I Can Keep A Secret

I returned all the proper articles of clothing back on my body, Alex was laying still and I wasn't sure if he was asleep or not. I was terrified hoping I could sneak out, I'd never done this before, in fact, I lost my virginity to Alex and I slept with one other guy after dating for ten months. I felt dirty and ashamed and it felt right. Not the dirty and ashamed part, but being with Alex. There was always something between us making him impossible to resist for me. I sighed as I pulled my shirt over my head. Stealing one last look at Alex before unlocking the door.

"Where are you going?" Alex poked up out of nowhere, slightly scaring me. I chuckled turning around, his hair was everywhere and his muscles were defined, he had a very clear t-shirt tan and I laughed shaking my head.

"Back to my tent, you know work?" I said, he didn't seem to believe me but that was probably because I was lying. I was actually freaking out, in my head of course. My mental alarm was ringing loudly due to unfamiliar territory. The sad thing is if Alex asked me to marry him and pop out a couple of kids I would say yes. Despite everything he's ever done to me and despite the constant turbulence of our relationship.

"No you're not," he said, my heart raced and fingers tingled with the sensation that he had just read my mind, I tried to clear it, before realizing how ridiculous I was being, a character Alex brought out in me. "You're staying with me all day." I bit my lip and laughed a little. I could come up with a witty remark right now, but part of me didn't want to. I could just strip off my shirt and plop right back into bed with him, but my mind told me not to.

"What did you have in mind?" I asked crossing my arms and leaning against the now open door. He looked around at the spot where I had been and patted it eagerly smiling like a child who was trying to prove his innocence after being caught stealing a cookie or something equally juvenile. I shook my head and he pouted lightly.

"Why not?" He whined, I started to walk out to the main living area of the bus, picking up his tank top and throwing it at him. He caught in and laughed reminiscing.

"You know why," I smiled, raising my eyebrows with concern. He played it off and started to get dressed. He knew I wasn't the girl who had taboo relationships guys she had sworn off at the age of eighteen. I was the girl who didn't fall in love, but when she did, she crashed and burned. And I was smelling the fires. Alex knew who I was and I knew he knew. He was a little harder to figure out. One minute he's the cute, loving and perfect boyfriend, next he's off bopping the closest thing with a vagina.

"Let's explore the city, my love!" He said in an obnoxious cockney accent . I laughed out loud and he slipped his arm around my waist as we climbed off the bus. It felt like we had been in there forever since the sun was beginning to descend on the sky. I shook my head wondering what I was getting myself into. I did love Alex Gaskarth,but I had to look out for myself, and even though I feel completely awkward. If this was the only way I could be with Alex, without being with him I would do it.

"I really do have to go back to my tent Alex," I said bringing myself close to his ear. He made a face and finally turned us around walking back towards the fence we had escaped to.

"But then I can't hang out with you, or do this-" He said kissing me softly. I smiled and deepened the kiss grabbing on top his hips. He wrapped his arms around me as I brought mine up on his chest, I felt safe in his arms and I didn't want to leave them.

"Sucks for you, being too famous, but I suppose I can still do this-" I said mocking him and leaning in and kissing him softly biting his lower lip before running off to my tent, once I had passed the laminate threshold Alex looked up desperately.

"Every FUCKING TIME!" he yelled I laughed softly blushing and bumped face first into John's chest. I don't know how this kept happening, but hey he was attractive and smelt good so he was the quintessential person to bump into. I rubbed my nose that was slightly stinging from the clash with his bony clavicle.

"Fuck dude, why does this keep happening," I smiled after apologizing, "Its not like your hard to miss," Laughing at his height. He shrugged and laughed looking around. Rubbing where my face had collided with him in slight pain. He looked amused and his glowering eyes met mine.

"Yeah, I'm pretty studly, if I do say so myself," He said laughing before looking at me, "so where are you heading off to?" He was joking, but also semi-serious, he had a certain element of cockiness that, let's face it, is alluring.

"Actually my tent, and running away from Alex," I laughed and pointed over to a frustrated Alex retreating to the bus we had just been at. John nodded understanding and he laced his arm over me and started walking me to my tent.

"So you were running away from Alex and ran into me, that's a sign if I ever saw one," John said with his patented crooked smile that ran shivers down my spine, "so why don't we grab dinner?"

"You mean catering?" I said slipping out of his grip and over to my tent smiling with my unromantic blatancy.

"Tomato, Tomahto," John shrugged, "so how about it?"

"Why not?" I asked smiling biting my lip slightly, but the voice in my head kept answering, Alex. I felt my phone vibrate in my pockets and looked down to see a number I didn't recognize reading;

"Dinner tonight :)"

I looked around slightly confused, I hadn't given my number to anyone lately. I decided to respond instead.

"Who is this?"

It immediately buzzed back and I read it,

"Think about it, meet you at eight at the catering line"

I hated the lack of answers but I assumed that was all I was going to get out. It could've been John and him being funny, or it could be something among the lines of a secret admirer, which was a little more complexation than I needed right now. I sighed and simply waited for the evening to come.