A Beautiful Disgrace

“I thought you liked my brother!” Pat shouted so Mae could hear him as soon as she walked into her room.
Mae opened up her window and looked at Pat. At first she didn’t see Garrett. He waved and then she spotted him.
“What?” Mae asked confused.
“I thought you liked Tim!” Pat was still shouting.
It surprised Pat at how angry he sounded. It hadn’t bothered him before, but now he felt like he had to protect Tim. Pat knew that Tim was going to get hurt in this situation but he wanted to try to protect him because they were brothers.
He didn’t want to be mad at Mae either. In fact he didn’t even know for sure if she and John were dating. It was surely enough evidence that he saw Mae and John making out on her bed, but he didn’t want to believe it. Pat hoped there was another explanation for it.
“I do.” Mae said still confused.
“Then why are you hanging out with John?” Pat said John’s name like it was a disease.
“What?”
“Mae, we saw you and John making out.” Garrett sighed bringing her into what they knew.
“Oh, that.” Mae said as her face fell.
She plopped into her chair and sighed. She knew this was going to have to come some time; she didn’t expect it to be this soon though.
Mae felt slightly ashamed over it as well. She felt like she was potentially leading John on and she didn’t want to do that to him. He was such a nice guy and he really seemed interested in her. Somehow she felt like this was going to ruin anything she’d ever had with John and potentially Tim as well.
“What was that?” Garrett asked.
Pat sat down in his chair and looked at his feet. He wanted to not feel so angry but he couldn’t help it. He thought that he was going to somehow be able to get Tim and Mae together finally and then this had to happen.
“I… John and I are… he got down on his knees and he begged me to give him a chance. I couldn’t say no.” Mae said while looking down and then added quietly. “The worst part is, dating him isn’t that bad.”
“It’s only been one day.” Pat said looking up.
“I know, but it’s not that much different than before. I mean, John’s just John. He’s not a bad kisser and he is considerate. I think I’m screwed.”
“How come you didn’t say no?” Garrett asked.
“You know I can’t say no, Garrett. It’s not easy for me and it’s not easy when someone is on their knees begging me for a chance.”
“Yes it is! You say ‘I see you as a brother’ and that’s the end of it!” Now Garrett was feeling as frustrated as Pat.
“I did Garrett. I told him that. I’ve said that hundreds of times to him and it doesn’t bother him. He just got on his knees and begged me.”
“Persistent little guy.” Pat mumbled so only Garrett could hear.
Mae caught Pat’s lips moving but she didn’t know what he said.
“I’ve screwed up haven’t I? I should just call John and tell him I can’t do this.” Mae started to pick up her phone.
“No! Don’t do that. You’ll crush him.” Garrett said holding his hand up.
“It’ll only get worse if I drag it out on him.”
“Well you said before that it wasn’t so bad right?”
“Point being?” Mae asked.
Pat looked up at Garrett like he was ruining things now. If Garrett is on board with Mae and John then what am I going to do? I have to tell Tim. He’s my brother and I can’t let him get that hurt. He probably won’t care much anyways. He’s only got a crush on her. Pat was lost in his thinking and he missed everything that Garrett had said to Mae. He cursed himself and then tried to get back into the conversation.
“…I like him and all, but I’m just not sure how I like him. It’s weird after today. He took me on one of the best dates I’ve ever been on and I think that changed something…” Mae trailed off.
“Well, maybe you’re supposed to be dating John. Who knows? The only thing you can do, Mae Flowers, is just ride it out and see about everything.” Garrett said using her nickname that he’d heard her parents call her.
“I guess, I mean John said he’d only leave me alone if we had a legitimate and real reason to break up.”
“So make one up!” Pat almost shouted in desperation.
“That wouldn’t be real.” Mae sighed.
“Half truths?” Pat was desperate now.
“No.”
Pat sighed and sank to the floor again and got lost in his thinking. Mae’s phone began to ring. She looked and it was John calling her. A new wave of excitement passed through her that she hadn’t felt before when he called her. For a moment it frightened her and then she calmed down. This was how dating someone was supposed to feel. This was… right.
Garrett saw Mae’s face light up and he knew in a moment they would be saying good-bye to her. He sighed and looked down at Pat. Pat was texting his brother and asking when he would be able to talk in person.
“Hey guys, I have to go.” Mae said to Garrett because he was the only one she could see.
“Yea, go talk to your boyfriend.” Garrett waved her off and shut his window.
Mae answered her phone and shut the blinds so Garrett and Pat couldn’t watch her. The real reason for her shutting them was so that they couldn’t see just how happy she felt talking to John now. She wasn’t even sure about how she felt about having these feelings.
“Hey Garrett?”
“Yea Pat.”
“I have to go. My mom wants me home now.” Pat lied.
“Okay, see you later man.”
“Bye.”
Pat got up and walked down the hall, down the stairs, and out the front door. He climbed into his car. He only stopped to pull his vibrating phone from his pocket. Tim had texted him.
You sure you can’t just call me and tell me? He’d asked.
Yea, this is important. It’s about Mae.
Did something happen? Tim shot back so fast is shocked Pat.
No, she’s fine. There’s just something I have to tell you. I’ll be there soon. Calm down.
Tim didn’t calm down much. Now that he knew Mae was involved he was anxious and worried. Was Pat lying to me? Is she hurt? He sat on his front porch watching Tuffy sniff the grass. It was a poor cover up for his impatience but he couldn’t care less. Mae was all he could think about.
As soon as Tim saw headlights at the end of his street he knew it was Pat. He stood up and started pacing while Tuffy stood in the grass looking at Tim like he was crazy. Pat parked and laughed to himself when he saw Tim pacing. Is he this worried about her being hurt?
“Hey.” Pat said walking up.
“Hi.”
Tim opened the front door and let Pat into the house. Tuffy followed jumping at Pat’s heels. Pat picked him up, planted a kiss between his ears, and then put him down.
Tim sat on the couch and Pat curled up in a chair.
“So what’s up?” Tim asked; his eagerness barely even disguised.
“Well I don’t know how you’re going to take this but… Mae and John are going out.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean Mae and John are dating. He’s her boyfriend and she’s his girlfriend. It started today. I saw them with my own eyes.”
“Oh.” Tim said quietly.
He was relieved that nothing was really wrong with her physically. For a moment it almost seemed good to him that Mae was only dating John. Then the meaning of the words sank in. I waited too long. Just like she’d said. I had so many chances before and I never took them.Tim sighed and looked down.
“It was bound to happen.” He said quietly.
“I’m sorry. I was trying to do something… I know you like her.”
“It’s fine Pat. There are other girls.” Tim looked up at Pat with a smile.
“So you’re okay then?”
“Of course. She’s just a girl, Pat.”
“Okay, I thought you were going to be sad or something.”
“No, I’m fine.
“Okay, Mom wants me home so I have to go.” Pat said getting up. “I just had to let you know about that.”
“Thanks. See you later I guess.”
“See ya. Love ya!” Pat walked towards the door.
“Love you too little bro.” Tim smiled ruffling Pat’s hair.
Pat left and Tim shut the door. He locked it and then leaned against the door. Tuffy walked out to look at Tim with his head cocked to the side. Tim half smiled at him and then pushed off the door to walk to his room. Tuffy followed him knowing something was up.
The desire to do anything at all tonight was gone. Tim just wanted to go to bed now and try not to think about how he’d been to slow. To think, I was going to see if John wanted to hang out tonight! Oh how that would have been! Tim smiled at the irony and went to his room.
Tuffy followed Tim knowing that he was sad now. Tim pulled his shorts and shirt off before slipping under the covers on his bed. He stared out the window and watched the sky change as the sun set. Tuffy curled up against Tim’s stomach and closed his eyes. Tim absentmindedly rubbed his puppy and thought about Mae.
I was way too slow. Now John’s got her. He’s lucky because she’s amazing. I bet he knows more about her than I do because he’s been chasing her for longer. She’s probably better than I could imagine. Nothing I can do now. I guess I can just hope for the best.
Tim closed his eyes after a while and forced his mind to shut off so he could go to sleep.

Mae went to Pat’s house in the morning. Band practice was supposed to be early so Jared could attend. He had something he was doing later with his girlfriend. Pat had opted to change the time so Jared could be there.
Pat and Mae were in his room with Kennedy. Mae was lying on Pat’s unmade bed while Pat and Kennedy were on the computer laughing at something. There wasn’t much to do until band practice started so Mae closed her eyes and waited for John to show up. She was excited to see him.
Jared and Garrett showed up at the same time and then everyone was waiting on John.
“Where’s your boyfriend Mae?” Garrett asked.
Mae shot him a glare. No one knew about her and John other than Garrett and Pat. Of course she didn’t think that this was a normal question that any of them would ask because John’s infatuation with Mae was not a secret.
“I don’t know.”
“So now you’re saying he is your boyfriend?” Jared asked surprised that Mae had not responded with the standard ‘he’s not my boyfriend’ speech.
“Well… he’s uhm.”
Mae knew she had just messed up. Now she had to figure something out. It was too late though. She saw the glint in Pat’s eye.
“They’re dating.” Pat announced to everyone.
“Really?” Kennedy asked looking up surprised.
“Yea, thanks Patrick.” Mae said looking at Pat.
“What, they were going to find out when he walks in and kisses you anyways.”
“He always kisses her.” Jared reminded him.
“Yea, but she’ll kiss him back.” Garrett smirked.
“Doorbell!” Pat shouted running out of the room when the doorbell rang.
Mae was left to talk to everyone who had no idea about her and John. She confirmed that they were actually dating. They all were taken by surprise but then decided it was only a matter of time.
John came into the room and smiled when he saw Mae. She walked up to him and snuggled into his arms. It felt nice to snuggle into his bony chest and have his arms around her. He kissed the top of her head.
“I didn’t know you were coming.” John said in her ear.
“Pat called me over.” Mae said looking up at John.
“Oh, remind me to thank him.”
They talked like they were alone in their own world.
“I’m right here.” Pat said.
“Thanks Pat.” John smiled before pushing his lips to Mae’s.
She kissed him back. John ran his fingers through her hair and then pulled back smiling at Mae. She couldn’t deny that she melted right there staring into his eyes.
Pat’s eyes flickered to the hallway and he saw Tim standing there. No one else had noticed him yet but from his face Pat could see that Tim had just watched Mae and John. When Tim noticed Pat staring at him he composed himself and walked into the room.
“Hi Tim!” Pat said.
“Hey.” Tim nodded dejectedly.
“What’s up?”
“Just picking up a few things for Mom and taking them out. She needed me to do it. I thought I would come early because Jared mentioned you changed band practice. I haven’t seen you guys play in a while.”
“Oh…” Pat said letting the sound hang in the air.
John pulled Mae into a tighter hug and looked over at Tim with a smile. He wanted to show Tim that he was happy. John didn’t know what Tim’s feelings were after all. John was just ridiculously happy that he had Mae. He could remember Tim giving him advice on how to get a girl and it seemed as though it had paid off. Now he wanted to share that with Tim.
Tim smiled back at him and then nodded at Mae. Mae’s heart quickened when Tim looked at her with a smile but then she felt bad about it. I’m with John, I can’t be thinking about Tim. She hid her face in John’s chest and took a deep breath of his smell. John looked down at her and she looked up at him only to press her lips to his.
Tim was still standing there watching. Everyone in the room had noticed the awkward silence, everyone but John and Mae who were in a world of their own.
“I think I’m just going to take the stuff though.” Tim added looking back at Pat. “I have a few other things to get done today so I thought I’d just pop in and say hi to everyone.”
“Come tomorrow.” Jared said. “Same time as usual.”
“Can’t…” Tim said scrambling for an excuse. “I have something I have to do. Busy you know?”
“Are you coming to the camp out thing we’ve been planning?” Jared asked.
“Yea. I think so. I mean I don’t have anything that I have to get done on that weekend. It’s like a month away. I’m pretty busy now though.”
“Well being the best manager ever does have its price.” John said.
“You have no idea.” Tim mumbled to himself. “See you guys later.”
The guys in the band always get the girls. Why didn’t I join the band? Oh that’s right! I decided to be the manager. Tim left the room. He got what his mom wanted him to take out and he left.
Band practice went on as scheduled. Nothing really happened that was different. When it was over Jared left to go see his girlfriend. The rest of the guys–and Mae–stayed at Pat’s house for a while. Pat called his girlfriend and invited her over. Soon enough the rest of the guys had called their girlfriends over and then they decided to go out and walk around.
John was thrilled to finally not be the extra wheel in the group. He had Mae by his side and their fingers were laced. Mae was content enough to not feel awkward. She couldn’t stop her mind from going back to Tim. He looked fine. Maybe there was never anything there with him and I. I knew I was imagining everything.
Tim was not fine though. He’d just started to really like Mae. She was someone that made him feel things he hadn’t felt before. His crush on her had been stronger than any other one he’d felt before. Maybe I’m just thinking that since I can’t have her now. Tim shook his head as if that would clear his mind and toss the thoughts out.
There wasn’t anything to do around his house. He didn’t really have something to keep him busy. Tim looked out the back window and spotted his mountain bike. He went down to his room and changed so he could go on a ride.
Going for a ride on his bike would certainly help him think. When he was on his bike there was no one but him. He could think about what he wanted without anything nagging at his mind. Tim grabbed his phone and a water bottle before going in the backyard to get his bike.
Tuffy sat at the back door and watched him leave. Tim felt a little bad about leaving Tuffy, but it would only be for an hour or so. Tuffy would be fine. At worst he would come home to something Tuffy had used as his bathroom to show that he was unhappy. Nothing too bad.
As soon as Tim hit the trail with his bike everything was fine. He pushed his bike as fast as he could make it go for a while and climbed a hill. It was a few hours before he got home. Tuffy did show his displeasure by leaving a present under the table for Tim to clean up.