To know you is to hate you.

I wasn’t permitted to leave the hospital until late next day. Tre came to pick me up at the hospital and also as an extra pair of ears when it came to the details about my after care. He gently guided me through the halls with his arm wrapped around my shoulders. After being doped up on painkillers for so long I found it hard to get my footing right and stumbled on several occasions.

“Dude, I think the ground is moving.” I joked as I slipped into the passenger seat of the hired car.

“It’ll feel like that for a while. You heard what the doc said.”

I nodded. We started to move on down the highway towards our hotel. Tre had a local radio station playing, the presenter spoke in rapid German and it made my head spin to try and pin point her words; my high school languages was proving worthless. I heard our name mentioned briefly and looked to Tre. There was a frown upon the man’s face.

“What?” I asked, “What did she say?”

“I don’t speak German –“

“Maybe not but you know something.”

“It was mostly likely about the cancellation of the tour.”

I sat still. I was shocked to say the least that Billie Joe had let this go ahead, I knew how bull headed he could be and how much he loved to be on the road. He must have been devastated when he realised that there was nothing left to do.

As much as I wanted to see my best friend and comfort him in what I knew must be a pretty morbid time, I also was nervous. What if he didn’t want to see me?

“I-is Billie okay?”

Tre glanced briefly at me and then back to the road.

“He’s just really bummed.” The man chuckled, “He feels so guilty right now that you’ll be getting pampered even before you set foot through the lobby door. If I were you, I’d milk it for all I could get.”

The radio was the only sound for the rest of the journey. Tre parked near the entrance of the hotel and supported me as we staggered in through the door way. Billie Joe was sitting in the lobby with one of my bandanas a top his head. I frowned as I remembered the chunks of missing hair from his scalp. He jumped up from the chair and staggered towards us. His lip was split and he had new stitches over his left eyebrow.

“Hey Mikey.” He said rather hesitantly, “H-how you feeling?”

I smiled at him, trying to ease his fear.

“Better for seeing you BJ.”

The singer blushed. Tre, now accompanied by Billie Joe, helped me back to my room. The sheets on the bed had been changed, my bass was propped against the far wall and on the table was a tray with coffee, mugs and various biscuits.

“Gee this is real nice guys.” I exclaimed as I lowered myself into the sofa.

Tre sat next to me while Billie Joe brought me over a mug of piping coffee. He then brought over his own and Tre’s and set the biscuits on the coffee table.

“Why is my bass out of the bus?”

“I – I thought you might want to …play it.” Billie joe’s voice trailed off as he caught sight of my bandaged arm.

“It’s okay BJ. I’ll be playing it again before you know it.”

Billie joe forced a smile but he didn’t seem convinced. He barely touched his coffee and the Tre and I were often left to talk between ourselves. Billie Joe certainly wasn’t good company, not like he usually was.

The afternoon wondered into evening. Billie Joe was with his feet up on his seat, his coffee still sitting on the table and his eyes glued intently to the television. Tre told me that he would see me tomorrow; apparently he had ‘business’ to take care of. The drummer swiftly left me with Billie Joe.

“Billie?”

“Hm?”

“Are you okay.”

The man hesitated before meekly nodding his head. Somehow I didn’t believe him.

“I should go.” He said.

“No. No please BJ. S-stay with me tonight.”

“Why? So…So I can hurt you again?”

He looked to me. His emerald eyes brimming with unshed tears. I motioned for him to sit by me but he refused.

“I don’t want to hurt you—“

“Christ BJ! You’re not! It wasn’t you in that back room, it was…him. Stop blaming yourself.”

He cautiously came and sat next to me but flinched when I moved closer.

“BJ. I don’t hate you. I could never hate you.” I cooed.

“Maybe you can’t; but I can.”

“No. Stop it. Don’t do this to yourself.” I took hold of his hand and squeezed, “Please.”

He fought against my touch for only a second before he could do nothing more than embrace it. Tears slid down his cheeks and his lower lip quivered.

“Please don’t cry BJ.”

“Why not? Why shouldn’t I? I’m the one who has to live with this in my head! I can’t even trust myself anymore! I- I could have ruined everything for the band and I could have killed you! Mike, what would I have done if you had died?!” He sobbed uncontrollably now. His body shook and he could barely get his words out.

I used my good arm to pull him closer and he obliged without protest. His head lay against my chest, careful to avoid my injured bicep.

“I-is there anything I can do?” He cried.

“You love me and that’s enough.”

I kissed him on the forehead. He shifted his head so he could gaze up at me. A soft smile spread across his lips and he wrapped his arms around my waist.

“What happened the other night, BJ, meant so much to me. You have no idea.”

I was feeling sentimental; it wasn’t everyday that I got stabbed after all.

He chuckled, “It meant a lot to me too.”

“I’m not joking Bj!”

“I didn’t say you were.”

“Well, don’t laugh!”

He reached a hand up and stroked my cheek.

“Honey, I wasn’t laughing. Honestly.” He pressed his lips to mine, “It was how god damn sloppy you were.”

I blushed. He kissed me again, this time harder. His tongue teased my bottom lip before beginning to leisurely explore my mouth. I leant back and he gently positioned himself on top of me. I moaned into the kiss, it stirred me to the very core and my briefs suddenly felt very tight.

“Well hello Mr Dirnt.” Billie sighed as his thigh grazed my erection.

He shifted and accidently fell against my wounded arm. I hissed with, making him jump up in surprise.

“Oh shit. Oh shit! I am so sorry Mikey.”

“It’s okay BJ.” I sat up and began to massage my bicep, “I guess this just means no, er, ‘rough play’.”

To my surprise, and curiosity, Billie Joe smirked.

“Really? We can’t play at all?”

“Well…we…um.” I stammered.

He knelt before me, placed his hands on my knees and pushed my legs apart. I shuttered all over at the thought of what was going through his mind. He rubbed his hands up the inner sides of my thighs until they reached the bulge at my crouch. Gently he undid the buttons and pulled my trousers and briefs to the floor. Once again I was fully exposed and the idea of it only made my erection stiffen more.

“B-BJ….” I sighed.

“Exactually.” He chuckled as he began to fondle my balls, his lips kissing my thighs and his other hand caressing my prominent hip bone.

His teeth nipped and sucked at my flesh, the hand on my waist grew ever lower. He toke me in his hand and stroked me gently, using his thumb to tease the tip. I gasped and bit my lip.

“God, you sound so hot.” He whispered.

I was too filled with want to even attempt to form sentences. He licked smoothly at the velvet of my foreskin, one hand was still massaging my balls while he hand the other placed on my waist once again. My cock grew and hardened with each lick.

“I’m gonna show ya how sorry I am.”

“BJ, y- you—“

He wrapped his lips around me, swirling his tongue around while applying next to no amount of pressure with his lips. He began to suck and I trembled with pleasure. My fingers dug into the fabric of the couch. He sucked just at the end, purposely making me want more.

“Fuck. H—hurry up.”

He plunged all the way down on me. It sent a tremble throughout my whole body and I felt as if I might come then and there. He bobbed up and down on my shaft, licking and paying great care and attention to his rhythm. He’s built me up deliberately; preventing me from exploding. He sucked harder and harder, faster and faster, his tongue swirling.

I felt my belly warming and I cried his name as I let go. My cum sprayed down his throat but he kept his mouth around my cock; lapping up every last drop. He gently pulled away and wiped his mouth on his shirt sleeve.

Billie swiftly climbed up beside me and planted a kiss to my lips. I could taste myself on his tongue.

“If this is what Tre meant by ‘guilt tripping’, I want you to do it every day.”