Innocence Meet Jealousy...Isn't She Stunning?

I could never really claim to be a very outspoken person. I was quiet and concealed for the most part, thoughtful in my ways. I avoided the bad and did my best to embrace the good. I wasn’t afraid of life; I just felt it was much easier to view certain things with a skeptical mind.

However, I knew that I wasn’t boring, I was different. I was opinionated and not easily persuaded, stubborn if you will. I knew what I liked and what I didn’t, what I approved and what I found unacceptable.

I, Jennah Hendrick, was quiet, shy, timid but only by choice. My thoughts were strong and my will even stronger. I was a concealed weapon.

It was because of these facts that I did what I did that day after school.

I was a ticking time bomb and it was about time I hit zero.

//

I was the last one to leave class after the sounding of the final bell, silently announcing the start of the weekend. I was staking my time, my mind still wandering elsewhere as I contemplated all my options of life.

“Have a nice weekend, Jennah.” My teacher said to me as I neared the door.

“You too.” I said in the cheeriest voice I could muster which, even then, wasn’t all that chipper.

I moseyed slowly to my locker alone, hoping I would run into someone I knew soon. Unfortunately, I found no one.

As I glanced at the clock I realized I still had over an hour before track practice started as a sudden urge to throw myself down the stairs overcame me. Maybe practice wasn’t such a good idea…

“Jen!” a voice called behind me. I spun around automatically to see my friend Lilly jogging clumsily towards me. I didn’t answer, only stood there staring as she caught up. “Where are you going?” she asked as we fell into step together.

“Home.” I answered bluntly, staring at the tips of my mocs as we walked.

“You’re not going to practice?” she asked, an ulterior motive seeming to sound from her voice.

“No, not today.” I answered, avoiding legitimate reasoning.

She smiled to herself, running into me to avoid a tiny freshman. I glanced at the small girl, smiling to myself as well when I noticed that I was taller than her, “Oh okay, then I’m not gonna go either ‘cause I dunno where Ady is and I’m not going alone. Do you wanna stay after with me ‘cause I don’t have a ride ‘til like, three.”

I paused, seriously considering denying her request and leaving, “Fine.” I huffed, thinking about what a good friend I was.

I wasn’t quite sure how she managed, but she maintained a steady solitary conversation, receiving either little or no response from me. I don’t think she would have gotten one even if she’d asked—I was hardly listening.

“Lilly!” I heard someone yell from the hall to the right of us.

“—but I don’t know, I’m just really excited for it. Do you know what time we’re going?” she continued, seeming not to have heard her name called.

I elbowed her in the side to get her attention as the boy approached, “Lil!” he called again, quieter this time.

Lilly turned to face the boy, a smile springing upon her face the moment she saw him, “Jeff!”

I stood awkwardly as I watched the two of them embrace each other lovingly, wishing I’d said no when I had the chance.

I tried to look far too entranced in the construction of my coat zipper to be listening to their conversation as they stood close together, speaking in hushed tones, making me want to pry them apart forcibly, “Are you sure?” Lilly asked him in an innocent tone.

“Of course.” He answered, subtly lacing his fingers with hers.

“Okay.” She smiled and nodded, turning just her head towards me, “Jen, you don’t have to stay with me if you don’t want. Jeff’s gonna bring me home.”

“Um, alright…” I answered slowly, silently smacking her for doing this to me when I had already missed the bus. I was quickly becoming more and more irritated with her and her new boyfriend.

“Do you want a ride too?” Jeff had the decency to ask.

I was about to say yes until I realized how little I wanted to be subjected to this kind of thing, “Nah, that’s all right. I’m just gonna go to the library and work on some homework.” I lied, knowing I’d be calling my mother the moment they left. I really hated not having my own car.

I barely even muttered a farewell before I left them, retreating down the hall, although I hardly think they noticed. All I wanted was sleep, but really, what else was new?

And that was how i found myself alone again, walking the halls.

The halls were empty, shiny not in a sense that they were new but that they were always that way.

I listened to the steady sound of my mocs hitting the tiled floors lightly as I enjoyed the feeling of being alone and in the peace and quiet. Silence was all I asked for right now, no sound, none at all.

But did I ever get exactly what I wanted? Of course not.

I rounded the corner of the hall, happy I’d avoided the awkward passing that usually came with passing an acquaintance in a hushed hallway, and nearly stopped dead in my tracks.

I panicked for a moment, wondering if I should turn around and head the other way. I knew it was a foolish thing to consider, but I almost did.

With a deep breath in attempt to calm my nerves and my thumping heart, I picked my feet up again, my eyes glued to the figure, digging frantically through the contents of his locker.

Walk quickly; it’s no big deal… I kept telling myself. But I couldn’t help but glare at his messy head. Jerk.

I was almost past him, almost in the clear when, of course, he lifted his head and looked right at me.

Oh no…

“Hey!” Christofer greeted me, smiling wide in recognition.

I couldn’t speak at first, I could only stare. Snap out of it!, I scolded myself.

“Hi.” I returned, coming to an unwilling stop beside him, my face as blank and emotionless as I could possibly make it.

“I met you at the concert, right?” he asked, coming to stand on his feet.

I nodded in confirmation and shifted my weight from foot to foot, “Yes.”

“Did you find everyone all right?”

I nodded again, refusing to give him sufficient answers, “I did.”

Shooting me a somewhat confused look, he glanced back down at his mess of a locker, “Good.”

My stomach was thumping hard, almost harder than my pulse, “Are you looking for something?” I asked, knowing perfectly well what he wanted.

“Yeah, I lost a notebook of mine.” He said, his tone turning just as bland as mine had previously been.

Swiftly and subtly, I swung my backpack off my one shoulder and grabbed his notebook right from its contents, shocking him with my find, “Is this it?”

He didn’t answer at first, staring at me wide eyed and slightly stunned, “Uh…yeah. Where’d you find it?” he questioned, quickly grabbing it from my grasp.

“English class.” I answered. He made an O with his mouth and bobbed his head, clearly wondering if I’d read any of it, probably hoping to God I hadn’t.

Things were silent as we both awaited his question.

Finally, he spoke. “Did you read it?”

I took one deep breath and closed my eyes for a moment long than usual before responding, “Yes, I did.”

Something seemed to fall in his eyes. I knew at this point that this notebook must have been filled with his inner most thoughts because I was only a stranger and he had no idea that Tristin was related to me in any way and he still reacted as if he knew it all, knew me so well.

He didn’t speak, his face shy with embarrassment, “Do you want to tell me yourself what happened the night I met you, or do I need to tell you what I read and what it means to me?”

He shot me a confused look, laced with a slight hint of anger as he tried to figure out what I meant, “What?”

“The very last entry in your notebook there explains some problems you encountered the night of that concert. You admitted to getting into some trouble with one of the bands and beating a kid up.” I explained, words just spilling from my mouth in a bought of anger, a feeling that I’d never experienced before. I’d never been this so aggressive with someone so new, “That kid you beat up was in fact my fourteen year old brother, Tristin.”

Again, Christofer didn’t answer.

“I just thought you’d like to know that little factoid.” I said, snide and mean in my tone, “It’s been nice talking to you. And you’re welcome for your notebook.” I turned on my heels and walked away from the boy left stunned and open mouthed.

“Wait!” he yelled after me. But I didn’t stop.
And he didn’t follow me. He knew what he did.
And he knew his secret was out.