Love Is Only a Myth

Anthony and Scarlet talked (flirted) on the way to Eric’s dorm, but I didn’t care (I did just not as much). I was too nervous to focus on that right now. I’m stuck in a difficult situation.

My best friend in the entire world just said that….he likes me a lot (well I can’t say what he said). Even though I don’t believe in love, I do have slight feelings for Eric, that’s what makes this situation even worse, the fact that I have the smallest crush on him and he is beyond a crush. He’s my best friend and I don’t want to lose him but I don’t want to lead him on either.

“Lex are you okay?” Scarlet asked

“Yeah, yeah I’m….fine”

“Well why haven’t you gone in yet?”

I looked up and realized that I was standing in front of Eric’s door. I was thinking so much didn’t notice that we had reached his dorm room. I took a deep breath as I stared at the door.

“We’ll be here when you get out”

I nodded and entered the room. I was shocked by what I saw when I entered. London and Eric were sitting on what I’m guessing was his bed. She looked like she was saying something to him while he was just looking at the ground. I cleared my throat and their eyes fell on me. London stood up and smoothed out her short denim skirt.

“I’ll give you two some privacy”

“That’s probably for the best” I spat with plenty of venom in my voice.

She glared as she walked past and I returned the favor. As soon as she was gone, I set my attention on Eric. I set my books down on his dresser and stared at him.

“You wanted to see me?” I questioned breaking the silence.

He sighed before looking up at me. “Alexis, I don’t really know what to say”

The feelings mutual Eric.

“I know that you don’t feel the same way about me because you don’t believe in it but….” He sighed. I felt even guilty than I did before watching him explain things to me…well trying to explain a complicated situation.

“Honestly I can’t say that--” “Eric” I interrupted. “Just stop okay”

He looked at me with a shocked expression “Stop? Alexis this isn’t something that you can just stop”

“I’m not asking you to stop having those feelings for me” Even though there not true “I’m asking you to stop trying to explain what happened.”

I hesitantly walked over to him and sat down next to him on the bed. “We already know what happened, an explanation is only going to make things more complicated. What we really need to know is what happens now, because I’m not okay with leading you on like this”

“So you’re saying that you have absolutely no feelings for me?” he looked up at me and our eyes locked.

I felt even guiltier when I looked into his eyes. His eyes were filled with sadness and something else that I couldn’t recognize. He looked pained and hurt. I’ve never seen him like this before; so pained and helpless. I couldn’t bare to do this to him. He was my best friend and I was hurting him the most.

“Well?” he said breaking my train of thoughts.

“Well…I…” I sighed. “I do have feelings for you Eric but…..not like…how you feel about me”

He turned away from me and mumbled something under his breath that I didn’t quite catch.

“What?”

He sighed one more. “I said, I just don’t get it Alexis. I have feelings for you and you have feelings for me but you want us to stay as friends”

“I didn’t say that I wanted us to be just friends”

He turned to face me with a shock but hopeful expression. “So are you saying that you don’t want us to be just friends?”

“Well…not exactly”

His expression fell causing me to have an empty feeling in my stomach. I hated doing this to him.

“Then what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that….I don’t want to lead you on” I explained, mumbling the last part. “I feel like if anything happens between us and I don’t feel exactly the same way…well not the same way but close to that, that it just won’t feel right; You’ll probably just get hurt in the end so it’s best that we just--” “Okay” he interrupted.

I raised my eyebrows at him. “Okay?” He nodded his head in response.

“But…can you answer one thing for me?”

“Sure”

He took a deep breath before asking me the question. “Is it because of Anthony?”

I blinked a few times once the words left his mouth, Anthony. What does Anthony have to do with this? Sure, I might just have the smallest attraction to him slightly smaller than the world’s smallest milligram, but he still doesn’t have anything to do with Eric and me. Why would Eric think….London. She told me that Eric saw Anthony comforting me but still that can’t be it.

“Why do you think that anything has to do with him?”

“Well the way you two were looking at each other this morning and outside the building and…well is it him?”

I blinked a few more times. I didn’t think that there was anything special in how we were looking at each other this morning. We were just…..I don’t know….looking I guess. “Anthony doesn’t have anything to do with this,” I finally explained.

He nodded his head and mumbled something that sounded like ‘good’ but I shrugged it off. I stood up off the bed and grabbed my things from the dresser top.

“So are we still best friends, I understand if were not I mean under the circumstances and all--” “Yes Lexis we’re still best friends” he interrupted with a smile. I returned the favor as I heard my old nickname again. I started walking towards the door.

“Hey Lexis?” I heard him call.

“Hmm?” I questioned as I turned around. I almost jumped when I saw how close he was to me. I did I not hear him.

“You dropped this?” he said as he handed me my sketch book.

“Thanks, I don’t know what I would have done without it,” I said as I place my sketch book on top of my other things.

“Anytime” he whispered as he tucked a stray hair behind my ear.

The next thing that happened I should have seen coming.

Eric gently placed his lips on mine. They were warm and soft. I sighed, closed my eyes and began to kiss back.