Sugar & Spice

*Sirius's Point of View

I swung myself up into the common room and without even bothering to look around, I stormed over to the most comfortable couch next to the fireplace, seething.

It took me a good few minutes to even notice that Remus and Peter were sitting quietly just feet from me.

"Wow, look at his face," Peter commented. "It's proper red."

"Shut up," I snapped, uncharacteristically rude.

"Tammie trouble," Remus stage-whispered to Peter, who smirked in reply.

I ignored them both for a long few moments.

"What exactly is so repulsive about me, huh?" I burst out suddenly, unable to hold it in. Peter looked mystified, but Remus understood immediately.

"She just needs time Sirius," He said quietly.

"How much sodding time?! Merlin, I've been a bloody saint for the last three and a half months. What does she want from me?"

James walked in then, whistling merrily to himself with his hands in his pockets. He sat down next to me and slung his arm around my shoulders. I shrugged him off irritably.

"Somebody's on their man-period," He observed, keeping his tone light but narrowing his eyes at my unusual behaviour.

"Tammie trouble," Remus repeated, turning his attention back to the huge book he'd been reading before I'd come in. I glanced at him, but he paid me no attention.

"So what, my dear Padfoot, exactly is the problem?"

"Urgh – she's constantly pushing me away! I've been a sickeningly perfect goodie-two-shoes since she came and she STILL won't give me the time of day! It's driving me insane…" My jaw clenched. "Bloody mule," I muttered mutinously, huffing and looking out the window. I didn't feel like speaking anymore – I wanted to punch something.

James sank back further into the cushions on the couch and put his feet up on the coffee table, ruffling his hair as he did so.

"Make her jealous," He said simply, completely at ease. He made it sound like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Remus groaned loudly and leaned forward to punch him none-too-gently on the arm; by the way James looked at him reproachfully, he would have a decent-sized bruise later.

"Shut up you dolt! Only you could come up with something that stupid."

I stood up and clapped James on the shoulder, suddenly feeling much better.

"Mate, you're a bloody genius. That's exactly what I'm going to do."

"Don't do it," Remus warned, standing up and putting his book on the arm of the couch, never a good sign.

I turned to leave the common room and even as the portrait of the fat lady swung closed behind me I heard Remus and James shouting at each other at the tops of their lungs.

Briefly, I felt conflicted; Remus was a pretty good judge of things one should and shouldn't do, and he obviously cared for Tammie like a sister, so if he said it was a bad idea…

I pushed that forcefully from my mind.

I rubbed my hands together and looked around, deliberating.

Where's Helen when you need her?

*Rosie's Point of View

I woke up in pitch blackness.

"Damn," I muttered, looking at my alarm clock: 2am.

I stared at the canopy above my bed for a full ten minutes, wide awake and unable to sleep; every time I closed my eyes, a couple minutes later I'd catch myself with them open again. I groaned lowly; sleep wasn't coming any time soon.

I threw back my covers, picked up the thick muggle novel on my bedside table and grabbed my bag, which I took everywhere with me.

I didn't bother to change out of my pyjamas as I made my way to the dorm door, stepping over scraps of clothing, bottles of grooming potions and other miscellaneous objects, luckily not tripping over anything in the darkness. Red would probably kill me if I woke her up now.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I'd reached the common room; it was thankfully empty. I took a seat somewhere in the midst of the jumble of armchairs and couches, facing the portrait hole, and stared into space, too emotionally drained to do anything else.

Eventually I sighed and, after routing around in my bag for a bit, managed to dig up a much abused and battered pack of Camels. I always kept a pack around for times like this.

I lit it with my wand (nearly singeing my eyebrows off in the process) and took a long drag, blowing smoke rings as far away from me as I could.

When I was halfway through my second cigarette, the cogs in my mind finally started turning; I'd always been able to think better with a cigarette in my hand.

I couldn't lie to myself: I was most definitely, most certainly, a stubborn fool.

I'd finally managed to push Black too far, pushed him away from me, just like I'd wanted from the very beginning.

So why did I feel so awful knowing that he'd he had enough, that he'd finally given up on me?

I jumped and whirled around as a soft voice spoke from behind me.

"Tammie?" It was Remus. He stood, looking slightly unsure at the bottom of the boy's stairs.

"Oh hey. You scared me there."

He moved forward, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his pyjama bottoms. He sat down on the couch opposite me, looking thoroughly exhausted.

"So you're speaking to me again, huh?" Even when he was tired, he was still sharp as a knife.

I suddenly felt thoroughly ashamed of myself - not only had I pushed Black away, but I'd also alienated my best friends too.

"Remus, I'm really sorr -" He held up his hand to silence me, shaking his head.

"You don't have to apologise Tammie. I get it, really, I do. But don't forget that James and I are your friends – we're here for you."

I nodded, looking down at the cigarette I had resting on the arm of the couch I was sat on. I reached for an empty pewter mug on a nearby table and used it as an ashtray.

"What did I ever do to deserve friends like you, Remus?" I wondered aloud, watching the rain pound against the window pane. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him grin widely, but he didn't otherwise acknowledge what I'd said.

"You're just as bad as Sirius," He said finally, motioning to the nearly finished cigarette in my hand. "He smokes like a chimney," He pulled a face and leaned forward, clasping his hands loosely between his knees.

I tried and, by the knowing look on Remus's face, failed to look like I couldn't care less about anything Black did. I took another drag and then stubbed it out, sighing loudly. I'd been doing a lot of that lately.

"What's this really about?" He asked quietly, looking me directly in the eye, like Black had a habit of doing. I flinched.

"What do you mean?" I asked, feigning ignorance; I didn't really want to have this conversation with him when my own thoughts on the matter were so chaotic.

"You know what I mean. What's going on with you and Sirius?"

"It's…complicated," Remus waited, not for one second falling for it. "I don't know. I don't know how to do this! I mean, Black, he annoys the living shit out of me, but at the same time…"

"You're in love with him aren't you?"

I flinched and looked away, staring at my knotted fingers.

Remus was silent and after a couple of minutes I looked back up at him.

"I can't – it's just – I can't do this!" I exploded.

He looked confused for the first time.

"You can't do what?"

"Have a boyfriend…be close to a…man…that way," I said, huffing loudly to hide my embarrassment at such a silly-sounding admission. He laughed and I whipped my head around at the sound, slightly irritated.

"What's so funny?"

"Tammie, there isn't a handbook for this type of stuff," He said, sobering up. "You've just got to go with your gut."

"That's just it though: my gut's telling me to push him as far away from me as I can. Have you ever had a girlfriend?" I asked him suddenly. He shrugged.

"Of course," He said and then grinned. "I'm no social retard."

If he was implying that I was a social retard I wasn't going to hold it against him. He was spot on.

"Well, how do you do it? I mean, let somebody in like that? I'm not used to being close to anybody that way. It doesn't feel natural," The most honest thing I'd ever said, and I almost regretted having said it; the look Remus gave me was a mixture of empathy and pity. He looked like he couldn't quite find the right words.

"You'll figure it out – both of you. Don't worry," He laughed then, the deep, comforting sound of it rumbling around the common room. "I've never seen two people more perfect for each other in my life, but…you've got to be patient with him as well. You know how he is."

"Yes," I agreed dryly. "I do know how he is."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I waltzed into the Great Hall the next morning feeling more cheerful than I had in a while.

My plan was very simple: go up to Black and apologise for being so stubborn and stupid. Then I'd take it from there.

That part made me nervous, but I knew it was time to get over myself, get over my phobia of…whatever it was I was afraid of.

I caught Remus's eye as he glanced up from the book he had propped up against the milk jug and immediately knew something was wrong; his lips were pursed and he looked extremely irritated.

My walk slowed as I made my way over to them, my eyes scanning the table.

My stomach churned unpleasantly as I pinpointed what had him so annoyed.

Sitting across from him next to James was Black. Wrapped around him like a second skin was the one girl guaranteed to get my back up: Helen McDougall. She caught my eye and smirked smugly, reaching over to run her hands through his hair, and then murmuring something in his ear.

Something which made him smirk in reply.

I felt my face twist in rage for half a second before I smoothed it into the well-rehearsed blank mask.

Suddenly, I hated the girl more than I'd ever hated anybody before. My hand itched to grab the wand in my pocket.

My mouth was paper-dry as I sat down stiffly next to Remus. We exchanged a long look before I reached over to grab the coffee pot, my appetite suddenly gone. My mind was both racing and still, and I was both angry and numb.

I felt very odd.

Much as I tried, I couldn't seem to help glancing at Black. For a timeless moment we just stared into each other's eyes, a sort of understanding passing between us.

He broke the moment by turning – still holding my helpless gaze – to Helen and taking her face between his hands, his gaze flickering between us.

He kissed her then, full on the mouth.

My jaw fell open as the kiss turned into something a lot more passionate…and private; I watched with barely concealed horror and shock as her hands tangled in his hair and she pressed herself eagerly against him.

I stood up, somehow knocking over the pitcher by my elbow. I barely noticed that my whole right side was drenched in pumpkin juice.

I practically ran out of the Great Hall, heading for the Black Lake.

Remus caught up with me before I'd even gone halfway.

"Rosie!" He panted, catching hold of my arms and turning me around. He didn't let go even as I tried to pull myself away.

I felt strange, and I tried to feel what my face looked like from the outside.

"Rosie – I'm so sorry. Sirius can be a complete idiot sometimes, and he's just being a little…he's just trying to, you know…" He trailed off, trying to catch my eye and gauge my expression.

I blinked, and tried to blank my face out.

"It's fine – it's fine. I'm just going to go on a walk. I'm fine, Remus," I repeated firmly, looking pointedly at the vice-like grip he had on my upper arms. He let go slowly, his eyes darting over my face. He raised an eyebrow.

"You're sure?"

I tried to smile, but it came out looking like a grimace of pain. I turned away, but I only made it a few steps before I whirled around again, finding that Remus hadn't moved an inch and was still watching me warily; he was a very good friend.

I suddenly felt full of energy again – I had an amazingly diabolical plan. It couldn't fail, I knew it.

I smirked evilly to myself.

"Remus!" I skipped back up to him and grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him slightly. He looked rather alarmed at my sudden change of mood.

"Who does Black dislike the most in our year?" His eyes went wide, and he looked away, not saying anything. I knew he was on to my idea. "Who?" I pressed. He sighed.

"Why?"

"You know why."

"I'm not going to tell you."

"Remus, if you value my sanity at all, you're going to tell me."

He sighed again, but it was resigned. "McLaggen," He breathed, and as soon as the name was out he looked like he wanted to kick himself. I reached up and kissed him quickly on the cheek.

"Thank you, Remus!" I shouted over my shoulder as I sprinted back up to the castle.

Two could play at this game.