white piano key teeth revealed by his big smile.
“Yeah Cass, you hit the bottle hard last night” Ben said in what I perceived as a slightly annoyed tone.
“You look dead!” Jess added.
“Thanks Jess” I replied in a dull tone. “Where’s Gaskarth?” I asked after noticing he was the only one missing from the usual lot. Ben smirked immediately after the question left my lips.
“He’ll be lucky if he makes it out of bed tomorrow, Cass!” Jack grinned at the thought of his best friend’s ridiculous drunken state.
“How did you remain unscathed by the oh so wonderful aftermath of alcohol, Jack?!” I whinged wanting to know Jack’s secret to escaping a hangover after almost every party.
He simply shrugged with a look of confidence on his face- as if he was too good and immune to hangovers; though everyone could tell that even Jack couldn’t work out how he got so lucky.
“Maybe Jack knows how to handle his alcohol, Cassie? He knows his limit before he becomes Jack Baratrash.” Ben challenged, providing a detailed answer rather than Jack’s simple shrug.
I raised an eyebrow in disbelief at Ben’s uncalled for insult towards myself; his implication that I was ‘trashy’ last night had me in shock and rather offended.
“What, are you implying that I’m trashy, Ben?” I asked seeking affirmation that his intentions were to insult me; it was difficult to distinguish the line between Ben joking and Ben seriously offending you.
“Well trashy is kind of an understatement if we’re talking about last night” he said looking towards the group for support.
“That’s harsh, Ben. Don’t be a dick man.” Zack defended.
“Oh come on Zack. You of all people should know what I’m talking about. Whenever Cassie drinks she always ends up like a train wreck, messy and trashed for everyone else to clean up. She’s just not responsible and can’t handle the hard stuff!” Ben argued while I stood there with my arms crossed feeling the anger boil up inside me. The rest of the group remained silent and uncomfortable at the argument heating up in front of them. Before Zack had a chance to rebut Ben’s statement Ben had resumed to attacking me directly, “The fact you need a babysitter everytime you drink shows everyone that you’re both immature and selfish” he arrogantly stated attempting to humiliate me in front of everyone. I was still in so much shock at Ben’s rude outburst about my ‘behaviour’ last night.
“Hey! Shut the fuck up, Ben, ok? Why does it bother you so much anyway? You only had to babysit her once and you fucked that up so it won’t be happening again anytime soon so quit the bitching.” Zack said obviously fed up with the confrontation.
“Suppp” a weak voice interrupted approaching the group, it was Alex. He looked as bad as I did- he looked like death.
“I’m not responsible for her, man! I can’t help it that she decided to go fucking swimming and have a make out session playing tongue hockey with Gaskarth!” Ben’s voice lifted with anger as he intensified the conflict.
Everyone’s jaw dropped at the last part of Ben’s sentence, my eyes widened to the size of dinner plates in immediate shock. Jack cringed in his seat while my cheeks flushed a shade of red in embarrassment. Alex frowned clearly not remembering the events of last night like myself while Zack looked at me seeking confirmation of Ben’s accusation before he attempted to defend me again. I stood there speechless while again everyone sat in a silence so dead you could hear a pin dropping.
“Why the fuck did you tell them?!” Jack finally asked annoyed Ben let the secret slip.
“They all knew anyway, Jack! How do you think I found them? In the pool you could see the silhouettes of them practically punching each other with their lips the kiss was that aggressive!” Ben’s voice seeming extra loud amongst the quiet.
“That’s the last time I repeat Alex’s slurs to you” Jack murmured sinking in his seat, Izzy taking his hand in hers for comfort. Alex let his fingers run through his messy brown hair seeming regretful he’d let that simple slur slip. My eyes wandered to Zack, timid to look at him directly I stole a glance seeing disappointment written in his facial expression, his head hung low as if he felt my shame.
“Like it was going to stay a secret anyway” Jess added quietly sticking up for her arsehole of a boyfriend.
I shot her a look of disgust for agreeing with Ben; the countless amount of times I had stuck up for her and kept an eye on her at parties obviously meant nothing to her at the moment and that made me more irritable. Before I could say or do anything I may or may not have regretted I hastily turned on my heel and stormed out of Ben’s house towards my car, pulling my keys out of my pocket, gripping them so tightly they dug into my hands leaving marks. My jaw was clenched firmly while I grinded my teeth tightly together in anger trying to calm myself with deep breaths as I quickened my steps to the car.
“Cass!” a bell like voice cried out, “Don’t leave, please!”
I reached my car forcing the keys into the door unlocking and wrenching it open as I sat in the front seat ripping the seatbelt and clicking it secure. Izzy stood in front of my open door while Jack put his arm on it to hold it open; both doing a superb job at preventing me from slamming it shut and speeding off. The two caught their breath from running after me before attempting to speak.
“Cassie, just ignore Ben. He’s being a real jerk today.” Izzy pleaded.
“ I’m sorry he’s being such a dick, Cassie. Seriously, don’t take it personal” Jack added in all seriousness.
“Sorry guys, but I saw Ben’s inflated, arrogant ego today and honestly I don’t like it. So, if he doesn’t like my shit- which he made clear that he can’t fucking stand my drinking habits or ‘need’ for babysitting-then I don’t have to like or tolerate his shit. Nor should I have to watch Jess sit there being a pathetic friend while I cop verbal abuse from her agro boyfriend! I’m going home.”
Izzy knew that my decision was final and my bitter, frosty ambience wasn’t about to be thawed anytime soon. Knowing she was defeated she took a small step back while Jack slowly moved his arm away from my door following Izzy’s lead. The couple shared matching expressions of sadness aware they couldn’t cheer me up as I shot them an apologetic look for my diva behaviour and slowly drove off leaving them on the road with their hands linked watching my car travel into the distance.
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