The Ties That Bind

I squished sand in between my toes and sighed.

“Dad can we go now? I’m bored.”

Bryan looked down at his feet nodding with agreement.

My Dad stood up and started walking. I got up and slowly followed him with Bryan trotting behind me.

“Not just yet.” He answered.

I watched a really big wave crash to the shore. Bringing hundreds of small flat rocks. My dad reached over and picked one up and tossing it back into the water, making what was left of the still water ripple.

“You know I used to take you two here all the time.” He stopped in his tracks. “This is where I met your mom…5 years later I proposed to her here…this is where your mom told me she was pregnant with Bryan… and now well…I have to tell you two something I just don’t know how to say it…”

He looked down and seemed as if ready to cry.

“Dad…What’s going on?” Bryan questioned.

“I--“
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“Les wake up” Bryan nudged me and I fell off of whatever I was laying on.

“WHAT THE FUCK BRYAN!!??”

He looked a bit taken back by my outburst.

“Les I didn’t even push you that hard. I didn’t mean to.”

I rolled my eyes and got up realizing that I must have been sleeping on Paul.

My cheeks turned red.

I apologized to him and ran to my room.

I took my phone out of its holder and dialed my voice mail. And flipped to the message I always listen to when I have a dream about him.

Hey Les, when you have the chance give me a call back. We are going to the beach today. So pack up when you get home. Bye.

End of messages

I rubbed my eyes and tucked myself into a tight little ball, resting my head on my knees. It’s been almost 2 years since he passed away and I still have that damn message on my phone. I need to learn how to let go.

I heard a knock at my door .

“What?”

“Hey Les it’s, Paul, the guys and I are heading to the mall. Wanted to see if you would want to go with us. You know like old times.”

I sighed and slipped on my kicks.

“I’ll be down in a minute.”

I heard him walk downstairs and sighed.

Why the hell didn’t he wake me up if I was sleeping on top of him?

I tied my hair up in a bun and grabbed my bag.

I hopped into the car planting myself in between Martin and Paul.

They talked about the new CD they were working on and I just sat there in my own little world. I played with the loose strands of hair.

“We are here!” John parked the car and we all got out.

We walked through the walk ways skimming through random stores. John bought some new belts and tees. Bryan and Martin got new tees. And I was skimming through some of the things at hot topic with Paul.

I saw a nice necklace, a music note, on a thin sterling chain. I ran my fingers past it. Paul tapped my shoulder.

“Bryan just texted me they want to head to the food court. Why don’t you go on ahead and I’ll catch up with you.”

I nodded and started walking to the food court.

“Hey sexy”

I stopped in my tracks and felt the breath get caught into my chest. My face went pale and I went ice cold.

His nose touched my neck and making its way up grazing my ear and whispered.

“Can’t wait to have more fun with you.”

He breathed down my neck and slowly walked away.

I ran to the car and hid under the seat crying. I was all by myself curled up into a ball crying my eyes out.

“Where the hell could she have gone?!” I heard Bryan yelling.

John got into the car.

“Lesley?! Bryan she is in here! Lesley what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

I darted out the door and took off running.