A Friend Like Me

We're so close to reaching that famous happy ending,
Almost believing this one's not pretend
Let's go on dreaming,
For we know we are
So close,
So close,
And still, so far.
So Close - Jon McLaughlin

I straightened out my strapless blue dress, tugging it back up, and said to Danielle, “You look so pretty. Like…wow. And you and Kevin are perfect for each other.”

Danielle smiled nervously. “Thanks.”

Honestly though, I can't believe Kevin's getting married. It seems only like yesterday that he was the seven-year old who convinced me that, if you scream or show any fear in a rat's presence, it would transform into this giant, man-eating monster.

He also convinced me that he was secretly a power ranger – and I believed it for a good few years.

Danielle looked up at the clock. “Well,” she said to everyone who was still in the room. “We'd better get down there.”

{∞∞∞}

“Dude, Joe was looking for you,” Greg, their band's bassist, informed me as I took my place next to him, ready to walk down the aisle.

“Really?” I said. “Why?”

He shrugged. “I don't know.”

It soon came for our turn to walk down the aisle after one of Danielle's sisters and Ryan. Taking a deep, calming breath, I pulled up my dress (I'm not used to strapless dresses) and hoped that I wouldn't trip and embarrass myself, earning myself a new name – Girl Who Tripped in Kevin Jonas' Wedding.

Joe, clad in a black tux and a black bowtie, caught my eye as soon as I stepped in. He immediately beamed at me, but looked at me as if I were a different person. I returned the smile.

As the wedding's events – the scriptures, the vows, the rings, the kiss – progressed quite quickly, I found myself seeing just how happy Kevin and Danielle were with each other.

And I found myself wishing that I would find that with someone. I wished that things would work out between Joe and I, that we would work things out. I mean, I broke up with James a month ago.

You'd think that something would have happened by now, but no. It's December and I'm about to start – and end – another year as friends.

{∞∞∞}

I walked into the reception room, clearly the first person to arrive.

Which, you know, means that I can marvel in secret over how lavish and wonderful this wedding – and this reception – is. And there's really nobody that can see me and go, “Why's that girl staring at the ice statue?”

“You're here early.”

I turned around and saw Joe. He smiled lopsidedly at me.

“You look really nice,” he said so softly that I almost didn't hear him.

I smiled. “Thanks. This place is really opulent, though.”

“Hmm?”

“You know. Luxurious.”

Joe shook his head, grinning. “Missed you so much, Summers.” He pulled me into a quick hug. “While you were in New York, I told Demi that I didn't want to commit.”

Working very hard to conceal my sudden glee, I said, “Oh, really? Why?”

Joe shrugged. “I don't really like commitments anymore, not after what happened with Camilla.”

“That was so long ago.”

“Yeah, but…I don't know if I can trust myself with commitments anymore, you know?”

I nudged him. “Hey, cheer up. It's Kevin's wedding!” Then, I realized that he was probably thinking something along the lines of what I was thinking earlier, and what he confessed to me a month ago in the Browns' garden. “And listen, even if you somehow screw things up with your 'one only,' you've still got me, even though we fight a lot. It's like that one movie we watched, Bride Wars. They're still friends at the end, even after they had that 'Who's going to have the best wedding?' thing.”

Joe smiled down at me. “Really?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I mean, why would I leave you? I couldn't do that to you; I know how much it would hurt you – well, and me – and Joe, fix your bow tie. It's a bit crooked.”

Joe looked down. “It is? No, it's not.” He reached up for it, touching it, making it more crooked.

“Don't; you're messing it up even more.” I reached over and fixed it.

Then we did something very odd (for the two of us, that is).

We just stood there, extremely close to each other, just smiling.

And maybe we were about to kiss, maybe we weren't. All I know is that people started to come in.

“So,” I said, “let's go find our seats.”

We passed by the large entrance to the reception hall, scanning the tables, when someone called, “Ava! Is that you?!”

I turned around and saw the brown-haired man I went on a date with in high school – Connor Abner. “Connor!” I dropped my clutch in surprise. “I – this is a surprise – I wasn't expecting – I didn't think I'd – how are you?”

Joe looked at Connor stonily and said too loudly, “How come you're here?”

“I'm friends with Danielle,” Connor explained with a large, bright smile.

If there was one thing I remembered about Connor from my high school days, it was that he was excessively cheerful, optimistic, and energetic.

Extremely excessively cheerful, optimistic, and energetic. It was scary.

“You look wonderful, by the way,” Connor said.

Blushing, I picked my clutch up. “Thanks.”

“Come on, Av,” Joe said loudly, “let's go get a table.”

“What?” I said. “Oh. Okay. I'll see you later, Connor!”

Joe, when we got to the table, pulled out my chair for me. “I can't believe that guy got invited.”

“And you say I can hold grudges….”

“This is different!”

{∞∞∞}

“'At's be'er,” Joe babbled to me, his mouth full of steak. “Ah a oh 'uny.” Mouth still full of food, he gabbled some more gibberish to me.

“What?” I asked, taking a sip of the champagne. “Swallow your food, Joseph. I'm not really keen to see that….”

Joe, pausing for a moment, swallowed his food. “I said, 'That's better. I was so hungry. How long was the wedding, anyway?'”

“I told you to eat before the wedding!”

“But I needed to get ready!”

“You're so odd. You could've woken up earlier.”

Joe took another large bite of his steak. “I need sleep.”

“Swallow before talking, Joe!”

“That's what she –”

“We're at a wedding. As in, this is not the time to say that.”

“But that is what she said. Because you're a she, and you said that.”

I shook my head, giggling. “Joe, you are amazing.”

“So I've been told.”

The music started and Kevin and Danielle, to much applause, took to the dance floor. After a few songs, they were joined by other people, and Kevin danced with Mrs. Jonas.

Connor sat down in the empty seat next to me. “Wow, Ava, I'm serious. You look more amazing than I remember back at school.”

“Thanks,” I said.

“Come and dance with me,” Joe told me abruptly.

Flustered, I blushed. “Okay.” Joe lead me out to the dance floor as I said, “But…I can't dance.”

“Nonsense!” Joe shouted over the music. “Whoo!” he shouted, fist-pumping and shaking his hips to I Got a Feeling.

I covered my face with my hands. “Joe, you are embarrassing.”

“At least I'm not the one just standing there.” He grabbed my hands, taking them down from my face. “Dance!” He started to swing our hands back and forth to the beat.

I laughed. “Joe!”

“That was fun,” Joe said as the song came to an end.

Then, a slow song, So Close, came on.

Our eyes met. Joe, still looking into my eyes, stepped closer to me. He placed his hands on my waist as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

“Friends don't do this,” I whispered as he pulled me closer.

“I know,” Joe said quietly.

You're in my arms, and all the world is gone, and music playing on for only two…

“Joe, what are we?” I mumbled.

“I don't know,” Joe admitted, “but…what if…we became something more?”

“But…Joe, I think – I think we're too different for it to work.”

“How do you know?”

“I just – look, Joe, I don't want to lose you, and I run that risk if we become something more.”

“But what about after this?” Joe pulled me closer yet again. “Like you said, friends don't just do this.”

Suddenly, I wanted to cry. It was just…this song, it was reminding me of Joe and I as of the current moment. We were so close with…well, becoming a couple and getting together, but we were so far at the same time. It was like Joe and I were on the opposite sides. I was so close, so near to him that I could nearly reach over and touch him – but there was an invisible barrier, our seventeen-year friendship, between us, preventing us.

“I don't know,” I whispered. “For now, just hold me.” I rested my head on the crook of his neck as the music progressed.

“Okay,” Joe answered softly, wrapping his arms around my waist. We swayed and revolved slowly on the spot, just enjoying being in each other's arms. "So close to reaching that famous happy ending…" Joe sang along softly to the song.

I wanted to push pause on this moment and be here forever.

Unfortunately though, because Joe and I are extremely unlucky or because the Fates or something have a grudge against me, Demi cut in, tapping my shoulder, saying, “Do you mind if I interrupt?”

Yes, Demi. Yes, I do. A lot.

Instead, I said, “No. Not at all.” I removed my hands from behind Joe's neck, avoiding his gaze. I, holding back the tears, quickly walked back to my table as the song neared its ending.

“Are you okay?” Nick asked as I sat beside him.

I shook my head. I looked up and watched Joe slow-dance with Demi. “I wish he'd look at me like that,” I said.

“That's exactly what Demi said,” said Nick, “when you were dancing with Joe.”

I sniffled. “They're perfect together.”

“Ava…”

“Like, I was reading this article once and everyone says Joe and Demi are perfect for each other. I mean, they're little couple name is 'Jemi' and someone said they had 'Jemistry.'”

“If you just told him your feelings, you wouldn't be in this place.”

I sighed. “I know.” I put my head down on my arms. “I wish someone would define Joe and I as perfect, but no. We're not.”

Even our couple name or whatever is weird – Java – a coffee, a city, a software. Or would it be Jova, like…I don't know. A type of dishwashing soap or something.

“This song is depressing me,” I said as So Close ended. “I hate this.”

“Tell him,” Nick said. “Tell him how you feel.”

“When?”

“Sometime before the year ends. Ava, the year – and the decade – is ending. Don't you want to start over next year?”

I nodded. “I guess. Yeah.”

“So tell him.”

“I can't. I don't know what to say.”

“Write him a letter then, so you'll get everything in.”

I shook my head. “No. That just screams total cliché. I mean, that's predictable, rom-com stuff right there. I'll write a letter, decide not to show him yet, then somehow, Joe and I get into this fight and stop speaking to each other. Then, somehow, I'll accidentally give him the letter, via jacket or dropping it on the ground. He finds it and begs me to come back. Commence the unnaturally beautiful sunset and the happy tears.”

I watched as a fast song I couldn't name came on and Joe and Demi started to practically grind on each other.

I tore my eyes away. “Come on, let's go for a walk.”

“There's a blizzard outside.”

“I meant out in the lobby.”

“Fine.”

As soon as we were outside, I said, “There's something I need to tell you.”

“Shoot.”

“Um. I kind of got accepted to studying abroad.”

Nick's eyebrows shot up. “What? Where? When?”

“Prague in the spring.”

“Does Joe know?”

I dragged my heels on the carpet in response.

“Ava, you need to tell him. Are you going?”

“Well, see here,” I explained. “When I called the people to decline, this woman got mad at me and said that if I took my studies and my future seriously, that I'd go, no matter what the reason. Ugh, Nick, she gave me so much pressure, so I just accepted!”

Nick stopped in his tracks. “Ava. You need to go in there and tell Joe now, before it's too late. Or I'll tell him myself.”

“Wait, don't tell him!” I cried. “I'll tell him, but not right now. Today's supposed to be happy.”

“Why won't you tell him?”

“What, and say, 'Hey Joe, just so you know, I'm going to Prague for a few months'?”

Nick shook his head. “Okay. But…just tell him soon. If you don't, this is just going to…I don't know. Dude, this'll blow up if you don't and…I don't even know what would happen.”

I nodded. “Alright, alright. I'll tell him before the year's over.”

Right. Just like I'll tell Joe I love him before the year's over – and it's almost the end of December already.

Maybe Nick's right. Maybe I should write a letter.

But then again, Joe and I are cliché enough as it is.

Romeo's never said it better: "O, I am Fortune's fool."