What's It Like to Die Alone?

“Freya, we’re concerned about you. We don’t think you’re safe being around him, no one is safe around him. He’s a threat to people’s safety and we can keep him locked up if that makes it easier for you.”
“What would make it easier is if he moved into my room.” I nodded.
Dr Kati looked at me as if I was insane. The same way he looks at Heroin all the time.
“I hope you’re joking.”
I shook my head. “He’s a good friend, Dr, and he’s improving isn’t he?”
“Yes, but-”
“Precisely. He hasn’t harmed me, the cut was purely accidental and was my fault. You have no proof showing that he’s dangerous.”
“He’s been very violent before this, he has attacked at least 3 people for looking at him in a way which he disliked. He’s harmed women also.”
“No he hasn’t.”
“He has, Jane Holgate was an anorexic like you. He raped her and after that he was put in the padded room with the straight jacket and people watching him at all times.”
“No.” I said, not believing a word that came out of their mouths. “No.”
“Freya, I’m sorry, but this is all unfortunately true.”
“It can’t be.” I whispered. “He’s so nice to me, I don’t get it. Someone this caring can’t rape someone.”
“Do you want to go to think everything over…?”
I nodded weakly, grabbed my jacket and left his room, shutting the door.
Fuck.
I heard some footsteps approaching me from behind. I turned around to see Heroin coming. Not the person I wanted to see.
“Hey!” he chirped.
I ignored him and clutched my jacket closer to me, staring straight ahead. My room door was in sight.
“Why aren’t you talking to me?”
“You… how could you do that to someone?”
“Do what.”
“Does the name Jane Holgate ring any bells?!”
He went pale and stopped. “They told you? I’m going to kill them!” he shouted.
“You fucking raped someone, and expect me to think that being all nice and cuddly to me isn’t some façade? Do you realize how fucked up this is?”
“What? You’ve totally got the wrong end of the stick!”
“How? How can I mis-interpret rape?”
“Freya.” he said, placing a hand on my shoulder. I tensed up.
“Jane Holgate raped me, but I didn’t say anything because she was about to be let out. She would have to stay in for way longer if it’d been the other way round. Besides, how often do you hear about a guy getting raped? Not very often, so they wouldn’t have believed me anyway.”
“You lied… to let her have her freedom?”
He nodded and blushed. “It wasn’t a nice experience. She actually strapped me down and gagged me. If I fought back the straps cut deeper into my wrists or I would be choking myself.”
“Shit… I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have jumped to-”
“Don’t sweat it, I can see why you would believe it. I mean, look at me, I wouldn’t want to meet me in a back alley.”
I pulled him into a tight hug, which he wasn’t expecting, so tensed up. He dropped his shoulders and hugged me back, smiling slightly against my neck.
“Do you believe me?” he whispered.
“Of course I do, I never believe what Dr Kati says, he’s a jerk-off.”
He laughed a little. “He is, he is.”
I rubbed his back softly and kissed his cheek. “I tried to tell them how lovely you were but they didn’t believe me. It really pisses me off, y’know? You’re so kind and loving but they don’t give a damn! It’s so prejudiced.”
“I’ve had worse, don’t worry hun. You get used to it after a while. I’m thick skinned really, even if it took several years for it to develop.”
“You’re a great inspiration.”
“Shut up.” he whispered, his eyes becoming watery. “I’m a shit inspiration. My kids will be fucked up because I’ll be such an awful parent. I won’t be able to give any decent advice or anything. But I love kids and I do want at least one, if only I could be trusted enough or sane enough to cope.”
I let go of him and kissed his cheeks. “You’ll be a kick ass parent. If you show your kids as much love as you show everyone else, they’ll love you to death.”
He half smiled and held my hand. “Thanks, Freya. I’m sorry you had to hear that before, ideally I wanted it to be kept away from you. Do you think any less of me?”
“No, of course not, B! That’s just crazy, it’s made me think more of you because once again, you weren’t thinking of yourself. However, rape is a serious thing and you should report it really.”
“No one will care about me.” he shrugged.
“I do, and if no one else does, I’ll care enough to make up for it.”
He kind of smiled and hugged me again. “I think I’m going to go to bed, now.”
“Okay B, sleep tight.”
“Good night love, see you in the morning.”
He kissed my forehead goodnight, then left in the direction of the drug sector.

Why did they not want me to be near Heroin? He’s so lovely!
Their pride, probably. they don’t want to get it knocked by admitting he’s a loving person.

Damn this fucked up world.