It Was Easier Not Loving You

"What?! Why?!" Tre screamed.

Niki lowered her head. "It...it's just a difficult situation I need to figure out by myself."

"So you're moving in with Billie? That makes no fucking sense, Niki. What's wrong? You can talk to me."

"I wish it were that easy. I don't want you to be hurt, though."

"Hurt me? What are you talking about?"

Niki didn't reply, but looked down at the floor.

Tre placed his hands on her shoulders. "Niki, what's wrong? You're starting to worry me."

He pulled her into his chest and held her close. She closed her eyes and they swelled up in tears.

"I- I'm confused because I don't know who-" she cracked briefly "I'm in love with."

He pulled back and stared at her. "What are you talking about?"

"I know you like me, but Mike says he does too. You know what happened between us, but I liked him a little before that too. After what happened I thought I left the thought and started falling in love with you until he called me that day." She exhaled, pulling herself back into his chest and began sobbing harder. "I love you, Tre, I really do-"

"If you did, then why are you leaving?"

She pulled back and gazed through tears into his eyes. His eyes were filled with pain and tears. His face began turning red.

"If you loved me then why are you confused? Why?" he pleaded.

"I don't want to hurt either of you. I know if I stay with you then I'll hurt him, but if I go with him I'll hurt you and it will probably end your friendship with each other. I'd rather find another studio to rebuild my business than break up your friendship. I'd feel horrible if I knew I broke you two up." She squeezed his torso.

"But why Billie's?"

"Because there I won't be distracted by either of you all the time. When I'm with you I'm completely with you, but when Mike comes over then I'm confused and I don't want you guys to fight. At Billie's I can get my mind off this every now and then. I would go to Alec's, but her mom lives with her at the moment."

Tre exhaled and laid his cheek onto the top of her head and ran his hand up and down her back.

"I understand." He paused. "Take all the time you need. I'll be waiting for you."

"I'll be waiting for you." It rang in her ears like an echo, over and over again, for days. She sobbed every time she heard it. She had moved her necessities over to Billie's and stayed in her new room for the first three days. She gloomily walked around the Armstrong house always lost in thought as to what path to take.

"Niki, honey, you're going to have to perk up. You're starting to depress me," Adie said.

Niki rose her head up off the kitchen table and turned to look at her. Her eyes sagged from the pain and crying.

"I'm sorry...I just don't know what to do. It's been six weeks. I haven't talked to anyone and I still haven't made a fucking decision. Why is love this difficult?"

Adrienne sat down in the chair next to her, pulled her hands to the side, and held them. "Hun, love is the most amazing thing when you're actually in love. You haven't been around Mike enough to know if you actually love him. You've been around Tre a lot, though. You're going to have to spend some time with him to figure out which one to go with, if either of them."

She sniffed. "How will I know if it's love or not?"

"If you were in love, you would definitely know. No matter how long you're with them, whether it be three weeks or thirty years, you still get butterflies and excited about doing something as small as going to the drive-thru to get something to eat because you know you're with them and spending time with them. No matter what you do they forgive you, and vice versa. Mistakes are just a stepping stone in your relationship and you learn from them. You know that people make mistakes and you don't let it get in the way of your love. "

Niki's face became blank. "That's how Tre acts. God knows how many golf clubs I've bent from him trying to teach me how to play."

"Damn, That's love. He wouldn't talk to Billie for two weeks after he bent one of them. How many did you bend?"

"Four?"

"Good God, you're special."

She shrugged. "Guess so..."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know...but what has been bothering me is what he said."

"What? He didn't take it bad, did he?"

"No...he said, "I'll be waiting for you.""

"No need in me saying he knows you'll be back for him."

"Yeah...but I still want to test Mike out. I don't want to jump to conclusions."

"It's your choice, dear."

"Thanks, Adie, you're such an angel." She pulled her into a hug.

She chuckled. "I don't know about that, but I'll be sure to report this to God for you."

"I'm going to call Mike. Thanks so much."

"No problem."

Niki ran up to her room and grabbed her cell phone off the night stand. She scrolled through the contacts and called Mike.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Hey, Mike."

"Oh hey, Niki, what's up?"

"Nothing really," she lied, "I was wondering if you wanted to go do something today."

"Uh, sure, like what?"

"I don't know, dinner maybe?"

"Sounds good to me. When and where should I meet you?"

"You decide."

"You're the one that called me, though."

"So?"

He sighed. "How about that Chinese restaurant down the street from the movies?"

"Why not?"

"Okay, I'll pick you up at six?"

"Three hours?"

"You said I decide." He chuckled.

"Well, how about 45 minutes?"

"Okay, 45 minutes. See you soon."

"Alright, bye."

"Bye."

She closed her phone and placed it back on the dresser. She pulled out each drawer, one by one, to find clean clothes. "Damn, no socks. I'm Not wearing a dress to a Chinese restaurant."

She placed her finger on her lip and narrowed her eyes. A grin began to scrape it's way across her face. She grabbed the clothes she picked out, ran to the bathroom, showered, dried and straightened her hair, dressed, and lightly applied make-up. She slowly made her way to Billie's room and took a pair of socks. No, not an evil plan, but it was also his last pair of socks. He was complaining of only having one pair left this morning. She ran to her room, put on the socks and her shoes. She stood up and looked at herself in the mirror.

"Yes, very casual," she said to herself in the mirror.

She stopped and thought back to what Adrienne had said earlier about the excitement and butterflies. She felt them. She felt like she was having a small anxiety attack. She smiled slightly at it. 'Maybe this is it.' she thought.

The front door opened. She peeked out her door and saw Mike standing at the door. She grabbed her cell and ran downstairs to meet him.

"Hey, ready to go?" he asked.

"Mhm."

They walked, one behind the other, to the car and headed off to the restaurant.

Tre laid on his bed staring at the ceiling. 'what does he have that I don't?'he asked himself. 'I'm funnier, cuter, and I've been with her longer. My ex didn't try to kill her, either.' He turned over on his side, pulled his pillow to his chest, and hugged it tight. "I want her back..." he said.