Sugar & Spice

*Rosie's Point of View

The days turned to weeks as time flew by. Black and I had continued sporadically with our tutoring sessions and before I knew it I was completely caught up, something I had begun to think would never happen.

Something else that happened which I thought would never be possible was that Evans and I became quite close – I even stopped calling her Evans, although I couldn't help calling her Red most of the time.

I knew that something in me had changed; my relationship with Black was as fiery as ever, but there seemed to be a kind of tenderness there. For the first time since coming to Hogwarts I was beginning to think of having a boyfriend and dating, and I started participating in conversations with girls where the subject matter was boys, whereas before I'd avoided the topic completely.

"So what's going on with you and Black?" Red asked me one day, when we were sat on her bed talking.

This was one of the main things we did: talk. We could be talking about boys, schoolwork, friend troubles – whatever – and we never felt awkward about it. I realised that she was my only girl friend, and the thought made me feel good, for boys were excellent friends, but there was nothing like a good chat-session with a fellow girl.

I pulled a face and felt a slight blush rise up my cheeks.

"Nothing – just friends, you know?"

She looked sceptical and raised her eyebrow, poking me lightly in the side.

"Spill," She said. "I may think he's a troublemaker, but even I have to admit he's quite good-looking. And you two spend quite a lot of time together," She said, wiggling her fiery coloured eyebrows. Both of us collapsed into giggles, something I never seemed to do unless I was with her.

When we'd quietened down, I sighed lightly.

"I don't know. For the first time in my life I actually want a boyfriend. But I don't know…"

She snorted.

"Oh Merlin - if there was ever anybody anywhere who was in denial, it's you. What's the problem?"

I thought about it, really trying to figure it out.

"I guess it's because…well, I've never really been close to anybody before – apart from my brother…" I trailed off, not wanting to sound like I was feeling sorry for myself, because I wasn't.

I knew the real reason though, even if I would never say it out loud. What I'd said was absolutely true, but I couldn't deny how hard it had been, without Mum. All I'd had was a father who had never done anything for me but show disgust at worse and disdain at best. I almost felt like I wasn't capable of having a relationship - with anybody.

Emotionally damaged... The tactless term rolled around in my mind, taunting me. I shook my head to shake these thoughts away.

"What about you?" I asked slyly, raising a knowing eyebrow at her. She blushed, predicting what was coming. "You're even worse than me! You know you like Potter – don't even try and deny it!" I said, cutting her off as she opened her mouth to protest.

She scrunched up her nose and ran her hand over her face.

"I don't know…Potter and I…he's such a jerk! He's constantly asking me out, and he's got all these girls running after him all the time – it does my head in, it really does! And he's the school's biggest troublemaker (apart from Black)…"

I put my hand on her shoulder and looked her straight in the eye.

"James is a really good guy, Red – Lily. All those pranks, all the detentions he gets…that's not who he is. I mean, I don't even have to tell you any of this. I know you know already," I said, satisfied as I sat back. She covered her face with her hands, embarrassed. "Give him a chance, already. God, the whole planet knows he's been in love with you since the beginning of 1st year!" I exclaimed, exasperated. She sighed.

"We'll see," She said dubiously, and I dropped it.

We sat in comfortable silence as the light level dropped around us, Red leaning against the headboard of her bed, I against one of the bedposts opposite her.

We were jerked out of our thoughts as we heard a sharp tap on the window.

Our heads whipped around and I gasped as I spotted my family's owl, Hunter perched on the ledge, looking none too happy with the current weather; the gale-force winds outside bent his feathers backwards and he had to fight to stay on the ledge. He screeched loudly, his head swivelling around to spy us through the glass.

I hurried to the window and yanked it open, pulling him inside just as he looked like he would be blown away.

He nipped my finger with more force than strictly necessary, drawing blood, but I didn't take it personally. He held out his leg, and for the first time I noticed the letter tied there.

Rosie. was scrawled across the front in a font that I knew very well.

Tom…

I stuck the letter in my pocket and turned to Red, giving her a small smile.

"I'm going to take him back up the Owlery. I think it's a bit too rough out there for him."

She nodded, smiling too.

"No problem. Have fun," She said, reaching over to her bedside table to pull a very heavy-looking book out of the top drawer.

I walked slowly to the door, but as soon as it closed, I raced down the girl's staircase, and through the common room, which from the quick glance I threw there was empty, most people having gone down to dinner.

I ran the whole way to the Owlery, carrying a protesting Hunter in my arms, and by the time I got there I was panting and holding a stitch in my side.

Hunter took off with a loud screech and settled himself up near the rafters as I got my breath back. My heart was pounding in my mouth, and I was excited, but I felt a horrible sense of foreboding as I opened the tightly furled scroll and began to read.

My Dearest Sister,

I'm sure Dumbledore's told you all about Dad and I being on the run by now.

I'm not going to tell you where I am, in case this letter is somehow intercepted, but I wanted to let you know that I'm alive, and that I've managed to hide myself well.

There's something else I need to tell you though: I'm leaving all my money to you. There's more than enough in there for you – you'll definitely never go hungry again. I noticed that he'd drawn a tiny smiley face next to that, and I gave it a watery smile, feeling the tears coming. I also saw that attached to the back of the letter was his tiny golden Gringotts key. I continued reading. "- I need you to know that no matter what happens to me – if I die and never get to say it again to you in person – I want you to know how special you are, and that I'll always love you, Rosie. I wish I could tell you this in person, but I'm so proud of you, and I'm so happy that you finally got to go to Hogwarts, just like you always dreamed.

I just wanted you to know that.

All my love,
Your Adoring Brother

There was no stopping it now; a shaking sob tore its way from my throat and I sank to my knees on the filthy floor, staring with blurred eyes at the letter my beloved brother had sent me.

The letter that might be his last.

It had just hit me then that I might never see him again, that I might never speak or laugh with him again.

I jumped as the door opened and a student made to come in. When he saw me though, he dropped his gaze and mumbled something incoherently, backing quickly out of the Owlery and shutting the door behind him.

Dinner had long since finished by the time I pulled myself to my feet. The tears hadn't quite stopped yet, but I would be able to make the run to Gryffindor.

I flew down the passageways, not meeting the eyes of the people I passed and quickly gasped the password to the fat lady, hauling myself quickly up into the common room.

My eyes were now finally dry, but I felt weak and tired, like I needed to sleep.

"Tammie!" Somebody called concernedly from the direction of the fireplace.

"Not now," I said, my voice cracking as I walked as quickly as I could to the girl's staircase.

There was just no ways I wanted him or James or Remus or even Peter to see me cry.

As I placed my foot on the bottom stair I felt a gentle hand encircle my wrist.

"Black, I don't want to talk about it," I said shortly, willing my lip to stop trembling.

"What's wrong?" He breathed and I just shook my head, managing a small smile.

"Let's talk about it later, yeah?" I said and turned away without waiting for an answer. To my relief he didn't stop me, though I could feel him bursting with questions.

"How can you be a 'sensitive guy' if they won't even tell you what's wrong?" Black asked exasperatedly to somebody a few moments later.

"Mate, women are like that. She'll probably tell you later," A voice I recognised as James's answered, sounding bored.

"Just give her some space," I heard Remus mutter as I slowly made my way up the stairs.

Lily wasn't there when I reached our dorm and I was grateful. I changed into my pyjamas and climbed into my bed, thankfully falling asleep within minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I woke up I felt much better than I had when I fell asleep.

It seemed that the sleep had cleared my mind; I felt hopeful now that Tom would be fine. I was sure of it, in fact; he was a very smart man.

It was just the shock of hearing from him after all that worry and the fear that he might not make it that had gotten to me.

I got dressed quickly and lazily made my way down the stairs much earlier than the other girls, who still slumbered peacefully in their beds.

By the time Black and the other Marauders entered the Great Hall I'd already had a glass of pumpkin juice, two cups of coffee and a cup of tea.

Black sat next to me, just as I'd predicted he would.

"Was it your brother?" He asked the second he'd sat down and I raised my eyebrows at him, surprised. "Oh please," He huffed impatiently, making himself a sausage, egg and bacon sandwich as he spoke. "It's not that hard. Who else could it be?" He asked, giving me a sidelong glance, and I nodded. It made sense.

"He's alive," I said simply, knowing that nobody could overhear me over the clatter of cutlery and chatter of tired students. He nodded slowly, and began eating, but I could feel him watching me carefully from the corner of my eye.

"Tammie," He said suddenly after a few moments and I looked over at him, surprised. He was avoiding my eye, and I saw a faint blush creep over his cheeks.

I grinned. I always loved it when he was embarrassed, simply because it was so very rare.

"Well, I, you know – I mean, I wanted to know if…uhh…we should – you know what? Forget it," He said, his words rushing together slightly and I blinked.

"Spit it out, Black," I said, hiding my smirk behind my second cup of tea.

"No, never mind, I said. It doesn't matter," He said, the flush already almost gone. I rolled my eyes.

"Fine, but I know you'll tell me later…right?"

"Yeah, sure," He muttered, sharing a look with James. I frowned in confusion, wondering at their strange behaviour, but dropped it.

*Sirius's Point of View

I nodded, but I couldn't help glancing at her every few seconds, taking in her red-rimmed eyes and full lips and red cheeks and the way her hair fell in her face; it was longer than it had been when she'd first come to Hogwarts, but that suited her just fine.

Suddenly I decided I was going to ask her out, right then and there. In fact, I didn't really decide.

I opened my mouth, but nothing that I wanted to say would come out, just a garbled, incoherent mush really.

"Well, I, you know – I mean, I wanted to know if…uhh…we should – you know what? Forget it," I finished, glaring at my plate.

This was not normal. It was one thing that she drove me crazy very time I saw her in her school uniform, or even in normal muggle clothes. It was one thing that we were close, that we'd told each other almost everything about ourselves, no matter how much Tammie liked to think otherwise.

It was something else entirely when I couldn't even ask her out without making a fool of myself!

I exchanged a look with James and he gave a tiny apologetic smile and a shrug, which I took to mean: 'Doesn't matter mate – you'll have other chances'.

His attention was diverted though, when Evans sat down next to Tammie. My eyebrows shot up; I knew they were getting along better (from what Tammie'd told me), but they'd never sat together before.

James ruffled his hair up with one hand and the other (still holding his breakfast sandwich) was left suspended in mid-air, dripping bacon grease steadily onto his right trouser leg, but he didn't notice; his attention was entirely focused on Evans.

I rolled my eyes and attacked my butty, getting annoyed all over again at not being able to ask Tammie out.

At the end of the day, after we'd just had a particularly hard lesson in Transfiguration I approached Tammie, putting my hand on her waist and bending down to talk more easily with her. She didn't brush me off as she used to; she was now completely used to this and at ease, though I was always gratified to see that her face heated up slightly whenever I got quite this close.

"It's been a while since I last tutored you, Tamms. Are you sure you're not falling behind?" I asked, knowing the answer as she snorted, pulled a face and then looking directly up at me.

"Oh yes, I was going to ask you about that. I'm well past falling behind – I just can't get my head around anything to do with human transfiguration. And all this stuff about animaguses is messing with my head."

I nodded, concealing my grin at the thought of what I was planning.

"8 o clock tomorrow night?" I asked, working to keep the 'lady's man' tone from creeping into my voice like it did with other girls.

She smiled and nodded and she, James, Remus, Peter and I made our slow way down to dinner.

Just because I couldn't ask her out at breakfast didn't mean I couldn't try tomorrow.