What's It Like to Die Alone?

I woke up, shaking a little. I was being hugged tightly and I could feel a warm breath on the back of my neck.
“Heroin?”
“Don’t call me that.” he whispered.
“Oh, sorry, B?”
He smiled against my neck and kissed it once. “I’m here.”
“Good morning.”
“Morning.”
I rolled over so I was facing him. His eyes fluttered open and I smiled. “Your eyes look better.”
“What was wrong with them before?”
“They were constantly blood shot and you had bags underneath them. Do you never look in a mirror?”
“I try not to.”
“Well, they’re not bloodshot and the bags are smaller.”
“See what some good ‘ol fashioned sex can do?”
I laughed quietly. “I doubt it was that.”
He nodded, then nuzzled his face into my bare chest, pulling me close. “What’s going to happen when they find me in here?”
“My room is locked, they won’t see you.”
“But I have to get out of here somewhere, and it’s throwing it down outside, so I can’t get out of here via the window.”
“Oh, of course. Well walk out of here confidently, holding my hand. If it looks like I want you to be around me then maybe they’ll let you?”
“Perhaps. Truth be told, I don’t want to leave this bed. I’m quite comfortable here cuddling with you.”
“Mmm, me too.”
He looked up at me with his big brown, chocolaty eyes. I pressed my lips to his once and he smiled into it. He broke away then pulled me into a tight hug.
He whispered something incoherent.
“What?” I whispered back.
“I said I’m thinking that I’m getting more attracted to you every day.”
“I’m already attracted to you.”
“I already was, but my feelings have grown even stronger. No one has treated me like a person in years. You do and, ahh fuck it!”
His warm tears fell down my shoulders. “I like you a lot, so I’m bound to treat you nicely.”
He sniffed then laughed. “You bring out all of my emotions.”
“Sorry?”
“Don’t be sorry. You’re turning me back into a human being, rather than a walking waste of space.”
I kissed his nose. “You’re a gorgeous human at that.”
“No, you can give me confidence boosters, but don’t lie to me. Just don’t.” he frowned and got out of bed, putting his hands on the wall and leaning against it, his head hung low.
“I’m not lying.” I said, putting on my underwear and wrapping my arms around his waist. He pushed them away.
“Don’t be all comforting. You’re acting like we’re a couple. It’s sickening.”
I was taken a back by his blunt, spiteful comments. I know we’re not a couple, but only a few minutes ago he was saying how he was attracted to me and how he loved cuddling me.
Way to screw around a girl.
“At least I’m not fucking sick in the head.” I spat back. “And I’m not a jerk. I don’t act all warm and caring with someone then throw it back in their face as soon as I get the chance. My emotions remain constant. I don’t fuck people around. I don’t think, hey, it’s been a while, I need a good fuck, he looks easy, yeah!”
“Shut the fuck up already!” he shouted, throwing his hands up in the air. “Just shut up.”
He grabbed his boxers and slipped them back on.
I put on some skinny jeans, a long gray jumper and a tan belt over the top with a necklace. Heroin was sat in the corner, hugging his knees, and rocking back and forth slowly.
“B?”
He looked up at me, pure hate in his eyes. “What.”
“I’m sorry. I over-reacted.”
“Damn right you did. You’re… just… and I, you.” he sighed and hid his head.
I sat next to him and held out my hand for him to hold it.
“Come on.” I said, slightly irked. He was a bitch to me, and I retaliated. Yet I’m the bad one?
I lifted up his head gently with one finger and fresh tears were streaming down his face. “I’m a fucking embarrassment, bite me.”
I cuddled into him.
“I’m sorry, Freya.”
“It’s okay, B.”
“But it’s not! If it was okay, then you wouldn’t hate me, would you?”
“I don’t hate you. You think I’d sleep with you if I hated you?”
“Everyone else in the World does. Every single one.”
“So you don’t know how to accept compliments or good emotions, it’s understandable.”
“No it’s not! I can’t love anymore. It’s not physically possible.”
“I didn’t ask for you to love me, B.”
“But I want to love someone, I want them to love me back.”
I pressed my lips to his once. “Calm down. I don’t take things to heart, really.”
His eyes fluttered shut and pulled me close. “You’re getting better, and you’ll have to leave me. I’ll be here for several more months, possibly years. I won’t be able to do it without you.”
“What were you doing before me?”
“Fuck all. Absolutely fuck all.”
“For real?”
“Unfortunately. I need things to spur me along, and you do that. I jeopardized your life but it spurred me. I’m sorry about that.”
“I’m here right now, so it doesn’t matter.”
He lifted up my shirt and kissed my stomach. “You’re more flesh now, rather than just bones. I don’t want you to be anorexic, but I want you to stay here. I can’t get better that quickly…” he sobbed.
I kissed his fore head. “I’ll visit.”
“But it’s not the same…”
“I can stop eating if you want.”
“No! Don’t you dare!” he shouted. “Sorry for shouting.”
I stood up and he did too. He bent down and kissed my nose, then my cheek, fore head, lips. He held my face gently in his hands and kissed down my neck. I leaned back slightly so he could get to my neck with more ease. I moaned slightly as he flicked his tongue across my sweet spot. He broke away and laced his fingers with mine.
“A kiss for every time I’ve hurt you, shouted at you, even thought bad things about you.”
I smiled and rested my head against his chest, listening to his heart beat.
Ba bum. Ba bum.