She Will Love You Through Your Demise

Tripping over a box placed in the middle of the living room floor was not how Kate wanted to start her day. Looking around her quaint little beach house and feeling her muscles tense at the mess that it was, also was something she had wanted to avoid at 6:30 in the morning.

She pushed the box she ran into against the bare wall next to her, making sure it was well out of the way before proceeding towards her kitchen to grab a cup of coffee. She never found the taste of coffee very appealing, but it was one of the very few things that kicked her butt in the morning and gave her the jolt she needed to fully wake up.

She took a mug out of the dish-rack and grabbed the pot of fresh coffee. She poured the steaming hot liquid into her cup until it was almost full before setting it back down and grabbing the creamer and sugar. When her beverage was to her liking she turned around and leaned against the edge of the counter, closing her eyes and letting the steam wrap itself around her face as she took small sips.

When she started to feel a little more awake she pushed away from the counter and made her way towards the living room patio doors. The sun was already shining brightly, warming her body up as she stood in front of the glass door, mindlessly watching the early morning surfers trying to catch a wave before the day officially started.

She turned around and walked back towards the kitchen, taking the last mouthful of her coffee before rinsing out her cup and placing it back in the dish rack. Deciding that she wasn't quite ready for breakfast, she made her way towards the front door and unlocked it before opening it up all the way.

Stepping outside, dressed in an old Lynyrd Skynryd tour t-shirt, boy-shorts and thick men’s work socks, she opened up the mailbox and pulled out the daily paper, flyers and the envelopes addressed to a Kaitlen Malone. She turned around and looked down the street, only taking notice of one person outside, jogging down the street with their ipod in and their golden retriever running next to them.

She stepped back inside, closing the door behind her. She flipped through her mail as she walked towards the breakfast bar separating her kitchen and dining room. As she made her way through her home, she kept all of her attention focused on the papers in her hands and not particularly on what was in front of her, so tripping over another box was not something she was expecting.

"Sonofabitch!" Kate yelled, kicking the box as hard as she could with her right foot. She watched as it went sliding across the wooden floor, hitting one of the bar stools placed along the breakfast bar. She stood in the same spot for a minute, glaring at the brown cardboard box as she tried to calm down.

She walked over to the box, and threw the papers that were in her hands onto the counter before bending down and reading the side of the box. Wedding Photos was written in black permanent marker across one of the sides. Kate sighed as she bent over and opened up the box.

Managing not to focus on any of the photos, she rustled through the box until she was sure everything was okay before she closed it back up and gently slid it across the floor with her foot until it was pressed against a wall with a few other boxes of the same size.

She stood a few feet away from the box, her hands securely rested on her hips and gently biting her bottom lip, as she debated what to do with it. She didn't want to destroy everything in it, but she didn't exactly want it around as a reminder either.

Picking up the box and walking to her front door, Kate slipped on a pair of Vans and grabbed her keys. After locking the door and throwing the box in the trunk of her car, Kate climbed in and started the engine before pulling out of her driveway and making her way down the street.

She pulled into a familiar laneway and got out of the car. She opened the trunk and grabbed the box before walking up to the front door and ringing the doorbell.

She was aware that while she was standing on the door step she wasn't really dressed appropriately, still in her boy-short underpants, men’s socks and an old tattered band t-shirt, with her hair still untamed, but it was only seven in the morning, and there were very few people outside.

When the door opened to reveal a shirtless Jimmy Sullivan only clad in boxers with his hair dishevelled, Kate outstretched her arms and pushed the box into her best-friend's chest. "Take it. I can't have it in my house."

Jimmy raised an eyebrow, still half asleep and not quite sure what was going on, before looking down at the box to see the writing on the side. He nodded his head and stepped aside, giving Kate room to walk past him and into the house.

Hesitating on the doorstep for a few moments, Kate fiddled with her hands in front of her. "I should really get back home. I need to finish unpacking; I tripped over two boxes this morning within ten minutes."

Jimmy nodded his head, his lean body pressed into the door frame holding his tired body upright, with his eyes half closed, squinting from the sun that seemed to be directing all its light into his face.

Biting her lip and taking a half step backwards, Kate looked up and smiled, "uhm, thanks. Call me later," and with that she turned around and jogged to her car that was still running with the driver-side door open.

Jimmy watched Kate make her way to the car, finally noticing what she was wearing and instead of smiling or even laughing, he found himself frowning. He was worried that she was finally coming apart, and that she might just lock herself away as Brian had. But he was determined on keeping that from happening.

When Kate found herself back in her driveway, she got out of her car and slowly made her way up the front stairs and to her door. She unlocked it and stepped inside, hanging the keys up and kicking her shoes off before closing the door behind her.

She made her way into her living room and sat down on the hardwood floor, grabbing the nearest box and opening it up. She pulled everything out and laid it in front of her, organizing the things she wanted set out and putting things back into boxes that she wanted put away or throw out.

When Kate began to feel her stomach rumble she looked up at the clock, shocked to find that it was already noon. Standing up and raising her arms in the air to stretch, she looked around and smiled, finally feeling like she achieved something. Almost everything in the living room, dining room, and kitchen was unpacked and put away, which only left getting rid of all the empty boxes that were now stacked up near the front entrance.

Kate walked to the kitchen and opened up the fridge, pulling out a small box of leftover delivery pizza. She placed two pieces on a plate and put it in the microwave to reheat. When the microwave beeped, she grabbed her plate and a cold bottle of water from the fridge and headed towards her patio doors.

Stepping outside, Kate closed the screen door behind her and walked over to a chair on the right side of her deck. Once she was comfortable, she began to eat her lunch, as she stared out ahead of her.

Even after she was done, Kate found herself still watching all of the people on the beach and out in the water having fun. A pang of sadness hit her, and she started to remember back when the whole group used to get together and hangout at the beach all day.

Before Kate could dwell on the past any longer, she heard the phone ring from inside, causing her to jump up and make her way to the living room.

Checking the I.D she hesitated with her hand hovering slightly above the slick black phone. She puffed out her cheeks before letting all the air rush out past her lips and grabbed the phone as it was about to ring the last set of irritating rings.

"Hello," she greeted into the phone, almost instantly regretting not ignoring the call.

"Good morning Kaitlen," the voice on the other end of the line greeted, cheery with a hint of annoyance.

Kate let the silence grow, wanting desperately to end the phone call before a conversation could begin.

"Well," the feminine voice spoke, "aren't you going to say anything to your mother?"

Sighing, Kate slid down the end column that was attached to the breakfast bar, until she was sitting on the floor with her back pressed against the column and her head tipped back.

"How're you, mom?"

"Well, thank-you for asking. I'm doing quite lovely, I suppose you could say. Your father is out golfing today with Don, thank-God. I couldn't stand him just sitting around here all day. He really needs to keep up on his hobbies. He just drives me nuts when he's home with nothing to do. Your sister..."

Kate closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose; she half-heartedly listened to her mother yap about her sister and all her problems, keeping quiet as she sat in her spot. She dreaded the phone calls she shared with her mother, she always had. When her and Brian were together, and he was home from tour, he would often answer the phone and tell her mother that Kate was out of the house with the girls for the day but that he would let her know that her mother called, just so Kate wouldn't have to go through the torture of sitting and listening to her mother yap for hours at a time.

The first time, Kate had been in the hallway, Brian in the kitchen, when she heard the phone. Brian had picked it up and she heard the one sided conversation Brian had with her mother. She never led on that she knew what he had done for her that first time. To her, it was one of those precious moments that she never wanted to let go.

Kate found herself smiling at the memory, only to have it ruined by her mother yelling into the phone.

"Kaitlen! Kaitlen Malone-Haner, are you even listening to me?"

"What?" Kate asked, jumping up.

"I said are you even listening to me?" her mother repeated.

"What did you call me, mom?"

"Kaitlen Malone-Haner, why?"

Kate's heart began to thud harder in her chest at the sound of Haner connected to her name. It had been one of the first things she had done when she left Brian, changing the name that appeared on her mail. Hearing Kaitlen Haner for the first time in months shook her up, too much in fact, for her own liking.

"Is everything okay, honey?"

Shaking her head, Kaitlen pushed everything to the back of her mind. "Yes, sorry, I thought you said something else."

"Speaking of, how's Brian doing? I haven't talked to him in such a long time. Did the boys get home from their last tour okay?"

"He's doing well mom, and yes, they all got home. They're just taking a break right now, and then they're going to start writing again."

"Oh, that's wonderful news! Is he home right now, sweetie? I sure would love to talk to him."

"No mom, Brian is out tonight. I'll pass the message along to him though, okay?" Kate choked back oncoming tears. Talking about Brian to her mom as if they were still together tore her heart apart. But she knew that having to tell her mother that she had left Brian was much more unbearable.

"Sounds lovely, but I need to go now, your father is pulling in the laneway and your sister should be here with the baby and Nick any minute."

"Okay, have a great visit. Talk to you soon," blinking her eyes rapidly, Kate tried to get rid of tears that threatened to escape her eyes and deceive her.

"Kaitlen," her mother gently said into the phone, "are you sure you're okay?"

"Yea mom, I'm great, I just have a bit of a headache right now." Lying to her mother was the least of her worries; she needed to end the conversation before she broke down.

"Well go lie down, feel better. I love you."

"I love you too mom, bye." Kaitlen hung-up the phone and tossed it on the counter before running for her bedroom.

Swinging open the door, she ran for her bed with her right hand clasped over her nose and mouth. She fell onto the bed, her face buried into her pillow, muffling the sounds of her sobs.

Her whole body shook and trembled as she broke-down. Moving her body slightly, Kate pulled her duvet over her body and up past her head. Closing her eyes, she let the tears slip out and run down her cheeks.

This was what she had been avoiding for the past three months and she found herself hating Brian more with every tear that escaped from her closed eyes.

She hated him for making her feel so vulnerable.