Sugar & Spice

*Rosie's Point of View

I woke up the next morning with an unexpected and unexplained feeling of excitement in the pit of my stomach.

I lay there, still in bed, trying to figure it out, and then when I had it, I began grinning uncontrollably. It was because I would be meeting Black tonight.

Sure, we'd had countless tutoring sessions (and I got worked up every single time), but this felt different; there'd been something in his voice yesterday when we were talking.

I knew that just a month ago even I would've pushed this away, but that didn't dampen my enthusiasm to start the day.

"Ah…I know that look," Red spoke from the bed next to me, making me jolt in surprise.

"You!" I said, pointing accusingly but still grinning. "What are you doing awake?"

She laughed, pushing back the covers and running a hand though her thick red hair before yawning deeply.

"Don't know – I couldn't sleep, I guess,"

I threw back my own covers, very much awake and jumped over the corner of Georgina's bed, making for the batheroom.

"Well I get the shower first!" I called, and I smirked as I heard the other girls grumble in response, Lily included.

While I was showering a very strange feeling crept through my body; it was different from what I usually got around Black, though that was also a strange.

I got this warm sense of peace, but also energy at the same time, and I felt butterflies break out and take flight in my stomach.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I only had two lessons that day, and I spent the rest of my free time in the library, catching up and daydreaming. At five o' clock though, I managed to fall asleep and woke up with my face stuck to page 726 of The Magic of Charms.

I groaned and rubbed my face, then looked at my watch and groaned again.

It was already 19:30, and it took 15 minutes to walk to our tutoring classroom from the Library, so I began packing up and putting my books away, taking my time.

I suddenly felt rather nervous, although there was nothing to be nervous about. I shook the feeling off and left.

I knew I'd be early, but I wasn't going to just sit in the Library and twiddle my thumbs. Maybe Black would be early.

I snorted.

I'd like to see that happen…

*Sirius's Point of View

I looked at my watch for the tenth time in five minutes and James rolled his eyes at Remus who smirked, but I didn't notice because…I was looking at my watch again.

"Sirius, just go down now; you never know – she might be early," Remus nudged me and motioned for the portrait hole.

"I can't be early! I've never be early for a date!" I said hotly, offended by the idea.

"Who said it's a date?" Remus asked slyly, raising his eyebrows at me and winking at Peter who smirked back at him.

"I did," I said shortly, taking the Marauders' Map from my bag and sticking it in my pocket; I might need it later.

"So you actually managed to grow some balls and ask her out?" James asked while flicking lazily through his potions book. I cuffed him around the head.

"Well, no…sort of."

"You didn't, did you?"

"Well, no – but I'm going to tonight!" I said defensively. They were all looking at me in amusement.

"You're losing your touch, mate," James said, laughing like a maniac as I punched him in the arm. I stood up and shoved my hands deep in my pockets. James smirked.

"God, Black – you're actually going to be early for a date?" He mocked, feigning disgust. "You're so un-cool!"

I laughed sarcastically and turned to the portrait hole, biting my lip.

"Alright, I'm sick of this abuse – I'm off gents!" I called over my shoulder, and left the common room.

This is ridiculous! I thought as I made my way down the corridor, going as slowly as possible. I laughed out loud, and it sounded a bit nervous and high-pitched. Get over it man. It's just Tammie…

I couldn't lie to myself though.

I loved Tammie. I was actually in love, something I never thought could happen to me, and it was both a wonderful and a horrible feeling.

Horrible because I felt like a twat for being nervous for a date. Well, it wasn't really even a date – I just planned on asking her out…sort of.

I reached 'our classroom' ten minutes early and sat down on the desk, putting my head in my hands and staring at the floor as I tried to put together what I was going to say.

Nothing stupid. Don't say 'I love you', it'll freak her out. What about, 'Tammie, go out with me'? I laughed out loud then; it sounded remarkably like James. I knew how he felt now – it was contagious, apparently. Hmm…what about: 'Tammie, you know, I reckon we've known each other for a while, and I just wanted to –'

I was jolted out of my thoughts by the sound of somebody's heels entering the room. I looked up in panic, thinking Tammie'd come early and I still didn't have anything to say, but I winced when I saw who it was.

It was the girl I'd last seen on Hogsmeade platform – the one who'd licked her lips and batted her eyelashes…Helen McDougall.

We had hooked up quite a few times, and she knew what she was doing, no doubt about it, but there was no ways I even wanted to talk to her now. Especially not with Tammie coming so soon; she'd get the wrong idea.

"Hello stranger," She said, walking slowly forward and putting on 'the voice'. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.

"What do you want, Helen?" I asked bluntly. She pouted.

I still couldn't believe I used to find her sexy – after meeting Tammie I realised she was lacking in two very important departments: personality and brains.

"I haven't seen you in so long, Sirius. I'm starting to get lonely," She said, her voice quiet in the large room. She was just ten feet from me now.

"Ah, but I'm taken now. I can't help you there," I said, licking my lips. I wanted her to leave, and soon, but I didn't want to be rude.

She scoffed, suddenly disdainful.

"That girl, Tamsworth? Please, she's not even pretty," She whispered conspiratorially, and I rolled my eyes and then noticed that she was mere feet from me.

I watched her with curiosity as she came closer, wondering exactly what she would do.

"And I know that she can't give you what you want," She whispered, coming in between my legs. I jerked up straight as though an electric current had run through me and scooted back over the desk and sat on the other side, keeping the desk between us.

"Get out of here, Helen. Before I do something stupid," I wanted to slap myself for adding that last part, knowing that she'd take it as a challenge. She came around the desk quickly, and I didn't move away fast enough.

She stood about a foot from me, looking up into my eyes with a look I knew well.

"You know you want it. What's she to you, anyways?" I stared down at her, not speaking.

I jumped when I heard the door to the classroom open and I glimpsed Tammie's pale face as she looked around; she hadn't seen us yet.

An unconscious smile crept onto my face when I saw her and made to move around Helen to go to her, but I didn't get that far.

Helen grabbed my face, taking me completely by surprise, and kissed me, sticking her tongue in my mouth when it opened in astonishment.

After a couple of shocked seconds I pushed her away with more force than I'd meant to use and she fell to the ground hard, but I barely noticed.

Tammie had disappeared from the doorway.

"TAMMIE!" I roared, and knocked over two chairs in my haste to get to the door. I wrenched it open and saw the end of her long robe disappear around the corner.

I tore after her.

I knew she'd never believe that I hadn't wanted anything to do with Helen, or how I felt about her, but I had to try.

I caught her arm outside the charms classroom, but she ripped away, and I could hear her breathing was fast and shallow.

"Tammie!" I called after her urgently, stopping for a moment to see if she'd turn.

When she didn't I ran after her again and caught her, and spun her around to hold her upper arms in my hands, so she couldn't get away.

She wouldn't look at me, and I could feel my own panic choking me, my heart pounding in my mouth.

What if she never wanted to speak to me again? A thousand thoughts swirled in my head as I shook her slightly, willing her to believe me.

"Tammie! I didn't kiss her! I really didn't!"

"Let go of me," She said quietly, leaning forwards so her hair was in her face; I couldn't see her expression, but I was sure she was crying.

"I didn't do anything!"

"Let me go,"

"Why? Why are you so upset? Listen to me!"

"Get off!"

"No."

She looked up then, and I saw that she wasn't crying. It was worse – she looked emotionless, but I could see that her lip was trembling and her eyes were rimmed in red. "I really didn't kiss her," I added quietly, wanting her to believe me.

"I SAW you!" She shouted in my face, but I didn't flinch. I'd been prepared for this – how could I not be? As James had so eloquently put it, I had 'the biggest man-slut reputation in the school'.

I let her arms go, and she stumbled back a couple of steps.

"You're a thousand times worse than I ever thought you were when I first met you, Black. I can't believe I – I – I was going to…"

"I didn't DO anything!" I burst out angrily, taking two large steps towards her as she skittered backwards.

"Don't come near me," She said lowly, looking me straight in the eye with that same horrible blank expression. I closed the distance, but I was met with a wand in my throat. "I said don't come near me, Black. You're lower than scum. Stay away from me."

I narrowed my eyes at her, but didn't look away. She gave me one last look before she turned and fled down the corridor.

I was suddenly livid.

"I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T LIKE ME!" I bellowed as loudly as I could after her and then ducked the retaliatory curse sent at my head. "Fuck!" I added and punched my fist through a portrait of an empty stretch of paddocks and fields.

As I made my way back past 'our classroom' towards the common room I didn't see Helen, a fact I was very very grateful for.

I honestly didn't know what I'd do to her if I saw her right then.

James, Peter and Remus looked at me strangely when I climbed up into the common room, but I didn't stop to chat, making a direct beeline for our dorm and my bed.

"Sirius!"

"Hey! You're early…"

"What happened?"

"Nothing," I said in a monotone without turning around. "I'm going to bed,"

"But-"

"Wait-"

"Bed!" I repeated loudly, barely managing not to shout as I took the steps three at time. I pushed the door to our room open so quickly that it banged against the wall, but I was already routing through my bedside table drawer.

Then I stripped, put my pyjama bottoms on, and drew the curtains around my bed, nearly igniting them when a couple of sparks flew out of my fingertips.

Even my control over my magic was getting away from me. I took a deep breath to calm myself and climbed on top of the covers of my bed.

I sat in the centre and lit a cigarette with the tip of my wand.

I finally fell asleep at five in the morning, after having finished two of my books, smoked twenty cigarettes and drank half a bottle of firewhiskey.

I sighed as I lay back on my pillows, my head spinning.

What the fuck am I going to do now?