A Friend Like Me

Stupid girl, I should have known
I should have known
White Horse - Taylor Swift

“So, what's the problem?” Kevin asked me at his door, Danielle right beside him.

So I, being at the emotional state I was in, told them everything (if I was in my usual state of well-being, I wouldn't've. But, as it is, I am extremely confused and need help).

“Dude,” Kevin said, after my whole explanation that lasted, like, fifteen minutes, “that's so nice that you're finally confessing. See, Nick, Frankie, and I had a bet last week to see when you'd finally confess their love to one of us. And today was my day! Hey, can I bring you as proof?”

Well, then. Thanks for that, Kevin. Honestly, I don't even know what to say to that.

Thankfully, Danielle possesses more sense and sensibility than Kevin and said, “Kev, is this really the time? Look, Ava, you should just tell him your feelings. Judging from what I've heard, Joe really likes you back.”

Tell him my feelings. Why does everyone tell me that?

Oh right, because that's what I'm supposed to do, but I'm just too cowardly to say it. Seriously, if cowardice never existed, I bet the world would be a much better place.

Wait. Actually, it could be worse, too. Because then, all the people who are too afraid to kill would kill and the ones afraid to steal would steal and so on.

“I can't do that,” I said, “because I just can't. Doing that might destroy everything.”

Kevin's expression turned serious. “Ava,” he said, “do you remember when Joe and I were talking and you popped up in the middle of our talk?”

I nodded.

“Dude,” Kevin continued, “he was talking about you.”

“He was?” I asked and couldn't help but smile. “Are you serious? Me? I mean, he couldn't have.”

“He's been talking about you a lot more recently. You know what?” Kevin said. “I'm going to call Nick over here. If he can't convince you, I don't know who will. Well, except for Joe.”

{∞∞∞}

“Okay,” Nick said, “Haven't you seen the way he's been looking at you recently? Every time you step into the room, I've noticed his face just lights up when he sees you.”

…The hell? How has he noticed this?

“Haven't you seen him smile at you more? And did you see how he's staring at you more now?”

Well. I have seen him smile more often now. But I just assumed that he's just happier.

“And what else would explain how he's acting so odd around you recently?”

Wow. Maybe he's right. I mean, there are those things I've picked up myself. And…oh my God. Wow.

I felt a smile creep onto my face.

My feelings were finally reciprocated! At the very least, he actually liked me, if not loved me back!

“See?” Nick said. “You're doing that light-up face, just like he does. You look like a Christmas tree.”

“Or a jack-o-lantern,” added Kevin.

We all turned to look at him.

“What?” Danielle asked.

“Because,” Kevin explained, rolling his eyes as though we were extremely stupid for not getting his simile, “jack-o-lanterns' faces light up. Duh.”

“Okay then,” I said.

Because my face was just compared to a vegetable on which ugly faces are carved into.

But whatever.

Thanks, Aphrodite or Eros or some other love god, for finally listening to me (even though I don't believe in you, but still).

{∞∞∞}

“Hey,” I called as I opened the hotel door, “so, what's your plans tonight? I mean, we have to pick up those curtains, but it's Friday and – ” I stopped mid-sentence.

There Joe was, sitting on the couch we'd always talk on these days.

Except Demi was there, and both of them were kissing ardently.

All the happiness I've had since I thought I'd found out that Joe liked me back drained out in an instant. My heart, which had been feeling all light and happy before, crash-landed back onto Earth.

“There you are,” Mrs. Jonas said, coming in from one of the bedrooms (honestly, I don't know how this hotel room is bigger than my apartment), “can you go with Joe to pick up the curtains? It's storming quite bad out there.”

When I didn't respond, she looked towards where I was looking.

“Joseph!” she yelled.

As she scolded him, I couldn't help but think, Stupid girl. You should've known.

How could I be so foolish, so lead on? I'm so stupid. Stupid!

“I'll be in the car,” I said softly, my voice cracking. “Joe, you'd better hurry up.” I cracked a small smile at him to show him that it didn't bother me at all that he was dating Demi – again.

{∞∞∞}

“What's up with you?!” I asked harshly, cutting the silence between us and trying to make the windshield wipers go faster.

Joe and I were on our way to Nassau county, and it was pouring – hard. And it's not like after driving, I can just zip off back to my apartment. No. I have to drop my car back at my parents' house and take the subway back home.

Joe's eyes narrowed. “What's my problem?”

“Yeah,” I said, holding up a finger, counting off. “First, you go off, on, off, then on again with Demi in a span of, what, one week? Second, you've been acting so weird lately. I don't know what's going on with you.”

“I can date Demi if I want to. I'm a free person. You never said…” he started mumbling unintelligibly. “We…just going as friends…nothing more.”

“What?”

“Look, Demi's a great girl, okay? She obviously cares about me and we never get into a fight.”

I pressed harder on the gas pedal out of anger. “Oh, isn't that nice, then. Not that I'd expect anything else from a couple who's known each other for so long and knows each other more than anyone else does.”

“Oh, shut up, Ava. You were the one making out with James in public.”

“For the last time, James and I have kissed before, you know that! Besides, it's not like he's the first guy I've kissed.”

Joe's head turned so fast towards me, I was surprised he didn't get whiplash. “What?!”

“Yeah. Believe it or not, while you left me in high school, Connor Abner asked me out and I was feeling alone, since you left, so I said yes.”

“Connor Abner?!” Joe spat. “You went out with him and never told me? You know how I feel about him!”

For in sixth grade, Connor beat him for the basketball team. And from then on, he's beaten Joe in pretty much everything school-wise, until Joe left for L.A.

“It was all the way back in high school, okay?” I said nastily. “I've never said anything about your girlfriends, have I?”

“Don't pretend like you were completely okay when you saw Demi and I earlier,” Joe said, smirking.

I tightened my grip on the steering wheel in response, staring straight ahead.

“Don't pretend that you were completely jealous of her,” Joe taunted.

I slammed my foot down on the accelerator, lurching us forward.

Joe looked from me to the windshield.

“Uh, Ava,” he said nervously, “slow down. We're gonna slide.”

I laughed coldly. “You mean hydroplane, right? You can't even get words right. Besides, we're not going to hydroplane.”

I sped up to prove my point and to annoy him.

“Ava! SLOW DOWN!”

“Will you shut up?! Or do you have to control even my driving?” I yelled, frustrated with him. “For the last time, we're not – ”

As I turned the car around a tight curve, the car spun out of my control. I tried to regain control over the steering wheel, turning it the other direction. We were screaming. The trees became a blur. I shut my eyes, waiting for the moment to be over.

It seemed like hours before the car slowed, coming to a stop because of a soft collision with a tree. I opened my eyes hesitantly. Joe and I were breathing heavily.

“You okay?” Joe asked, reaching out to touch me.

“Shut up,” I spat. “Don't. Say. Anything.” I stepped on the gas pedal, trying to get us to move backward and away from the tree.

Nothing happened.

Joe sighed. “I'm just trying to see if you're alright. Excuse me for wanting to see if my best friend's okay after a car accident.”

I let out a contemptuous laugh. “Okay? I haven't been okay ever since you've started to act all bizarre.” I pulled out my cellphone, groaning when I found out that (surprise, surprise) was no reception. I unbuckled my seatbelt, taking the keys out of ignition.

“Where you going?” Joe asked cautiously.

“We're going to go find a restaurant. We can use their phone there. That way, we won't have to be stuck with each other.”

“But it's pouring outside. As in, buckets of cats and dogs and thunder and lightning.”

I bit down on my lip to keep from laughing at his little phrase and rolled my eyes. “What, afraid of ruining your overgrown hair?”

In an instant, Joe opened his door and jogged over to my side to open my door. I sat there in shock.

See, he's never opened the door for me.

However, I just hopped out of the car as soon as he opened the door, and marched past him without a single word.

{∞∞∞}

I rubbed my arms as we continued walking, teeth chattering.

“You cold?” Joe asked, his voice filled with worry.

I shook my head.

Just my luck. I get into a huge fight with Joe, hydroplane, then end up walking around in the freezing, pouring rain, looking for a restaurant.

By now, I was drenched. I looked sideways at Joe, and saw that he was, too.

Which so was a mistake. Looking at him, that is. I couldn't stop now. The rain made the white shirt underneath his jacket see-through, defining his chest. His jeans, usually just hugging him, clung to him more in the right areas. His hair was plastered to his forehead. His clothes were sticking onto his body, his features definitely more pronounced, driving my imagination into overload.

I imagined him kissing me deeply, pushing me gently against my car. He'd press his body into mine, his hands on my hips. He'd pull away, a broad smile on his lips, only to whisper, “I love you.” He'd press his lips against mine again.

I tried to stop my imagination from going wild as I still stared at him, unable to look away.

See, this is why I didn't want to look at him in the first place, because I'd be all gaga over him and have fantasies.

Joe looked over at me and saw me staring at him, a smirk playing across his lips. “What're you looking at?”

I quickly forced myself to look away, the heat creeping onto my cheeks. “Nothing,” I said.

Joe grinned. “Really? Because it looked like you were – ”

“I wasn't,” I defended myself, maybe too harshly. “Okay? Not every girl's in love with you, you know.”

I looked ahead and noticed a lit-up red neon sign, blaring the words, “-IN-R,” the letters flickering on and off. The sign had, once, probably read “DINER,” but the D and the I had burned out.

I breathed out a sigh of relief. Finally. I can get a phone in there and get us towed out of there, and we'll all be on our merry way.