Status: slowly being updated.
My Hero.
My Hero - four.
My brother stowed the clothes I had been wearing to the funeral in a plastic carrier bag and handed me jeans and one of his own t-shirts.
"I know you love it," he smiled, "keep it."
I hugged him, crying, and looked at it.
It was black, oversized on even Ian, who was six foot four, and had of one of Bach's pieces illustrated on it. Bach was one of my favourite composers, and his music alone, I knew, would help me to grieve for Andrew.
I changed in the toilet and washed my face. I glared at my own image in the mirror. Long, matted, greasy brown hair clung to my tired face, my green eyes dull, my lips rough and chapped, and my skin cracked and uneven. It didn’t matter what I looked like anymore. I sighed but scrubbed away the last of the makeup and rejoined my family who were waiting in Reception. I held my father's hand tightly and Ian carried the bag of funeral clothes, as I hated the smell of the incense which had lingered to my clothes.
I got into Ian's small car and clipped my belt in. I waved briefly to my family who had travelled in Addy's Beetle.
"I can't believe I'm pregnant." I spoke not to Ian in particular, but thin air.
I turned to my brother, who was waiting for a people carrier to go pass to pull out of the parking space.
"Am I being...I dunno...tested by God or something?" It sounded stupid, I knew, but I truly wondered. Why was I being punished like this? I nearly started crying again-it was only when Ian spoke that I blinked back the burning, white hot tears that threatened to fall.
"Don't be silly, Lil. I think this...is like a reward. Like, Andy's in heaven, looking down on you, but he's given you a part of him to love and keep forever," Ian held my hand briefly and smiled before pulling out.
"I never thought of it like that." I stated, hugging my stomach and looking at it.
"But how will I manage?" I asked him, stroking my stomach.
"We'll all pitch in. Anytime you need us!" He paused, then leaned closer to me, "if it's a 3am emergency, please try and ring Addy first." He grinned cheekily and laughed.
I laughed too; glad that Ian could always put me at peace. I sat back in the seat and closed my eyes, seeing Andy smiling at me before I fell asleep.
I waved goodbye to Ian, who beeped his horn and waved before driving off, and then opened the door to the stairs leading to my flat.
"I know you love it," he smiled, "keep it."
I hugged him, crying, and looked at it.
It was black, oversized on even Ian, who was six foot four, and had of one of Bach's pieces illustrated on it. Bach was one of my favourite composers, and his music alone, I knew, would help me to grieve for Andrew.
I changed in the toilet and washed my face. I glared at my own image in the mirror. Long, matted, greasy brown hair clung to my tired face, my green eyes dull, my lips rough and chapped, and my skin cracked and uneven. It didn’t matter what I looked like anymore. I sighed but scrubbed away the last of the makeup and rejoined my family who were waiting in Reception. I held my father's hand tightly and Ian carried the bag of funeral clothes, as I hated the smell of the incense which had lingered to my clothes.
I got into Ian's small car and clipped my belt in. I waved briefly to my family who had travelled in Addy's Beetle.
"I can't believe I'm pregnant." I spoke not to Ian in particular, but thin air.
I turned to my brother, who was waiting for a people carrier to go pass to pull out of the parking space.
"Am I being...I dunno...tested by God or something?" It sounded stupid, I knew, but I truly wondered. Why was I being punished like this? I nearly started crying again-it was only when Ian spoke that I blinked back the burning, white hot tears that threatened to fall.
"Don't be silly, Lil. I think this...is like a reward. Like, Andy's in heaven, looking down on you, but he's given you a part of him to love and keep forever," Ian held my hand briefly and smiled before pulling out.
"I never thought of it like that." I stated, hugging my stomach and looking at it.
"But how will I manage?" I asked him, stroking my stomach.
"We'll all pitch in. Anytime you need us!" He paused, then leaned closer to me, "if it's a 3am emergency, please try and ring Addy first." He grinned cheekily and laughed.
I laughed too; glad that Ian could always put me at peace. I sat back in the seat and closed my eyes, seeing Andy smiling at me before I fell asleep.
I waved goodbye to Ian, who beeped his horn and waved before driving off, and then opened the door to the stairs leading to my flat.
♠ ♠ ♠
ian is so sweet.