I Caught Myself

Looking Up

“Something had to be in those fruit loops you ate this morning because you’re loopy! You just can’t stop giggling and it’s contagious!” Izzy laughed.

I’d decided to call Izzy earlier enlightening her of how Alex and I ‘uncomplicated the complication’ and informed her that I was going to cut Ben some slack instead of letting his words cut and wound me. Noticing my cheery mood or rather my ultimate high she took what she called ‘the fun option’ ditching Jack for the night to have a girl’s night. Iz and I always had fun at sleepovers doing absolutely anything, it was a guarantee we always got the giggles over something silly. We were currently in our pj’s curled up on the lounge watching Mean Girls indulging in everything wicked ranging from Tim Tam’s to Starburst lollies and berry gelato. Once the movie finished we did the typical girly stuff like flipping through various magazines, took several pictures of ourselves posing ridiculously and painted our nails and toes. As I applied a coat of shimmery lilac polish to my pinky finger I looked at Izzy to see her concentrating on polishing her nails with a pretty, bright summer pink shade.

“So how are you and Jack?” I asked her when I’d finished painting all the nails on my left hand. Izzy was still applying polish to her nails so she used that to look down slightly as an attempt to hide the blush creeping up her face.
A rosy pink graced her cheeks as she smiled shyly, “We’re good. He wants me to go with him to his cousin’s wedding.” she began to gnaw on her lower lip.

“And that’s a good or bad thing?” I questioned confused as to why she was suddenly anxious.

“It’s good” she began slowly, “It’s just that by going with him that means I’ll be meeting one whole side of his extended family and that makes me nervous. Like, what if they don’t like me?” slight fear flashed in her hazel eyes.

“Izzy, don’t be silly!” I insisted, “How can they not like you, Iz?! You’re a gorgeous person, trust me, you’ll capture their hearts and approval easy- especially when they see how happy you make Jack.” I smiled at her with confidence which invoked her to smile back.

“What about your love life? Anybody special?” she finished painting her nails gently blowing each nail dry.

I scoffed, “What love life? It’s non existent, Iz!” I laughed aware of my bitter undertone.

“You’ll find someone.” she said easily with confidence but I just couldn’t help but doubt it.
******

Seen as Jack refused to allow his girlfriend to be kidnapped by me or any of the others again (or refused to be ditched by his girlfriend...) he and Rian organised for the group to spend the day together at the beach.
It sounds stupid, but a part of me was slightly anxious that Ben was still irritated with me even though Zack had reasoned his anger it didn’t stop my paranoid self from taking his words personally. I respected Ben meaning his judgement or opinions mattered to me so to have to confront him for that first time after our conflict was nerve racking. The car ride to the beach was uncomfortable as the air was humid and sticky causing small beads of sweat to form on my forehead and my hands became clammy, though I wasn’t sure if that was the weather’s or my nerve’s fault. The clouds that covered the sky were beginning to fade to bring another intensely hot summer day by the time I arrived at the beach with Rian and Zack.
We spotted Izzy and Jess basking in the sun soaking up the rays in hope of gaining a killer bronzed tan while the boys were chucking a football back and forth to each other near the water. Zack unloaded his surfboard off the roof racks of the car while Rian and I gathered any other stuff to take. As we approached the group I set my towel down next to the girls while Rian and Zack headed straight for the game of catch.
The conversation between Izzy, Jess and myself flowed smoothly and flawlessly indicating Jess didn’t seem to care about the argument; Jess was the type to dismiss conflict and never confront it directly because instead her way of coping is to bitch to everyone else about it except the people involved who could potentially solve the problem. I felt at ease knowing that Jess was willing to put the tension past her but I was still curious whether Ben felt slightly guilty for embarrassing me, but knowing what Ben felt was like looking for a needle in a haystack, near impossible. He never clearly expressed his emotions, he was an unsolved puzzle really which could be another reason I guess why it bothered me so much that Ben released his anger at me. I inwardly sighed as I brought myself back to the present noticing Izzy’s and Jess’ eye’s staring at the ocean, my eyes followed.
There I saw Zack on his surf board riding the waves effortlessly, this time I sighed aloud “Why does Zack have to be so damn good at every sport he does?”

Breaking our daze was the sudden interruption of a football that came flying rapidly past my left shoulder, inches away from hitting my face, landing a little further behind where us girls were siting.

“That was so close man!” Alex was shaking his head in disbelief at my luck, the football was gliding through the air at such a pace it could have easily caused some bruising to my face.

“Whoa” was all Jess could offer realizing how wild the throw was after noticing the ball laying on the sand close behind me to the left.

“Go get the ball Ben and check she’s okay.” Jack urged Ben who was frozen where he had initially launched the football. He eventually snapped out of his daze jogging towards my direction “I’m so sorry Cassie! Are you alright?” Ben asked softly kneeling down to reach my eye level, our eyes locked in a stare. The first form of confrontation since the verbal boxing match, Geez he is so intense these days… was all I could think as my eyes revealed astonishment while his were wide with concern.

“Umm Yeah, I’m fine” I managed to stutter while slightly in shock, not because a stupid football was about to smash right into my face but because Ben actually listened to Jack. Normally Ben wouldn’t dare damage his man pride and apologise for such a shitty throw instead he’d just laugh at something like this but lately things between the two of us have become too complex to laugh everything off seen as he has already hit a nerve of mine. Knowing I was unscathed from his off aim he broke the stare to go retrieve the football, before returning to the guys he pecked Jess on the lips telling her he loved her.
Jess sat back almost smug like after the kiss rather satisfied, “ He’s just the sweetest” she swooned while her eyes followed Ben. Before Izzy or I had a chance to comment Zack came running out of the surf with his board approaching us.

“How was the surf?” I asked him as he dug the end of his board firmly into the sand and grabbed his towel to dry off.

“It’s awesome. The waves out there are killer!” he dried the water off of his face, “You girls haven’t even been in the water yet, have you?!” he observed noticing the three of us dry and our appearance in tact.

“No, but there’s sharks in there. Duh!” Jess replied sounding shamefully ditzy. Zack looked at me for a reason not buying into Jess’ lame shark bullshit and all I could do was shrug, “It looks cold.” I stared out past Zack to the ocean.

‘Well, there’s only one way to know that for sure” he’d said enthusiastically with a cheeky crooked grin planted on his face. Before I had time to escape Zack’s mischief he’d captured me securely in his arms and was jogging towards the ocean undisturbed as I squirmed and attempted to wriggle free from his tight grip. I failed miserably; he was too strong for me. Damn, now I have beach hair I laughed as he threw me into the refreshingly cool salty water.
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